More on Mindful Parenting/Living

Written by Amie on February 11, 2009 – 2:47 am -

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Once again, I am amazed at the behaviors that are tolerated in our society. Have we really gotten so far away from our true nature that threatening and coercing a child is considered acceptable? I really should just stay home and never go out into public!  Seriously, I just really want to be an advocate for children’s rights. People are more stressed right now than ever, so I understand the short tempers, but still……it was bad even before now. 

We were in a pet store yesterday, and I heard a women yelling at her child to put that down right now, or else you won’t get….blah blah blah. I picture myself saying this to my husband, and I just laugh! Ok, so there are some partners that probably do treat each other this way. Maybe? I wish that people could just stop for one minute, and take a breath before they say anything to their child when they are feeling stressed. One minute to just ask the question, “if this were my husband/wife/ partner/friend, would I say the same thing to them?” If the answer if no, then don’t say it to your child!  

Some other questions to  ask before trying to coerce a child to do what you think they “should” be doing. 

1. Am I taking into account the child’s needs, or only mine?

2. Am I trying to prove to the (strangers) around me that I can control my child so as not to look inept in public?

3. Am I being compassionate or am I treating my child with disrespect?

4. Am I acting in the same way that I was treated as a child? Did I like the treatment when I was a child? Why am I doing the same thing to my child if I remember how it felt as a child?

That is a start.  I believe awareness of these actions is a great first step. Asking questions of ourselves is a great tool. Sticking with the philosophy of, “I was treated that way, and I turned out fine,” is a cop out. (Not to mention questionable!) It is not taking responsibilty for our own actions. I believe that in order to have a healthy relationship with our children, we must work on our own personal growth. We have to look at those dark places within us so that we can become healthier, and so that our children can learn healthy behavior from us. I believe that everyone loves their children, and everyone wants them to be healthy and happy. Beyond that, it takes hard work to focus on ourselves. When we grow and get healthier, our children grow healthier!

These public displays of disrespect always get me going! I do realize that this is a passion of mine. I will continue to advocate for the rights of children…and I just may start a revolution! Liberate the children!

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