He makes me crazy!!!

Written by Amie on August 12, 2009 – 1:01 am -

I really can’t stand John Rosemond’s books

Okay, so tonight I made the mistake of looking at a new parenting book by John Rosemond when I was at the bookstore. Knowing how much his advice makes me over the top angry, I picked it up anyway! I remember getting furious once a month when I would read his column in the local parenting magazine. I finally stopped reading it when his advice to a parent whose daughter wanted to sleep with her because her parents had just gotten divorced, was to lock her child out of the bedroom and let her cry in the hall! It made me cry. I am so disturbed by him on so many levels. I know I have more power when I am “for” the right stuff, instead of  fighting against the wrong stuff, but I don’t know yet how to turn this around into something positive.

His writing  is disturbing!

I just really need to vent about this. Maybe I will come up with a way to turn my passion into something positive as I write. I think his advice disturbs me so much because it is everything I am against! I believe children should have rights, he believes they should basically have none. The way he writes implies that children are a pain in the ass to their parents, and that they should be miniature soldiers. He actually goes as far as to write a “Children’s Bill Of Rights” on his website. I know I am in some way giving him more exposure by writing about him, but I am writing because I think he is one of the worst people to give parenting advice! Anyway, his “bill of rights” has nothing to do with real rights. They are all about how kids should be obedient and grateful that their parents even let them live inside the house. Can you tell yet that he infuriates me beyond belief? The only way I can make myself have an ounce of compassion for him is to believe that  he must have been abused as a child.  He must have been so beaten into submission that he believes that he deserved this treatment.


Fear and guilt!

His books and writings seem to be based in fear and guilt. His goal seems to be to make parents feel as though they are not good parents unless they have “obedient” (who uses this word anymore???) soldiers for children. I am a huge advocate for children’s rights, and I think this is why I get so upset whenever I happen across anything written by him. He is so incredibly disrespectful. It is hard for me to imagine treating my kids the way he proposes is the “right” way. I don’t understand why he thinks this is a good idea. Why do you want to raise children who end up hating you? I think he would see this as a successful parenting career if your kids hate you.


I know that he is all about control. He probably never had any control over his own life, so he felt control when he had his own kids. He finally had someone to control, which made him feel good. How sad for them. And how sad for him that he hasn’t gotten help himself to heal his own wounds. It scares me that people like him are giving advice to parents. Children are people too.  I wouldn’t even treat a pet the way he suggests treating your child. He shows no empathy and emotion at all. He just gives off this persona like he is always in control, and parents should be too. He tries to hide this behind the word “leadership”. As in, parents should show leadership in their roles. By this he means parents should be commanders in their household army. Yuck!!!!!  His parenting philosophy sounds so barbaric and insane to me.  I will never understand nor agree with him.

I am trying to have compassion

When I come across people like him, I find it very difficult to have compassion for him. His behavior is mean and disrespectful. After reading A New Earth, I do understand that his “ego” is way off the charts. His dysfunction very high, but still. I will try to look for some compassion. Are there some people that it is just too difficult to feel compassion for? Hmm, I don’t know. All I know is that I will never pick up one of his books ever again because I let it almost ruin my night! Although I did give my kids a good laugh because I looked up his website to show them his bill of rights, and I may have cussed at the screen a few times!! So, yeah, I really dislike the man’s beliefs, can you tell?lol

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves

Here is an excellent video by Naomi Aldort, who wrote the book, “Raising our children, raising ourselves.” I have it listed under my book section at the top. She is an advocate for respectful, mindful parenting.


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Posted in Connection, Healing & personal growth, Kids/teenagers and depression, Mindful/respectful parenting, Unschooling | 3 Comments »

3 Comments to “He makes me crazy!!!”

  1. Ian Says:

    Yes, this is a difficult one. Although I think it’s better to shine more light than try and beat the darkness with more darkness, it’s essential that you meet danger head-on and deal with it quickly and swiftly.

    It’s like telling your child “no” or “stop” if they are going to touch a hot stove. You’re not being nasty, just being careful. But, of course, your role as a parent is to actively reduce the chance of dangers occurring in the first place, by improving the environment you put your child into (e.g. you wouldn’t have to tell your child “no” all the time, if they weren’t playing in the kitchen when you are making dinner).

    I’m not sure this analogy will extend much further sensibly … but I’ll give it a go anyway. So let’s assume this man and his ideas are dangerous. What can we do other than shout “stop” or “no” at anyone going near them? Well, I guess we need to create an environment where people are less likely to go near them, without getting too angry at the ideas themselves.

    Clearly his ideas are serving some purpose to some people; they read his books for a reason and it’s probably because they are trying to solve some “problem” for themselves. I think if we can show better solutions or find ways to help the problems dissolve on their own (e.g. a parent has a belief that noisy children are bad, which creates a problem until the belief is changed) then we have safely removed the danger from the environment.

    If I had to pick one positive thing to come from this, it would be that, regardless of whether the ideas are right or wrong, or bad or good, or useful or dangerous, John Rosemond is very very useful in helping us identify people (readers of his work) who need our compassion and possibly our assistance. We could try to engage directly with those people and try to understand their situations and why his ideas are appealing.

    If I had to say one positive thing about John himself, it would be that he is doing a good job of identifying situations where better solutions (than his) are needed! Until no one buys his books, it will be clear that more work needs to be done by those with alternative approaches.

  2. peter Says:

    No he doesn’t deserve any compassion. It’s not hard to imagine that he’s literally ruined lives, driven people to suicide even, does he have any compassion for his victims? No otherwise he would stop writing. No mercy for the merciless.

  3. Amie Says:

    Hello Peter,
    I agree this man has ruined lives. He is truly awful. It scares me thinking there are people who take his word as truth. So sad for the babies and children. I can’t even imagine his upbringing. And his children? Ugh, awful. I hope you are well. Thank you for writing. Amie

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