Contrast and Depression

Written by Amie on December 13, 2008 – 2:21 am -

I have written before about how I have suffered from depression. For the most part, I no longer have the deep depressions that I have had in the past. I have had some dark days, but I don’t seem to go as far in as in the past, and they don’t seem to last long. I did have a few days last week that I was feeling down, partly because of the anticipation of my brother’s birthday coming up. This will be his second birthday we have celebrated without him since he committed suicide 1 1/2 years ago.

I think we need to have down days in order to see and feel the contrast between happy and joyful days and the dark ones. I notice that I am so much more appreciative of the happy days once I get through a few dark ones. I do believe that having days where we are depressed or days that we feel despair should not be viewed as a bad thing, or a scary thing. I think that they are part of being human, part of the cycle of emotions. Our society seems to want to push these feelings away, or quick, get medication to make them go away. I view them more as something that is pushing us to grow. If we were happy all of the time, I think it might feel mundane, more like we are robots going through the motions of life. I don’t mean that I want to be depressed the same amount of days that I am happy. It would be nice just to have a few periods here and there of feeling down. I am getting better now at seeing my depression as a time to go inward to figure out what is going on inside me. A wake up call so to speak. Something needs my attention. I can either choose to look at it and start looking for ways to help me through it, or I can choose to keep trying to push it away, which makes it gradually get worse.

Feeling the contrast between the good and the bad makes me so grateful when I feel joy. Since I have grown more and done more healing work, I am also able to be appreciative of the depression. I know that it may come back, and it does at times. But, now that I know what feeling good feels like, I know that it always returns. This makes it sound like it is so easy. I do not think it is always easy. I know that some people don’t have the contrast, they only have the darkness. That was my experience for a long time. I honestly questioned whether or not I was capable of feeling good. But then I got a glimmer, so I knew it was possible.

I know now that if I would not have started to work on the issues that were keeping me depressed, and had I not found homeopathy, I would not be in a very good place right now. I believe that going through the possible pain of our experiences is very hard work, but it must be done in order to heal. I also do not believe that depression is genetic. I was always told that my family has a history of depression, and that basically I may as well just get used to the idea of depression. My brother bought into that thought and he is not here today. I do believe that the coping skills and behaviors we learn as children may change our brain chemistry, which can be referred to as the chemical imbalance. This is what is passed on, in my opinion, the coping skills, and the behavior. If generation after generation keeps repeating these coping skills, depression is most definitely passed on, which makes it look genetic. However, I don’t believe this has to be a forever state. I believe with all of my heart that we can heal if we are willing to look at the truth.

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