I’ve never met you, but I know you

Written by Amie on February 23, 2010 – 12:33 am -

Today my son and I stopped at the store to buy a birthday card for a friend. We were standing next to an older man who was  looking for a card for his wife. Somehow we started talking about cards and how it isn’t always easy to choose one. A serious one or a funny one? We both agreed that a funny one was the way to go. My son and I picked up a card and we both cracked up laughing! The man held out his hand and said, “did you find a funny one?” He read it and got a chuckle too. Then I picked up another one and laughed, my son read it and he laughed, so again, the man held out his hand to read it too. He laughed and said this is it, this is the one I need to get for her. He then mentioned he was on his way back to Florida in a few days. I told him how envious I was. He said that they had to come back home because the “boy” running his farm had suddenly passed away.

father_daughter_hug

I instantly felt such a compassionate connection to him. I already felt a connection just standing next to him picking out cards, but when he told me this, I wanted to reach out and hug him. Even though I had never seen this man before in my life, I wanted to reach out to him to let him know I felt his pain. Thoughts went through my head as to how I could do this without him thinking I was crazy. Then I wondered why we have to worry about such things when we are feeling such empathy and compassion for someone. I don’t like it that I had to worry about if showing true emotion would have scared him away. I know, this could be a really long conversation, but just in general, I felt really sad that we have been taught to hide emotions from others.

He explained more about the situation and fought back tears as he told me about his friend (the boy) that was only 57, and he just suddenly had a heart attack. I wanted so badly to tell him it’s ok to cry! I did empathize with him and let him know how sorry I was and how difficult it must be. He seemed really receptive to my compassion, which felt good. We talked about how grateful we are to have each moment and that you just never know when it is our time to go. I felt such a connection to this man. We talked about his farm, and how it was built in the 1800’s, just such a neat person he was.

I came home thinking how much I wish we could all just show our true emotions. Why is it so scary for us to be the humans we really are? Emotions are energy, and they are a part of us. It is sad that most people have been taught to be afraid of them, and to avoid them at all costs. Myself included. I’ve said before, I never knew I had any other emotions besides anger. Expressing it was a whole other story! I still wonder what would have happened if I offered the man a hug? Not sure I really would have, but I really felt the need to touch his arm, just some way to connect with him. I wanted to share with him that I know what it is like to lose someone suddenly. I know that feeling of being in total shock of losing someone I loved. On some level, I think he knew. I think he felt a connection the same as I did. Even though we had never met, we both *knew* we shared a connection. We all do.  Your pain is my pain, and my pain is your pain.

I really hope to make a conscious effort to share my emotions even with total strangers. What do I have to lose? I want to feel the whole range of my humanness. I want others to know that I *get* it, I understand the pain of loss, the feeling of disappointment, the feeling of joy. I think this is the key to peace in our world. When we are all able to find and *feel* the connection between every single person we come into contact with, there will be peace. This includes those people that we think we just can’t stand. They are mirroring something in us that needs to be healed. When we are covering up our truth, we are blocking our peace. When even one of us is having a hard time, the world feels it. I chose to focus on peace. I want to pay attention to the good happening in the world instead of the bad. One person at a time healing themselves leads to a world of peace. We can all begin healing by being authentic and emotional.

Free Hugs!!

I like this video! Also, please enjoy the video under featured videos, Anna Nalick’s Shine.

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Acceptance,shedding the old,and lessons from a lizard!

Written by Amie on February 7, 2010 – 9:32 pm -

According to the growth charts……

Stay with me here, this isn’t completely about my new pet. So I have a new pet lizard…a bearded dragon to be exact. My son bought her from a breeder and took such great care of her. For some strange reason she hasn’t grown much since we’ve had her. According to the growth charts she should be at least double her size by now. My son was very disappointed, as he wanted a “normal” bearded dragon. He said he would like to return the dragon to the breeder and get one that is older and bigger, already growing normally. I have never considered myself a reptile kind of girl! I thought we would just return the little creature, and then find another one for my son. Somewhere along the line I became a wee bit attached to her. Maybe because I helped my son with ideas to get the little one to eat, changing the lighting….trying to get her to grow. Hmmm…..so I started dragging my feet on returning her to the breeder. Let’s just try one more thing….etc. etc.

Can I return her?

The day we were supposed to return her I felt really agitated and “off”. There was something pulling me to keep her. I went over and over it in my head…why in the world would I want to have a lizard? It must be because I just want to make her well, etc etc. I told my son I might keep her. He was a bit shocked at first. I told him I was going to go meditate and I would let him know what I decide. So, I meditated, and it was very clear to me that I should keep her. I surprised myself I do believe!  For some reason, it just felt like the right decision.

beardie

What is “enough”?

So, here I am…..me and a bearded dragon. She is cute for a lizard. Each day I would go in and try to feed her. She wasn’t real keen on eating much. I felt myself wanting so badly for her to “grow normally”, (whatever normal means!). She was doing everything else that classified her as being “normal”, she just wasn’t eating enough to make her grow enough. I tried everything I could think of, I wrote to other people who have bearded dragons, etc. I just kept thinking I wanted her to be healthy like a normal lizard. Then, it hit me. Why not just accept her the way she is? In every other way, she is healthy. She just isn’t growing at the normal rate. She startled easily, and still seemed nervous to be so young in a new place, all alone. Maybe she just needs me to accept her where she is, let her be who she is until she feels comfortable. I know, she IS a lizard, but I still felt like she was giving me this gift of accepting myself exactly where I am. Heck, if I can accept a lizard, I should be able to accept myself, right?

Accepting her and myself exactly where we are

The day after I decided to accept her exactly how she is, she ate triple the amount of crickets! I know, she is a lizard…but still. I feel like she is my mirror in some strange lizardy way. Today she shed her skin. Yet another lesson for me. I am in a huge place of growing right now, and seeing her shed her old skin and embrace the new reminds me that I need to do the same. I am shedding the old beliefs that do not work for me, and I am embracing and honoring my truth. One more layer gone, another layer closer to who I really am. I feel I am constantly comparing my “old” way of being, doing, and thinking, to my new, or rather my true way of being, doing, and thinking.

I am exactly where I’m supposed to be

I would never have thought a little lizard named Na’vi (I loved the Na’vi tribe in the movie Avatar!) could be a teacher. But she is. I think she actually grew a smidgen today too. But, if she did, or if she didn’t…I’m ok with her exactly how she is. She is growing exactly how she should be growing. How do I know this? Because that’s what is right now, so it must be the way it was meant to be. I also accept myself exactly as I am right now. I don’t need to be any further along, because where I am is where I am supposed to be. If I can accept a lizard for where she is on her journey, then I surely can accept myself for where I am. Crickets, anyone?

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