Listen to your body, and then trust the healing process

Written by Amie on April 20, 2009 – 1:36 am -

Dealing with depression

I want to share a few thoughts about dealing with depression, in case it  might help someone else who is struggling. This past week I had a few days of feeling depressed. In the past, I went months at a time of feeling depressed. So, the first thing I want to mention is that there is hope that you can feel better, and that it is possible to heal from depression.  I was reminded this week of how I get really frustrated when I am depressed. When I am feeling good, reading certain books on depression help me. However, when I am not feeling so good, reading books or listening to books makes me feel angry and hopeless, like there is nothing that can make me feel better.  Overall, books have helped me tremendously, but there are times when I am in a “funk”, that I want to throw them out the window. These are the times when my emotions get too big to stay in my body! These are the times when I feel as if nothing will help me feel better, so reading a book just feels like a waste of time. I know now that things always change, so I start feeling better, and I start reading again, and I go back to trusting the process.

Action helps

Over the years, I have learned that I need to “do” something in order to feel better. There was a time when I would just sit in the struggle, hating the feelings, and wishing for the feelings to go away. This did not help at all. In fact, doing this made me feel much worse. Trying to push the feelings away magnified the feelings. So, what I have learned is that I need to move my body, or I need to meditate, cry,or I need to yell and punch a pillow. I have learned from experience and from my therapist, that emotions need to move. By resisting them, they grow and they get stuck in my body. If I move my body while also acknowledging what part of my body feels anxious or depressed, the emotions move, and I get some relief. When I am feeling stuck, I move my body by either dancing, walking, or exercising my body in some way. After I do that, I meditate. Sometimes I meditate first, it just depends on how my body feels. If I feel like I am a volcano ready to explode, I move my body until I feel a shift of energy. 

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Shift 

The other really important thing I have learned is that I don’t always have to know WHY I am feeling the way I feel. It doesn’t always matter. I can make myself feel even more frustrated by trying to figure out the reason I am feeling depressed. Sometimes we get triggered and our minds don’t know why, but our bodies know. The cells in our bodies have memory, so it is possible for our bodies to remember, but our minds don’t. There was a time that this used to drive me crazy, and it still does sometimes! I just needed to know why I felt a certain way. So for me, I try to connect in with my body to see where I am feeling the feeling. Do I feel a “knot” in my stomach, or do I have a headache? If I focus on where the emotion is in my body, I am able to help it move faster. Many times after moving my body, I will realize the reason I was feeling stuck. Other times, I will feel better,but not know the reason. For me, letting go of the need to know WHY has been a very important part of the healing process.

Depression more widespread

So many of us have been taught to push away our emotions. I believe this is one of the reasons why depression has skyrocketed and anxiety is part of our everyday conversation. We have so many stored, repressed emotions living in our bodies that we become anxious and depressed. We get triggered by things that happen, and we feel a dread in our body. Our body is trying to release the feelings, but we keep trying to make it go away by distracting ourselves or trying to act as though it isn’t a big deal. Pretty soon, our bodies can’t take it anymore, and we become depressed and it doesn’t want to go away. Depression is our body’s way of screaming to us that something needs to be looked at and released, or changed. I am still learning to trust in my healing process. Since I had been depressed for quite awhile, I had to remember that it would not disappear over night. Each time I connect in with my depression, I heal more and more.

I am exactly where I am supposed to be

This has been one of the most difficult lessons for me to learn. I always want to rush my healing, or be farther along in my healing process. I try to come back to this mantra: I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. All Is Well, Trust The Process.

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Posted in Depression, Healing & personal growth, Kids/teenagers and depression, Meditation, Self-love | No Comments »

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