I soothe my pain and I comfort my grief

Written by Amie on January 27, 2014 – 2:01 am -

the little girl 

I wonder how many times I have said to myself that I have let go of hoping things could be different. I think I let go, and then a wave of grief hits to remind me I am human. So I go deeper, deeper into the pain that still lingers at times. I feel. I feel. I feel. And it is painful. Each time I allow myself to feel the deeper pain, I heal that much more. I remember to parent myself. I say things to myself that I wish I would have heard as a little girl. I say the things that remind me I am loved and cared for even if it doesn’t look like what I thought it would look like. I feel and I release the disappointment that there are some people who will never realize the hurt they have caused. I feel the sadness that some people choose to perpetuate the very same behaviors from the past that continue to cause others pain in the present. I nurture myself in the way that soothes the longing just a little bit. I soothe my pain and I comfort my grief. I comfort and protect the little girl within my heart who still wishes for things to be different.  The little girl who wishes she could remember a time when she felt safe as a child. Safe to express who she really was. The little girl who knew she would be protected no matter what. The little girl who always wished to feel adored, who wished for encouragement to be strong and carefree. The little girl who learned to take care of others before herself. The little girl who learned to do things for herself because that was the only choice. The little girl who took everybody else’s needs into account and completely forgot about her own. The little girl who had no idea what healthy meant.

Little Girl Holding Kitten

 she is me and I am her

I keep the little girl tucked safely in my heart. She is free to be who she really is. She is safe. She is protected. She is beautiful and worthy of love. She is my sweet baby girl. She is no longer a victim. She has me now, to support, encourage, protect, love, care for, and cherish her. She doesn’t have to worry anymore about not getting her needs met. She doesn’t have to worry anymore about being taken advantage of. She doesn’t have to hide her true self in hopes that her false self will be loved and accepted. She is safe, strong, capable, wild, free, happy, loved, loving, cherished, capable, worthy, heard, seen, expressive, and she is me. And I am her. We are a team. She will always be safe in my care.

 we all have our own journeys; this is mine and that is theirs

My little girl and I are no longer victims. We get to choose who has the honor of being an important part of our life. My little girl and I decide what we want to do, what feeds our soul, who we want to play with, who we want to talk to, who we want to love, and who is trusted to love us. I own my life, both past and present. I express from my truth. And…..there are times when I just need to feel sad and grieve for what I wish I had. Grieve for the people who choose to look the other way rather than own up to their behaviors. And come back to the understanding that we all have our own journeys; this is mine and that is theirs. And still I allow myself to feel the real feelings that surface when they need to. This is how I own my journey. I accept my path, I accept theirs, and I honor my feelings and my truth. I nurture myself and I take good care of my little girl within.

the more at peace I am

If I am to continue feeling alive and healthy, I must let the little girl in me express herself and I must assure her that she is safe. I do this by practicing self-love and self-nurturing. I nurture myself by nurturing my little girl. Everybody has their own journey, and even though my little girl didn’t receive the love and nurture she needed, I am still very grateful for my life and my experiences. I continue to release the sadness, the grief, the longing; while at the same time I own my life and my experiences. The more I own my truth, the deeper into my soul I am able to go. The deeper I go, the more authentic I am and the more at peace I am. I wouldn’t be who I am, doing what I am doing if it weren’t for my experiences. I know without a doubt, I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing, and letting go more and more each moment. I am loved. And so are you. Always.

 

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Posted in Depression, Grief and dying, healing from depression, Help with depression, Nurture yourself, Self-love | 6 Comments »

6 Comments to “I soothe my pain and I comfort my grief”

  1. J Says:

    This is so beautiful. Thank you for writing this. Instead of looking to others and expecting something, it’s all inside, it’s all within. I think we need others, but it’s so true that we really have our own love. When we have it, then everything is ok.
    Peace

  2. Amie Says:

    Thank you. It is all within, always there to love and support us. I too think we need others, but it is empowering knowing that we can be loved even if someone doesn’t meet our needs for love. When we love ourselves, we can love others and we are able to receive love. Peace to you too. Thank you for writing. 🙂

  3. Just Me Says:

    Dear Amie,
    I just came across your blog. I thank you for sharing such intimate feelings with us. I relate so much to what you say. My intention this yearis to love this little girl in me. To love myself as I am. And your words are inspiring. Thank you!
    Yours in growth,
    Just Me

  4. Amie Says:

    Thank you for writing. I am so happy my blog is inspiring to you. I’m glad you are here. I love your intention.:)

  5. anita cappell Says:

    Hi Amie,
    I love the photo of the little girl and her kitten and how you used it so perfectly to illustrate the little girl inside. I’d like to paint her & her kitten and wonder if you can refer me to the site where you found this wonderful photo. Thank you.
    Anita

  6. Amie Says:

    Hi Anita,
    I got the image off of google images. Beyond that, I’m sorry I don’t have any more definitive answers. I would love to see your painting when its done! Amie

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