Accepting or rejecting myself

Written by Amie on December 31, 2009 – 12:31 am -

I’ve known it for a million years!

Here I am two days in a row! I haven’t done that in quite awhile, but I try to write when I am feeling inspired, so here I am. When I am feeling inspired, so many realizations come to me. Even though others before me have already learned some of this stuff, it feels brand new to me when I “get it” and it just clicks like I have known it all for a million years. When I get that feeling, I am reassured that I am connected to all that is. We are all connected, and this deep feeling of inner knowing feels really good.

Accepting what is equals accepting who I am

So, back to my realization of today. I was meditating this morning and it hit me that I am a person who must always try to fix my emotions, or figure out what is going on. I think I wrote about this not too long ago, but again, I write when I feel inspired, so it is possible to repeat myself! LOL  It came to me in my meditation that I can let go of needing to have solutions, answers, etc. When I am able to let go of needing to know these things, I am accepting who I am *right* in this moment. I am not trying to fix things about myself so that I can to the point of being able to *finally* accept who I am. By this I mean if I can accept what is right now, then I am accepting who I am right now. When I try to fix what is or change it somehow, I am in essense rejecting myself and who I am. When I am able to be with what is, then I am also able to be with who I am.

Ms. Fix-it to the rescue

I can see now that by always feeling like something in me needs to be changed or needs to be different, I am saying to myself, “I don’t accept you, you are flawed, and you need to be fixed. I can never accept who you are unless you figure out why you have all of these flaws and figure out a way to fix all that is wrong with you.” So, yeah, I know where this leads. This leads to I will never accept myself. It’s just so interesting to me that when I can let my feelings just flow through me, and stay with them, I accept exactly who I am, and I really love her! When I am in my Ms. Fix-it mode, I completely reject myself. Slowly but surely the tool belt is coming off.

FEEL as you go

We are all exactly where we are supposed to be. I know, that does not feel true at times. But it makes it much easier to live when we can just accept where we are, *FEEL* as we go, let it flow through, and cry or move or write or do whatever we need to do to release the wave of emotion. When I remember that I am not my body, I am not my experiences, and I am not those negative stories going through my mind. The true me is pure love, as is the true you. We have been led to believe that we are our thoughts and experiences and beliefs. Not true. Those were just roadblocks trying to trick us into believing the negative. We are all perfect, exactly as we are, we are all worthy, we are all capable of healing and growing, and we are all here to feel joy and love for ourselves and each other. Say hello to the roadblocks, and then tell them so long.  They are just in the way and their job is over.



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