Self-love

You are welcome here, and I hope you will feel nurtured here. I am so happy that you found me! I started this website with the intention of helping others through sharing my experiences of healing from depression. After suffering for many years, and trying many traditional methods of healing, I learned that in order to heal, I must love and accept myself. I write about my journey through depression using tools that have helped me learn self-love.

Moving your body helps to heal depression

Awareness, Depression, Healing & personal growth, Meditation, Nurture yourself - No Comments » - Posted on March, 8 at 1:16 am

I am connected to my body again!

I’ve been on a hiatus from writing because I just wasn’t feeling it. I always want to be coming from a place of authenticity, so I don’t want to write just for the heck of it. As I may have mentioned in one of my last posts, I have been doing alot of inner processing. Wow, I have to tell you, I feel like I have found something I lost a long time ago. No idea when I lost myself, but all I know is that I am back. Specifically, my head is now attached to my body. I actually *feel* like I am living in my body again. Honestly, I had no idea how cut off I was from my body. By this I mean really feeling the sensations of my body, really *knowing* that those attached limbs are mine. It is so hard to explain the feeling except to say that it reminds me of watching a baby discovering her body; wiggling her hands, seeing her legs kicking in the air. Imagine the baby’s delight when she realizes that *she* is the one moving those little toes, hands, legs. This is exactly how I felt one night when I was doing what I call moving meditation. I was dancing in a dim room with my Ipod in my ears, and suddenly I felt a strong connection to my legs. Slowly, the rest of my body became known. I actually *felt* my legs moving; I mean I really felt the tingling of the *aliveness* in my body. I nearly fell on the floor and cried. I had *no idea* what I had been missing. I was a numb person walking around practically bodiless. I welcomed my body back, and celebrated her arrival!

To feel better-MOVE your body however you can

I must tell you that if you want to feel better-MOVE. I don’t mean move because you think you want to be in better shape, or move because “it is good for you”. I mean go to a space where you can be alone, light some candles (or not), dim the lights or turn them completely off, and then let your body lead you in how it wants to move. No fancy dance moves, no worries about how you look, no thinking you may be doing it “wrong” (there is no wrong here). Just close your eyes and let your body lead you. Trust me, it will. And, the best part? You will feel so much better. No expectations here. Just allow your body to move. I will tell you I have had some strong feelings come up. This may or may not be the case for you. I had so much anger I wanted to punch something. I found an outlet for that, a yoga block. It worked. I even punched the air, and that helped too. Sadness hit me too. Please don’t be afraid of the emotions though. They are energy-as long as I remember to breathe, they go right through me. I feel them in my body, NOT in my head. I get in touch with how my body feels, not what my mind *thinks* about what my body is feeling.

If I don’t know why I feel depressed, moving helps me feel relief

There is a big difference here, and I think this is why movement is so powerful. Our bodies have stored every little detail of everything we have experienced in our lifetime. So sometimes when we feel so incredibly depressed and don’t know why, it is because our bodies were triggered and our bodies are remembering something that needs to be felt and released. This leads to relief and freedom! So many times I have felt so depressed and I drive myself INSANE trying to figure out why. My mind makes up all kinds of scenarios, but none of these stories feel true in my body. My mind is capable of making me believe just about anything, but if I don’t feel it in my body, it doesn’t really feel quite true.

My body needs to move!

Movement is what our bodies love. When we allow our bodies to just flow, just move how they want to, our mind turns off. This is the beauty of moving. I have always been a person who feels better after I exercise. However, this movement that I am talking about is NOT about exercise. It does exercise your body, to be sure, but that is not the point of it. The point is to let your body express itself, let your body be free, and give your mind a break from the stories that are not true. Allowing your body to hear music and move without judgment is like finding a treasure within a pile of junk. I can see and feel that this is one component of healing depression that is essential. Expressing myself in this way is so freeing. It helps me move energy that is stuck in my body.

This is not about what you look like when you move

It is so important to remember that this is not about what you look like when you dance and move. It is not about what you wear or what music is the right music. It is just about finding something that feels comfortable and allows you to move around freely. It is about finding music that speaks to you, and finding a space where you feel safe and free to move as your body wants to. Lock the door if you need to, cover the mirrors, turn off the lights. It is ok to just stand there and wiggle your toes or your hands. Look at your hands when you wiggle them. Remember, there are no special moves or choreography, just follow your body, because it will lead you.

Sending an intention out to the Universe

For the last few months I knew that I wanted to move my body more than I was but I just wasn’t sure of the path. It is always interesting to me how resources and people show up in our lives as we put out intentions out there. I found a wonderful book called Dance- The Sacred Art: The Joy Of Movement As Spiritual Practice (The Art of Spiritual Living). It is on the book carousel on my site. It is exactly what I was looking for. I am also incorporating some yoga into my morning routine before I meditate. My body finally yelled loud enough for me to hear! My truth is popping out everywhere, and it feels wonderful!!!!!!! I feel more confident, authentic, and true to who I really am.

Gabrielle Roth

Start here by listening to Gabrielle Roth’s The Power Wave. I use an Ipod so that I don’t really hear outside distractions, but do whatever feels good to you! You can also download her song called Body Parts. It is excellent to help you focus on each body part. I couldn’t find a youtube video of that one. Imagine all of the other people you are connecting to when you are dancing! Incredible! Leave any judgments or expectations at the door. They are not allowed in. Only your true self (which is perfection!) and your incredible body. Have fun!

There is also a really easy song to dance around to called “C’mon” , under “featured videos”. It is such a good feeling song!! Shake your booty, you will be so pleasantly surprised and filled with joy!

I’ve never met you, but I know you

Basic needs, Connection - No Comments » - Posted on February, 23 at 12:33 am

Today my son and I stopped at the store to buy a birthday card for a friend. We were standing next to an older man who was looking for a card for his wife. Somehow we started talking about cards and how it isn’t always easy to choose one. A serious one or a funny one? We both agreed that a funny one was the way to go. My son and I picked up a card and we both cracked up laughing! The man held out his hand and said, “did you find a funny one?” He read it and got a chuckle too. Then I picked up another one and laughed, my son read it and he laughed, so again, the man held out his hand to read it too. He laughed and said this is it, this is the one I need to get for her. He then mentioned he was on his way back to Florida in a few days. I told him how envious I was. He said that they had to come back home because the “boy” running his farm had suddenly passed away.

father_daughter_hug

I instantly felt such a compassionate connection to him. I already felt a connection just standing next to him picking out cards, but when he told me this, I wanted to reach out and hug him. Even though I had never seen this man before in my life, I wanted to reach out to him to let him know I felt his pain. Thoughts went through my head as to how I could do this without him thinking I was crazy. Then I wondered why we have to worry about such things when we are feeling such empathy and compassion for someone. I don’t like it that I had to worry about if showing true emotion would have scared him away. I know, this could be a really long conversation, but just in general, I felt really sad that we have been taught to hide emotions from others.

He explained more about the situation and fought back tears as he told me about his friend (the boy) that was only 57, and he just suddenly had a heart attack. I wanted so badly to tell him it’s ok to cry! I did empathize with him and let him know how sorry I was and how difficult it must be. He seemed really receptive to my compassion, which felt good. We talked about how grateful we are to have each moment and that you just never know when it is our time to go. I felt such a connection to this man. We talked about his farm, and how it was built in the 1800’s, just such a neat person he was.

I came home thinking how much I wish we could all just show our true emotions. Why is it so scary for us to be the humans we really are? Emotions are energy, and they are a part of us. It is sad that most people have been taught to be afraid of them, and to avoid them at all costs. Myself included. I’ve said before, I never knew I had any other emotions besides anger. Expressing it was a whole other story! I still wonder what would have happened if I offered the man a hug? Not sure I really would have, but I really felt the need to touch his arm, just some way to connect with him. I wanted to share with him that I know what it is like to lose someone suddenly. I know that feeling of being in total shock of losing someone I loved. On some level, I think he knew. I think he felt a connection the same as I did. Even though we had never met, we both *knew* we shared a connection. We all do. Your pain is my pain, and my pain is your pain.

I really hope to make a conscious effort to share my emotions even with total strangers. What do I have to lose? I want to feel the whole range of my humanness. I want others to know that I *get* it, I understand the pain of loss, the feeling of disappointment, the feeling of joy. I think this is the key to peace in our world. When we are all able to find and *feel* the connection between every single person we come into contact with, there will be peace. This includes those people that we think we just can’t stand. They are mirroring something in us that needs to be healed. When we are covering up our truth, we are blocking our peace. When even one of us is having a hard time, the world feels it. I chose to focus on peace. I want to pay attention to the good happening in the world instead of the bad. One person at a time healing themselves leads to a world of peace. We can all begin healing by being authentic and emotional.

Free Hugs!!

I like this video! Also, please enjoy the video under featured videos, Anna Nalick’s Shine.

Daily Nurturing

“The dancing universe is literally in us. One hundred twenty-five billion chains of DNA are spiral-dancing inside our bodies. These little turnkeys unlock vast amounts of knowledge hidden from the mind and on infinitesimal levels connect us to the ancient dance of our human ancestors. Our cells vibrate with movement.”

by Cynthia Winton-Henry, Dance-the sacred art: The joy of Movement as a Spiritual Practice

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By N2H

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