Let your emotions out, people!

Written by Amie on October 8, 2009 – 1:06 am -

The movie The Invention of Lying

I saw a movie tonight called The Invention Of  Lying. It was nothing like I thought it would be, and I am still trying to figure out exactly what I thought of it! I walked away scratching my head, but at the same time, it got my wheels spinning. The short of it was nobody knew how to lie. Until one day a man discovered lying. He was the only one who knew how to lie. Everybody believed every single thing  people said to them. Most of the people seemed depressed and lonely, which is another conversation in itself. One thing I thought about after the movie was how easy it is to believe everything that is said to us personally.  We are born not knowing how to lie, or to exaggerate the truth. Soon, we learn telling the truth doesn’t always get us a positive response, so lying begins. We start to believe what others tell us about ourselves, yet we learn to doubt the messages inside us, the ones telling us the truth about ourselves. The stories don’t match up, but yet we keep hearing the external messages so often we soon forget to listen to the internal connection we have.

Are you telling the truth?

The movie was a catalyst for pondering, no doubt. It also made me think about the people that are smiling saying everything is great, but really suffering in silence. There was a guy in the movie that was depressed and suicidal. Since he couldn’t lie, he just came right out and talked about it. This struck a chord with me because my brother did commit suicide. I knew that he was suffering, but had no idea how badly. This makes me wonder so many things. The biggest thing I wonder is why in the world are people taught that sharing their truth with others is somehow a bad thing?  We are taught that having any kind of emotions is really not OK. You do that in private, by yourself. Suffer in silence. Kids are sent to time out because they are showing emotion. Maybe in the form of a temper tantrum, but that is the only way they know how to express how frustrated they are! So from a young age, many people are taught that expressing their emotions is bad, and it also makes them weak. Expressing emotions is something that can be bothersome to others. I wonder how many people are walking around suffering? I can’t even imagine the amount.

liv shouting

Let your emotions out people!

So, I am here to say, “let your emotions out people!!” I say this with a smile! Seriously, what do we have to lose? Fight those voices that are telling you something is wrong with you, or the voices telling you how lazy you are or the voices asking, “how could you do that”? I say tell those voices to go jump in a lake without a life jacket. Corny? Sure, but you have to have a sense of humor when you talk to the voices in your head, they are not always rational!   As nice as it is to  get gifts, I don’t want anymore dysfunctional gifts, thank you very much. So, here is something to remember, if someone tries to give you a negative message or belief, you can say thanks, but no thanks, even if you say it just to yourself.

Messages you were born with

Here are some of the messages that I want to be coursing through my mind, and ones I put there myself when I need to feel nurtured. At this point, I am beyond caring how this sounds! I know I can’t be the only one out there who needs to hear nurturing beliefs. When I was part of a women’s healing circle, we each came up with things we needed to hear. So, hopefully this will be a gift to you that you can take in and let in to your belief system. The thoughts we were born with that got drowned out. I am saying these to you even though I can’t see you, but I hope that you can feel them. Let them sink in to your cells. Make up your own. Write down things you really need to hear, and say them out loud to yourself.

The truth

You are perfect exactly as you are. I hear you. I see you. I believe you. Who you are is what matters most. I care about you. I respect you. I love you for who you are. I support you. This is just a start……what do you need to hear from the voices inside your head?

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The nine types of people

Written by Amie on September 10, 2009 – 1:09 am -

The Enneagram

I thought it would be fun, and hopefully helpful to you to talk about something called The Enneagram. I had never heard of it until a few years ago when my therapist introduced it to me. The Enneagram is a way of understanding different personality types. It helps us learn more about ourselves. It shows us typical patterns, such as our motivations and desires. I find it really interesting, and hope that you will as well. Learning about the different types of personalities helped me to learn more about myself, and also more about my family and friends.

“The Enneagram Made Easy”, by Renee Baron and Elizabeth Wagele

I will give you a quick definition for each of the types, and then you can read more on your own, and look at Youtube videos that give more in depth information. The explanations that I will share come from a book called, “The Enneagram Made Easy”, by Renee Baron and Elizabeth Wagele. The nine types are: (One) The Perfectionist, (Two)The Helper, (Three) The Achiever, (Four) The Romantic, (Five) The Observer, (Six)The Questioner, (Seven) The Adventurer, (Eight) The Asserter, and (Nine) The Peacemaker. There are also three “centers”, which correspond to the three centers of the body; the heart, the head, and the gut. The twos, threes, and fours are the heart ,or feeling center. The fives, sixes, and sevens are the head or thinking center. And the eights, nines, and ones are the gut or instinctive center. Most of the time, one of the types will jump right out at you, and you will feel confident that the one that jumped out is your type. In some cases, you might not be able to decipher between a few of them.

enneagram-people

Here is a brief description of each one.

The Perfectionist is, “motivated by the need to live life the right way, improve yourself and others, and avoid anger.” A personality inventory for a one is, “I like to be organized and orderly. It is difficult for me to be spontaneous,I often feel guilty about not getting enough accomplished, I don’t like it when people break rules, incorrect grammar and spelling bother me a lot, I often compare myself with others, I worry almost constantly, I love making every detail perfect.”

The Helper is, “motivated by the need to be loved and appreciated, to express your positive feelings toward others, and to avoid being seen as needy. A personality inventory for a two is, “I want people to feel comfortable coming o me for guidance and advice, relationships are more important to me than almost anything, sometimes I feel overburdened by people’s dependence on me, I have trouble asking for what I need, I am very sensitive to criticism, sometimes I feel a deep sense of loneliness.”

The Achiever is, ” motivated by the need to be productive, to achieve success, and to avoid failure. A personality inventory for a three is is, “I’m almost always busy, I don’t mind being asked to work overtime, I hate to see jobs undone, I go full force until I get the job done, I have an optimistic attitude, I’m not interested in talking a lot about my personal life, I can’t understand people who are bored, I never run out of things to do, I like to stand out in some way.”

The Romantic is, “motivated by the need to understand your feelings and to be understood, to search for the meaning of life, and to avoid being ordinary.  A personality inventory for a four is,  “Being understood is very important to me, my friends say they enjoy my warmth and my different way of looking at things, I can become nonfunctional for hours, days, or weeks when I’m depressed, I am very sensitive to critical remarks and feel hurt at the tiniest slight, my ideals are very important to me, I place great importance on my intuition, I try to control people at times.”

The Observer is, “motivated by the need to know everything and understand the universe, to be self-sufficient and left alone, and to avoid not having the answer or looking foolish. A personality inventory for a five is, “I learn from observing or reading as opposed to doing, it’s hard to express my feelings in the moment, I get lost in my interests and like to be alone with them for hours, conforming is distasteful to me, brash loud people offend me, I sometimes feel shy or awkward, I get tired when I am with people for too long, I feel different from most people.”

The Questioner is, “motivated by the need to receive approval, to feel taken care of, and to avoid being seen as rebellious. A personality inventory for the six is, “I am nervous around certain authority figures, I am often plagued by doubt, I takes things too seriously, I can be a very hard worker, My friends think of me as loyal, supportive, and compassionate, I like predictability, I dislike pretension in people, I can support people through thick and thin, I have sabotaged my own success.”

The Adventurer is, “motivated by the need to be happy and plan fun things, to contribute to the world, and to avoid suffering and pain. A personality inventory for a seven is, “I enjoy life. I am generally uninhibited and optimistic, I don’t like being made to feel obligated or beholden, I often take verbal or physical risks, I usually manage to get what I want, I value quick wit, I am often at ease in groups,I love excitement and travel,I can make great sacrifices to help people.”

The Asserter is, “motivated by the need to be self-reliant and strong, to make an impact on the world, and to avoid being weak. A personality inventory for the eight is, “I can’t stand being used or manipulated, I am an individualist and a nonconformist, i respect people who stand up for themselves, i fight for what is right, making decisions is not difficult for me, I support the underdog, i will do to any lengths to protect those I love, self-reliance and independence are important, i have overindulged in food or drugs.”

The Peacemaker is, “motivated by the need to keep the peace, merge with others, and avoid conflict. A personality inventory for the nine is, “I often feel in union with nature and people, making choices can be very difficul, I can see the advantages and disadvantages of every situation, I have trouble getting rid of things,when there is unpleasantness going on around me, I just try to think about something else for awhile, I tend to put things off until the last minute but I almost always get them done.”

Just a brief outline

This is just a very brief outline of the different types. The book I mentioned is a very easy read, and it gives you examples on how to get along with the different types, etc. There is a lot more to it than the brief descriptions. To me, it is another tool that I can use to become more aware of myself and my needs. The book is listed  on my website at the top under,  “Healing Books”.  It is listed on the last page of the bookstore. Have fun! I also added a video under “featured video”, on The Enneagram Part 1, giving a more in depth explanation.

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