You are so much more than you were conditioned to believe

Written by Amie on September 11, 2013 – 12:27 am -

if something offends you, ask yourself what is it in you that is being triggered?

I feel a deep shift happening within me, and it feels incredible! I am not sure I will be able to describe it, but I’m going to give it a shot. First, I want to let you know two things. One is that I am going to talk about religion (in reference to my own experience), so if hearing others views of religion offends you, you may not want to read this. (however, my suggestion to you is that if something offends you, ask yourself what is it in you that is being triggered?) The second thing is that this post involves much more than just a brief talk about religion, so please keep reading. What I am feeling lately is that for years (who knows how long really?) people have been oppressed because the “higher up people” (i.e. priests, those in power, etc) do not want others to experience their true essence! It feels like the goal is to keep people from feeling the beauty and the power that is within each of us. I have thought about this before, but clarity and depth has come to me over the past week or so. I was raised in the Catholic church. As soon as I moved out on my own, I stopped going to church. Maybe I went for awhile out of guilt, but not for very long. When my kids were born, the guilt got me, and I let the guilt make the decision to have them baptized in the Catholic church. That is the last time they have stepped foot in the church. I regretted having them baptized. I also shunned anything even remotely resembling anything to do with religion. So, this new clarity has been very interesting to me. I am not religious at all in the traditional sense….however, I consider myself very connected to Divine Creation or Divine Energy, and I consider myself “god-like”, the same way I consider every single being in the universe!

I am simply done with believing that some people are better

I found this quote that expresses exactly how I feel. (remember this is my experience and my opinion) “One of the main functions of formalized religions is to protect people against a direct experience of God”~Carl Jung. Oh my goodness this resonates with me in a very deep “a-ha”kind of way. It all makes sense now. It’s a control thing. If people directly feel how magnificent (god-like) they are, those in control will no longer be in control. They wouldn’t have the leverage anymore. Therefore, the goal is to keep people oppressed, keep them believing they are sinners, they are bad. Telling people they will go to hell if they don’t comply with certain “rules” that “god himself ” (a whole other topic about god being a human, and a man) stated. In my opinion, hell is right here on earth for all people who are living in misery, living in a deep dark depression, beating themselves up for not being able to feel better.  I was in hell for years, thinking something was so very wrong with me.

the chosen ones

We have been led to believe that some people (those special few) are the chosen ones to “teach” the rest of us. Oh wow, this does not sit right with me at all! I hope it doesn’t sit well with anyone! I realize what I’m writing may strike a chord with people, and I’m okay with that. This is my blog to discuss my experiences and my thoughts, so here I am doing just that. As always, I hope that my words and experiences spark questions within those reading. I am simply done with believing the lie that some people are better or more enlightened or deserve more than anyone else. Here is what I know for sure. “You are not a drop in the ocean… You are the entire ocean in a drop.”~ Rumi  To me this means each and every one of us is magnificent and powerful beyond belief! Most of us have never had an inkling that this is true because we have been conditioned *away from* who we truly are! And, in this regard I am not just talking about religion. This conditioning comes from many sources. When we are children, it comes from our family because this is the way they were conditioned. It comes from teachers, priests, community leaders, etc. (and please realize, I don’t mean every single person in these positions! Obviously, there are wonderful nurturing, loving people in these positions as well) Until people question their beliefs, it continues to be passed on and on and on……QUESTION EVERYTHING!!!

“too big for their britches”

I realize I am saying things that many have been saying for years. But I need to write about it because the truth has resonated so deeply within me. I think about how many brilliant beautiful children are being conditioned to think something is deeply wrong with them, when in reality it is the adult or adults in their lives that feel threatened by this pure beauty. Therefore, the goal is to make sure the child doesn’t get “too big for their britches”. The goal is to make them never forget that the adult is in control and the child should feel lucky to “live under my roof”. I think about how many parents are emotionally triggered by their children, and then punish the child for being rude or disrespectful or a brat. All because the parent refuses to look at their own upbringing to ask themselves “WHY” is this bothering me so much? Children are brutally honest until they are taught that honesty is not okay. They are taught to “keep it to themselves”, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it”. The definition of “nice” being, “stop saying things that push my buttons, I don’t want to deal with my inner demons”. So, the cycle of “hide your truth” begins. Children receive the message that they do not deserve to be heard, so shut off your voice.

every single human and animal you come into contact with is a mirror for you

I feel very passionate about helping people “heal” from depression. I so badly want each and every human being to *know* instinctively how incredible they are. Your magnificence is just covered up by conditioning; false beliefs that you picked up from your surroundings. People ask me how I got rid of my depression. I truly can’t give them a checklist. It really starts with becoming aware of your thoughts, and becoming aware of the feelings those thoughts invoke within you. Becoming aware of the fact that every single human and animal you come into contact with is a mirror for you. Everyone mirrors back to you what things inside you need to be questioned and then healed.

It is time to stop this cycle! 

If you are suffering with depression, are there things in your life that you are not being truthful with yourself about? Are you listening to the voices (verbal and non-verbal) of others who reiterate that you need to dim your voice?Are you covering up your greatness in order to protect someone in your life from having to face their truth? We have been lied to! Over and over and over! It is time to stop this cycle! Depression is rampant because we are going along with the lies being fed to us. We are all capable of having miraculous lives. I promise you. Awareness, questioning, self-care, self-love,compassion for everyone,(especially those you were taught to hate), love, empathy, authenticity, truth, truth, truth. All of these things will begin falling into place as you begin to question your thoughts and beliefs, and make the decision that you will no longer believe the lie that there is something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you! You are magnificent! Depression is the mask for covering up your truth. Unveil your truth, little by little.

And one more thing

When one is willing to own their story, say their truth, and feel their pain, depression begins to lift. It is a process. This process will be like the waves in the ocean. It is a process of ebb and flow. Some days you will feel lighter and feel relief, and then you might feel heaviness and feel your feelings crashing and crashing.  Your true magnificence will begin to shine through once you voice your truth. Hiding and covering up what is true only keeps one trapped in the belief that something is wrong with you.

 

 

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Posted in Awareness, Depression, healing from depression, Help with depression, Nurture yourself, Self hate, Self-love | 1 Comment »

What is your core wound?

Written by Amie on September 4, 2013 – 2:17 am -

my doubting mind

For some reason today I really felt my core wound. My core wound is that I don’t trust many people. Everybody has a core wound. Some people have deeper wounds than others, but we all have a core wound. I have been healing for quite awhile now, and most days I forget about my core wound. Every now and then my core wound rears its head to remind me it is still there. I’m not really sure why it showed up today. I wasn’t feeling down. I think it could be because I truly feel I am on the verge of stepping into my power completely. I feel I am very close to learning to truly trust the divine energy that, on an intellectual level, I know is there. Most days I feel its presence, and then occasionally my doubting mind creeps back in to make me wonder. And this is when my core wound is triggered. It seems the closer I get to really feeling connected, the more my mind tries to convince me otherwise.

Don’t trust, don’t trust, don’t trust

This is the old belief system doing what it does. Its job is to try to convince me that I should be afraid.Its job has always been to protect me. But the definition of “protect me” in this case is, “do not risk believing or trusting anyone or anything, you know what will happen, you will be hurt.” In the past, this mindset kept me “safe”. Safe meaning I stayed in my protective shell and didn’t let anyone in. Yes, it did keep me safe. However, now that I am a healthy adult, I no longer need this type of protection. So, the more I work on healing my past issues, the quieter that voice gets. When I first started down this road of healing, my voice screamed louder than ever! “Don’t trust, don’t trust, don’t trust!!!” And the majority of the time, I listened. I kept my protective walls up, and I didn’t risk anything. Gradually, I begin sticking a toe out here and there. Most of the time, it was a positive result. So, I kept going. I began to trust more and more, and the voice began getting quieter and quieter.

caught in the little web

As time went on, that voice would still try to yell to me to be careful, don’t trust, but I am more aware now. I have become an observer of that voice. I am able to watch what it does now. As I feel closer to stepping into my power more and more, I see the voice trying to engage me in fear. It no longer has the power over me like it did in the past. I watch it, I even say thank you to it, and I tell it to relax and take a load off. But there are still some days, like today, that I get caught in the little web, and I temporarily forget that it is just a voice. It is a voice from the past that reminds me of where I started. I know that my core wound will always be there, but I also know it is much quieter than it used to be, and I know I gain confidence each time I recognize what is happening and I see it for what it is.

being aware that it no longer serves me

My goal now is to find self compassion around this. I want to be able to hold myself with self love and compassion when my core issue creeps back in. I want to be able to love myself through the doubts, and be able to show compassion for the fear that creeps in. I want to be able to give myself reassurance and space to feel my fear, embrace it, and set it free again. My core wound is a part of who I am. I learned it was not safe to trust people, even those who said they had my back. I understand my core wound, it makes sense. I want to be grateful for the protection it provided me, while also being aware that it no longer serves me. I am learning healthy ways to determine who and what to trust. So, my core wound can take a much needed vacation.

Do you know what your core wound is?

This is something very important to investigate. Until you discover your core wound, you continue to react from a place of unconsciousness. Your body will continue to protect you by reacting the way it has always reacting. Bringing awareness to your inner self will shine light on your core wound so that you are able to heal and grow.

 

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