Thoughts, feelings, and healing

Written by Amie on November 17, 2008 – 12:33 am -

It has taken me years, a very good therapist (one that has done her own healing work), and homeopathic remedies  to realize how to feel. I thought I was feeling. I wasn’t even close! I have suppressed so much, I am shocked. I am grateful for the knowledge that I have now, that helps me know what it feels like in my body to actually get in touch with the truth. So many times I would be in a therapy session and my therapist would tell me about how my thoughts are not always true. Sometimes (most of the time!) they belong to someone else, and I picked them up along the way, and internalized them as my own. On an intellectual level, I understood this. On a cellular (body) level, I couldn’t agree. It FELT like these things I said about myself were true. Wow, was I ever harsh on myself. I would never treat my worst enemy the way I treated myself.

I totally understand why people get stuck in depression, and others don’t understand why they can’t just snap out of it. I felt that way. My brother felt that way. He couldn’t stand it anymore and he committed suicide. I miss him more than words can say, but I understand 100% the pain he was in. I wish he could have gotten the same help I am getting, but he didn’t. Our bodies remember things at a cellular level. The beliefs that are not even ours become part of us on this level. I was really starting to think that this could never be healed. I finally got a feel for what it felt like to be alive and to feel joy. So, I want to give hope to the people that may be thinking that there is no hope. I want to help other people heal so that they don’t end up leaving this world too early like my brother did.  He had a very sensitive soul, and not a day goes by that I don’t miss him.

I strongly recommend a healthy therapist, and homeopathy to everyone suffering from depression. The important thing is using tools that help you to heal on a cellular level, helping you spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I believe 100% that these two things helped me to get to the feeling of true joy-of feeling alive. I was only going through the motions of being alive. Now, I am truly excited to be alive.

I remember how difficult it was, and still is sometimes, to actually know what I was feeling. Someone would ask me, and I would automatically answer with an “I don’t know”. My therapist started asking me a different question, which is “what is alive in you right now?” At first, I went blank. What in the world was she talking about? Then she would ask me if I could feel my feel on the ground, or my hands resting on my legs, etc. Wow, what an awakening! I had never done this before. I am pretty sure I was completely numb, body, mind, and soul. So, this is how my journey of learning how to feel began. It all begins with staying connected to myself. When I disconnect, I become unconscious, and numb. I feel so grateful to be able to know the difference now. Awareness is everything! I wasn’t even aware that I was numb.

Healing can happen no matter what our life experience has been, if we are willing to work hard at getting to our truth. It takes courage to do this, but it is very possible. I didn’t know how strong I really am. Everyone has the power within to heal.

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Posted in Depression, Healing & personal growth, Homeopathy, Kids/teenagers and depression, Self-love | No Comments »

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