Basic Needs

Written by Amie on December 17, 2008 – 2:13 am -

One thing that I really have to practice often is trying to name how I am feeling. I started realizing how many times I would use vague “thought” type words instead of really getting in touch with the feelings underneath. Once we can get in touch with the true feelings, it is so much easier to figure out what need is not being met. I made some lists that I hang in various places around the house.

I thought I would share them here, in case it might be something that others want to try. I have mentioned the book called Respectful Parents, Respectful Children based on Non-Violent Communication. It has some helpful lists in it about the basic needs that all of us have and the feelings that are involved.

Some Basic Feelings We All Have:

Feelings when needs ARE fulfilled:

*Amazed *Joyous *Moved
*Confident *Optimistic *Eager
*Energetic *Relieved *Fulfilled
*Glad *Surprised *Hopeful
*Inspired *Touched *Intrigued
*Stimulated *Comfortable *Proud
*Thankful *Trustful

Feelings When Needs ARE NOT fulfilled:

*Angry *Irritated *Embarrassed
*Confused *Nervous *Helpless
*Disappointed *Puzzled *Impatient
*Distressed *Sad *Lonely
*Frustrated *Annoyed *Overwhelmed
*Hopeless *Concerned *Reluctant
*Uncomfortable *Discouraged

Feel A Sense Of Peace

If we can name the feelings we are feeling, and then ask ourselves what we can do to help get our needs met, we begin to be able to feel a sense of peace. Now that I am more aware of naming my own feelings, I am better at helping my kids name their feelings. If my kids are upset, sometimes it doesn’t help if I try to assist them in naming how they are feeling. Sometimes they really just want me to be quiet and just be present with them. They sometimes think it sounds so weird when I try to help them name their feelings. If they are feeling strong emotions, they don’t have the energy to try to name them. So, I wait it out, and we talk about it later. We do talk a lot about our feelings, and how we can express them in a way that helps us to get our needs met.

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