Let your emotions out, people!

Written by Amie on October 8, 2009 – 1:06 am -

The movie The Invention of Lying

I saw a movie tonight called The Invention Of  Lying. It was nothing like I thought it would be, and I am still trying to figure out exactly what I thought of it! I walked away scratching my head, but at the same time, it got my wheels spinning. The short of it was nobody knew how to lie. Until one day a man discovered lying. He was the only one who knew how to lie. Everybody believed every single thing  people said to them. Most of the people seemed depressed and lonely, which is another conversation in itself. One thing I thought about after the movie was how easy it is to believe everything that is said to us personally.  We are born not knowing how to lie, or to exaggerate the truth. Soon, we learn telling the truth doesn’t always get us a positive response, so lying begins. We start to believe what others tell us about ourselves, yet we learn to doubt the messages inside us, the ones telling us the truth about ourselves. The stories don’t match up, but yet we keep hearing the external messages so often we soon forget to listen to the internal connection we have.

Are you telling the truth?

The movie was a catalyst for pondering, no doubt. It also made me think about the people that are smiling saying everything is great, but really suffering in silence. There was a guy in the movie that was depressed and suicidal. Since he couldn’t lie, he just came right out and talked about it. This struck a chord with me because my brother did commit suicide. I knew that he was suffering, but had no idea how badly. This makes me wonder so many things. The biggest thing I wonder is why in the world are people taught that sharing their truth with others is somehow a bad thing?  We are taught that having any kind of emotions is really not OK. You do that in private, by yourself. Suffer in silence. Kids are sent to time out because they are showing emotion. Maybe in the form of a temper tantrum, but that is the only way they know how to express how frustrated they are! So from a young age, many people are taught that expressing their emotions is bad, and it also makes them weak. Expressing emotions is something that can be bothersome to others. I wonder how many people are walking around suffering? I can’t even imagine the amount.

liv shouting

Let your emotions out people!

So, I am here to say, “let your emotions out people!!” I say this with a smile! Seriously, what do we have to lose? Fight those voices that are telling you something is wrong with you, or the voices telling you how lazy you are or the voices asking, “how could you do that”? I say tell those voices to go jump in a lake without a life jacket. Corny? Sure, but you have to have a sense of humor when you talk to the voices in your head, they are not always rational!   As nice as it is to  get gifts, I don’t want anymore dysfunctional gifts, thank you very much. So, here is something to remember, if someone tries to give you a negative message or belief, you can say thanks, but no thanks, even if you say it just to yourself.

Messages you were born with

Here are some of the messages that I want to be coursing through my mind, and ones I put there myself when I need to feel nurtured. At this point, I am beyond caring how this sounds! I know I can’t be the only one out there who needs to hear nurturing beliefs. When I was part of a women’s healing circle, we each came up with things we needed to hear. So, hopefully this will be a gift to you that you can take in and let in to your belief system. The thoughts we were born with that got drowned out. I am saying these to you even though I can’t see you, but I hope that you can feel them. Let them sink in to your cells. Make up your own. Write down things you really need to hear, and say them out loud to yourself.

The truth

You are perfect exactly as you are. I hear you. I see you. I believe you. Who you are is what matters most. I care about you. I respect you. I love you for who you are. I support you. This is just a start……what do you need to hear from the voices inside your head?

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What do I need in this moment?

Written by Amie on July 24, 2009 – 12:23 am -

Who has Needs?

The first time I really ever considered this question was about two years ago when I started doing some deep healing work. Prior to that, I had never even considered what I needed. I just continued to do what I thought I “should” be doing, or what I thought was “the right thing”. I am much more in tune with my needs now, but I still have to remind myself and ask myself, what do I need right now? It is amazing the answers that come to me now! I can remember a time when I would hear someone say that they needed to take some time to be alone, or they needed time to process feelings. I thought they were speaking a foreign language. I could not, for the life of me, figure out how they actually knew what they needed! I can remember my all too often response of, “I don’t care”, or “I don’t know” when someone would ask what I wanted to do, or what I like.

A Whole New World

It was like a whole new world opened up to me once I started acknowledging that I have needs. Acknowledging my needs,and actually trying to get them met are two very different things. This was a very difficult thing for me to practice. At first, I felt guilty even having needs! Then I felt selfish having needs. I finally allowed myself to believe that if I am human, I must have needs! This evolved into honoring the fact that we all have needs, and that mine should be honored as well!  It takes practice.  I still have to remind myself often, but I am at the point where I can voice what I need, knowing that I may or may not have the need met. It has been quite a process (that I am still working on!), to get to the point of voicing my needs. I expect everyone to have needs, but I never left room for ME to have needs. Wow, no wonder depression seeps into my life. Repressing needs is a huge depression magnet. It sends the message that we are not worthy or important enough to have our needs considered.

You Are Worthy

Process Evolving

My process has been evolving over the last few years. I can now open up a tiny bit of space before making a decision, or considering if I want to do something or participate in something, etc. I am able to stop, take a few breaths, and check in with myself. I ask myself if the situation feels good to me right then. When I listen to my gut instinct, my answer is obvious. When I try to consider what someone wants me to do, the water gets cloudy. So, I practice listening to that voice inside first. I will come to a conclusion, and then I can decide if I want to do something, say something, etc. There have been times when I will decide to do something even if I don’t want to. If, for example, I know that the person would be overly joyful, then I might choose to decide to do it for them as a gift. I am jsut so happy that I am to the point where I know that I always have a choice, and that I do have needs.

Honoring Ourselves

So many of us have been taught to be the “good little girl/boy”, or “be nice”. It is no wonder that we won’t take our own needs into consideration, or that our needs are so far buried that we have forgotten that we even have any needs. I have learned once again, that I can’t truly give anything to anybody if I am not also honoring myself.   Of course there are times when we need to step up to help others without considering ourselves first, this is not what I am talking about. I am talking about really honoring ourselves the same way we would honor others. Our needs deserve the same consideration as others.  I am still in shock that I didn’t even know I had needs beyond the basic food, sleep, etc. Wow, what a process this has been! I guess I will have to write another post about honoring ourselves enough to find ways to get at least some of our needs met!

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