Should I choose fear or courage?

Written by Amie on September 7, 2009 – 1:17 am -

Get ready, get set, freeze

I remember when I was first considering the idea of starting a website/blog to write about my experiences. My intention was to help other people. I remember when my husband helped me get it all set up, and told me I could go ahead and start writing. I froze up, I couldn’t think of one thing to write about! I told him that I wasn’t sure I still wanted to do this writing thing. The website sat there empty for quite some time. I was frozen in fear. I questioned everything about the process. The biggest worry was that people would read what I had to say and think it was stupid. I was worried that what I had to say was of no importance.

The voices of dysfunction

I finally realized that it was the fear talking. I realized that I needed to, “feel the fear, and do it anyway”. ( There is a good book by the same title, btw). I was allowing the fear to control my life. The fear is just another level of those negative voices that run through our heads at times. Those voices of dysfunction that were planted in our heads by the accumulated conditioning we have received throughout our lives. The conditioned voice tries to talk us out of doing things. It likes to stay in the “comfort zone”. The comfort zone only feels comfortable because it is familiar. Fear is like that other person that lives within us. Fear is that negative voice that we have to tell to just shut up. Sure, sometimes it makes me feel like I have multiple personalities when I do this, but, hey, someone has to take over this show! If I let the fear take over, I would be sitting around on my bum quite often wishing that I had the courage to do things.

What if I fail?

If we just sit back and talk ourselves out of things (ie, letting the fear be in control), we can’t possibly grow and change. We stay stuck in the place that we are in. If we let questions such as, “what if I try this and fail?”, or “what if someone thinks it is stupid?” or “what if I choose the wrong path?”, or “what if it ends up being wrong for me?”,  keep us from trying things, then the fear is in control. This means that we will not get to experience things that may have enhanced our lives. We might be stifling our passions because we keep letting the fear tell us not to try. I always have to remind myself that when I feel passionate about something, it is a sign that I need to take a really good look at it and decide if it is something that I should do. Even if it feels scary. Even if someone thinks that what I’m doing is weird or stupid. Who cares what someone else thinks about MY experience?

Oh, another negative pattern?

I noticed yet another pattern in myself this week. The pattern for me has been to question and analyze the hell out of everything! The fear takes over  to the point that I can’t make a decision about whether or not something is right for me. If  my gut feeling is telling me that a certain thing is not right for me, my pattern has been to question why I don’t want to do it. I can’t allow myself to just trust that I really don’t want to do it. THe fear tells me that if it is the best thing for other people, it should be right for me? I keep trying to talk myself into trying something even if my voice is clear about the fact that it isn’t right for me. Not sure if I am clear about what I mean. I allow the fear of thinking I am going to miss out on something take over my process. I get caught in the fear of, “what if’s.”  My inner voice has been questioned and ridiculed by the voice of fear so often that I have to relearn how to trust it. Instead of just deciding that something doesn’t work for me, I question and question about whether or not I am making the right choice. So, basically I am letting fear be in control, because it is making me be scared that I am making “wrong” choice.

courage2 (1)

There is no right or wrong, it is MY experience

Finally, I came to the conclusion that there is no “right” or “wrong” choice. Every single person has a different life experience. In order to make the “right” choice for me, I have to listen to my heart. If I always follow what my heart is telling me, then it will be what is “right” for ME. This is true even if it turns out to be a mistake. At least I made a choice that felt right to me, and I didn’t let the fear take control. I will make mistakes. How do we learn about life if we never take action and try new things, or try things that feel scary? We really can’t create the life we want unless we go past just dipping our toe in the water. We have to take the plunge sometimes, and just see how it goes.

Still nervous, but oh well!

I’m so happy that I took the plunge to write on here! I guess I felt the fear but did it anyway! I still feel nervous at times when I post certain things, but I stay with my feelings, and then let them go. If someone wants to cuss me out or something, I guess I will deal with it if that happens. So far, I have gotten many positive e-mails, and that makes me keep doing what I’m doing. I realize this could change, but if I would have listened to the fear I wouldn’t have had the honor of “meeting” many wonderful people!


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