Words and power

Written by Amie on August 5, 2009 – 1:17 am -

Caution: Random thoughts and pondering ahead!

So I am re-reading A New Earth again. It’s about the tenth time. Every time I read it I find new ideas to ponder. I was reading the section about how we give labels to ourselves, to objects, to things. This does come in handy for explaining ideas and objects and for communicating with each other. However, Tolle  also brings up the point that words really are just sounds. Okay, yeah, I got that. But then I really started thinking about that. Here we are describing everything about ourselves with words that we give so much power to. Words that are really just sounds strung together that have the power to make us feel bad about ourselves or about situations. Sure, there can also be memories that are bringing up these thoughts, but in the end, they really are stories made up from words. When we have feelings in our bodies or when emotions come up,  we attach words and stories to them, and then we fall hook, line, and sinker into the story. We believe these stories. I am saying this so that we feel bad about ourselves for falling into this pattern, I am just noticing what happens in myself.

Intuition

I wonder what it was like before we were capable of attaching thought to the whole process of being human. I wonder what it would be like to really be able to be in the moment at all times like Tolle’s book The Power of Now describes. What would it be like to live strictly from feeling instead of thinking?  I have experienced what it is like to make decisions based on how I feel, but it is difficult to do that all of the time. I guess that’s why it is called a practice!  It just amazes me how our stories really can keep us stuck in negative vibrations. If we let the story in our heads be alive in the moment, we are sucked right into the story as if it is happening to us in this moment. There are days when I am constantly coming back to my breath. That is the only thing besides mediation that brings me back to the now. When I am in the “black hole” of a story, I have to come back to my breath with every breath I take!

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My practice

So, back to the idea of words. I am making it my practice for the next few days to just look at things without giving them a name. I saw a “bird” today, and I was really able to see it in a different light. I was fascinated watching it. For explanation purposes I have to use a description here! I noticed the sharp beak, the stick legs, the wings, etc. It became so much more of a miracle to me than when I just glance at a bird and say, oh yeah, there is a bird. I think this satisfies the brain’s habit of needing to put a label on something, so we are used to just going on our way once we “know” something. Anyway, I guess where I am going with this whole pondering is that our minds are so powerful when we allow them to take over with play by play words and thoughts and beliefs. When I am able to stay in the moment, the stories get drown out. It really does feel freeing when my mind is clear.

Our brains are powerful

This probably sounds a bit incoherent, but that’s just where I am today. It fascinates me to realize how powerful our brains are, and how they have so much going on at once. So much of our lives seem like such an illusion. We are buying into these stories that we tell ourselves, therefore creating an illusion of what we “think” is going on. What does it take to step out of this illusion? I think that once we become aware of the fact that most of the thoughts in our heads are really just stories, we begin to step out of the illusion. I mean, think of how many times we make up a story about what we *think* is going on either with someone we are witnessing, or with ourselves. Someone says something to us or a situation happens, and we instantly put a story to it, and we believe it with 100% conviction!  For me, this gives me great hope that we are powerful enough to tell ourselves whatever stories we want to tell ourselves, and we can believe them too. If our minds are capable of believing negative stuff, why not positive?  Which leads me into the Law of Attraction, which I wholeheartedly believe in. A post for another day.  Happy Pondering and positive vibrations to you all!

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Listen to your body, and then trust the healing process

Written by Amie on April 20, 2009 – 1:36 am -

Dealing with depression

I want to share a few thoughts about dealing with depression, in case it  might help someone else who is struggling. This past week I had a few days of feeling depressed. In the past, I went months at a time of feeling depressed. So, the first thing I want to mention is that there is hope that you can feel better, and that it is possible to heal from depression.  I was reminded this week of how I get really frustrated when I am depressed. When I am feeling good, reading certain books on depression help me. However, when I am not feeling so good, reading books or listening to books makes me feel angry and hopeless, like there is nothing that can make me feel better.  Overall, books have helped me tremendously, but there are times when I am in a “funk”, that I want to throw them out the window. These are the times when my emotions get too big to stay in my body! These are the times when I feel as if nothing will help me feel better, so reading a book just feels like a waste of time. I know now that things always change, so I start feeling better, and I start reading again, and I go back to trusting the process.

Action helps

Over the years, I have learned that I need to “do” something in order to feel better. There was a time when I would just sit in the struggle, hating the feelings, and wishing for the feelings to go away. This did not help at all. In fact, doing this made me feel much worse. Trying to push the feelings away magnified the feelings. So, what I have learned is that I need to move my body, or I need to meditate, cry,or I need to yell and punch a pillow. I have learned from experience and from my therapist, that emotions need to move. By resisting them, they grow and they get stuck in my body. If I move my body while also acknowledging what part of my body feels anxious or depressed, the emotions move, and I get some relief. When I am feeling stuck, I move my body by either dancing, walking, or exercising my body in some way. After I do that, I meditate. Sometimes I meditate first, it just depends on how my body feels. If I feel like I am a volcano ready to explode, I move my body until I feel a shift of energy. 

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Shift 

The other really important thing I have learned is that I don’t always have to know WHY I am feeling the way I feel. It doesn’t always matter. I can make myself feel even more frustrated by trying to figure out the reason I am feeling depressed. Sometimes we get triggered and our minds don’t know why, but our bodies know. The cells in our bodies have memory, so it is possible for our bodies to remember, but our minds don’t. There was a time that this used to drive me crazy, and it still does sometimes! I just needed to know why I felt a certain way. So for me, I try to connect in with my body to see where I am feeling the feeling. Do I feel a “knot” in my stomach, or do I have a headache? If I focus on where the emotion is in my body, I am able to help it move faster. Many times after moving my body, I will realize the reason I was feeling stuck. Other times, I will feel better,but not know the reason. For me, letting go of the need to know WHY has been a very important part of the healing process.

Depression more widespread

So many of us have been taught to push away our emotions. I believe this is one of the reasons why depression has skyrocketed and anxiety is part of our everyday conversation. We have so many stored, repressed emotions living in our bodies that we become anxious and depressed. We get triggered by things that happen, and we feel a dread in our body. Our body is trying to release the feelings, but we keep trying to make it go away by distracting ourselves or trying to act as though it isn’t a big deal. Pretty soon, our bodies can’t take it anymore, and we become depressed and it doesn’t want to go away. Depression is our body’s way of screaming to us that something needs to be looked at and released, or changed. I am still learning to trust in my healing process. Since I had been depressed for quite awhile, I had to remember that it would not disappear over night. Each time I connect in with my depression, I heal more and more.

I am exactly where I am supposed to be

This has been one of the most difficult lessons for me to learn. I always want to rush my healing, or be farther along in my healing process. I try to come back to this mantra: I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. All Is Well, Trust The Process.

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