Saying Yes to Yourself

Written by Amie on March 21, 2009 – 12:27 pm -


Our Healing Work

When we work on healing ourselves, we are blessed with the gift of awareness.  Everyone has things to heal. One of the things I learned about myself during this process is that I told myself no quite often. I believe that for some of us, it becomes a habit to tell ourselves no to things. I found that most of the time, my reason for saying no to myself didn’t even make sense. I was able to come up with many reasons why I couldn’t have something, or why I shouldn’t do something, but most of the reasons made no sense!  When my kids were much younger, and my husband and I were just learning about gentle, mindful parenting, we learned how to say yes more often to our children.  In the process, I learned how to say yes more often to myself. It seems like it shouldn’t be that difficult to do, but for me, it really was. 

Conditioned Responses

I am wondering how often most people won’t allow themselves to say yes. For me, it has been helpful to question all of the responses I give myself, in the same way I did when I first started learning about gentle, mindful parenting.We all deserve to be told yes. What stops us? The reason for saying no to ourselves probably looks different for each of us. I believe that most of the time, it is a conditioned response, and has not been questioned as to why we respond that way.

Self Judgment

If you would like to try a painting class, or learn to play the piano, or maybe you need 10 minutes a day to meditate, just do it!  Say yes, and see how that feels in your body. The judgments may start when you say yes, this is just the ego in you, getting nervous that you are changing things. If you notice judgments that come to your thoughts, just watch them. You can write them down, but don’t follow them in your mind. See if you can just watch them, and then release them. Sometimes it is helpful to write down or type out  the judgments so that you can actually see in writing what is going through your head. 

Write them out

Once the judgments are written out,  we are then able to question if the reasons why we say no really make any sense. Is there a reasonable answer, or is it something we made up along the way? Do we really not have time to take that class, or is that something we just tell ourselves? I remind myself that these judgments are not me, that are just thoughts and they are not true.


Becoming Aware

Once we become aware of how our thoughts affect the way we treat ourselves, we can start to heal and change. So, just start with one hour, or one day, and notice how often you tell yourself no. Then, explore these things and see if you can determine why you are telling yourself no. It was eye opening for me!

I started a discussion on the forum about saying yes to ourselves, please feel free to join in!


Posted in Healing & personal growth, Nurture yourself, Self-love | 1 Comment »

One Comment to “Saying Yes to Yourself”

  1. bmpotts Says:

    Hi Amie, I just wanted to tell you that I love your website. It seems as though we are on the same path. Now that I have started to exercise and spring is here I am feeling motivated to get up and breath. Its time to come out of hibernation.

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