The other side of depression….feeling alive again

Written by Amie on October 6, 2011 – 2:40 am -

Your depression can be healed

I keep sitting down to write and then I can’t seem to finish. I am going to try again! A friend of mine helped me see that I may be having a difficult time writing because I no longer suffer from depression. This is an incredible gift! This site began because it helped me to write about my journey with depression. So, maybe I just need to change the focus a bit. First of all, I want you to know that *your* depression can be healed. I promise you that. As long as you are willing to do the work, you can feel better. I feel so grateful for the way I feel right now. I honestly can say I have never felt better in my life. I have never felt this alive ever before. It is so obvious to me now that I was completely shut down for most of my life. I was depressed for many years. So, here I am….really feeling fantastic! Please don’t read that and get discouraged if you are feeling horrible right now. I remember feeling horrible and then reading something positive and just wanting to punch the screen. I would mumble under my breath some pretty nasty remarks to the person who was feeling good. I know, pretty helpful, huh? So, please stay with me here, and keep reading. My intention for this website has not changed. I truly want to help others who are suffering. I want to share the things that have gotten me to this much healthier place.

Homeopathy

I must give homeopathy a huge shout out because I believe that without it, I might still be struggling. I was very very depressed. I thought I was as low as I could go. I was wrong. My brother committed suicide. There was a lower place than where I was. I honestly didn’t think I could pull myself out of it. But, I did. With the help of an incredible therapist, an incredible homeopath, the best friends ever, family support (which is difficult when you are all suffering from the same trauma), and some other tools. However, the fuel for my recovery was homeopathy. It helped ignite my life force. It wasn’t fast and it wasn’t always easy, but it was the best thing I have ever done. And believe me, I have tried so many avenues. I knew that antidepressants were not an option this time. I realized that I had to *feel* and not try to push away my truth. Homeopathy fit the bill. It helped me to do all of the other things that have been instrumental in my healing. E-mail me if you need a recommendation for a homeopath.

I woke up!

The fact that you are searching the Internet and the fact that you landed here tells me that you are awakening. This is the most exciting thing ever!!! If you stay with yourself, and allow yourself to *feel*, you will heal your depression. Waking up is the beginning. Knowing that you don’t want to suffer anymore is key. Seeing things for what they truly are, and seeing people in your life for who they truly are keeps you moving on the path of awakening. My soul woke me up. The birth of my children began the process for me. I saw in them what I was missing in my life. The love I showered on them was the love I missed growing up. Their birth awakened something deep deep inside me. I was able to *feel* the giant hole inside me that needed to be filled. As time went on, I continued to grow. I continued to see things more clearly. I saw people in a different light. The most important thing is that I was truthful with myself. I started finally telling myself the truth of  what I felt and what I needed and what I like and dislike. This was huge! I had to learn how to allow all of this without holding on to the guilt and shame that was attached to it. 

I love myself now!

This is the most incredible feeling in the world! I can honestly say I am completely in love with myself now. And I do not feel an ounce of guilt saying that! It began with learning to nurture myself. I learned to do things that fed my soul, my spirit. I learned to tell people no! I learned to stay away from people who didn’t feed the goodness in me. Was it easy? Hell no!!!! But am I stronger? Hell yes!!! Do I know for sure I am a strong empowered woman? Hell yes!!!! It takes work. It takes learning to talk back to the voice inside your head that is feeding you lies. Trust me, the voices are not you! They are lies. Loving myself feels so wonderful, I can’t describe it. I meditate every day. I feel out of sorts without it. I exercise at least 5 days a week. All of these things happened because I was ready. I do not push myself to do any of it. It all comes natural now. I crave doing things that feel good. And, back to homeopathy-it is the driving force. I believe these things all come naturally to me now because I am more in balance mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. There is so much more, but I must go to sleep.

Contact me with questions, as I am truly here to help

 

You are love….you have the answers you need right inside you…..dig through the old lies and stories to re-discover the truth you were born with…..you are a beautiful soul…..you deserve to be here…..you deserve to feel joy every day……let go of the old stuff you have carried around for years…..question every single thing you tell yourself…..only keep it if you know it to be 100% true….that means you have to prove that it is true! Do something for yourself that feels good…right now….love…

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Posted in Awareness, Depression, Healing & personal growth, Homeopathy, Meditation, Nurture yourself | 8 Comments »

Recovering a missing link

Written by Amie on November 12, 2009 – 2:06 am -

Someone there to just BE with me

How many of us really feel nurtured, I wonder? There are things like taking time to ourselves and doing things that feel good to us, but when it comes right down to it, is there a way for you to feel nurtured when you need it? By this I mean, is there someone who will just hold you in their arms and be present for you? Is there someone who will not give any advice (unless you want it), but just simply BE there for you? How often does that happen?I realize maybe adults don’t need this everyday, but really, isn’t there a deep sense of connection and intimacy missing in general?  I am excluding partners/husbands/wives in this, because hopefully these relationships do have this connection for most people. I am thinking of women having deep, strong, connecting relationships and men having deep, vulnerable, connecting relationships?

freehug

Being vulnerable

In my last post, I mentioned a time when my therapist held me while I sobbed. That was almost 3 years ago when my brother died. It is etched in my brain as being a very nurturing, deep connecting experience. I was at my therapist’s again last night, and I hadn’t been there in about a month. Anyway, I was catching her up on my life, when suddenly I came upon a deep sadness and grief in my body. While trying to explain what was going on for me, I told her that I thought it was sad that I am 44 years old and I don’t have too many memories of really feeling nurtured. I definitely have some, like my friends being with me on my brother’s birthday(the first one after he died). I don’t want this to sound like I am sitting around feeling sorry for myself, that’s not it at all. My therapist offered to sit with me last night and let me cry on her shoulder. It was exactly what I needed. My body relaxed, and I cried until there were no more tears. I was just surprised to notice how much it felt like an instinctual need, but yet I never would have thought to ask her to sit with me and hold me while I cried.  I wonder how many times people are blocking or ignoring this deep need?

Don’t touch, get out of my personal space

So, this is where my pondering comes in! I was thinking about how so many people have so much going on, and how so many people have been taught to ignore or feel guilty about their needs and wants. It is part of being human to need and crave connection with people who love us and who we love. We have been taught to just keep going, keep moving, don’t stop because there is so much to do. The human element has been eliminated out of so many interactions with each other. Kids are taught that they shouldn’t touch each other(in a healthy way I mean), we are taught that everyone has their “personal space”. Sure, we do need our personal space, but to what extreme?  Many people learn to go against what their instincts are telling them, and ignore the fact that they need healthy contact with loved ones. There are so many mixed messages sent about what is appropriate, or what is a healthy boundary etc. I guess I am just feeling sad that it feels like we are missing such a huge part of connection and intimacy with one another. It is not surprising to me that depression is so rampant in the world. We are missing the vulnerable, connecting, loving parts of our humanity.

Being present for others

I look at the relationship I have with my kids, and it is so easy for me to BE there for them and with them. I make it a priority to be present with them. Of course I don’t always succeed, but I sure set the intention everyday. I wonder why we make it such a priority to be this for our children, but we block the need in ourselves. Being present for one another includes being there to comfort and nurture each other. It is such a gift to someone when we are able to be there and wrap them up in a comforting loving hug with no strings attached. To just be there for them because they need it and you have it to offer. This can be a very difficult thing for some people to ask for. I know it is not something I am able to ask for most of the time, but boy if someone close to me offers it when I need it, I fall easily into their presence. Being present means to really “be there”, emotionally and physically if that is what is needed. There are so many layers to us, and to me it seems like so many of our layers have been shut down for so long. I just keep picturing a big circle of women singing, hugging, laughing, crying, and just BEing together, for each other. I picture a group of men being able to cry with each other, hug one another, be vulnerable without worrying about what other men think of them, and asking for help from others when they need it. We are all vulnerable, and the way our world is set up right now discourages us from just BEing, just BEing human with and for each other. I am setting an intention to be more present with others, and maybe even offering my physical nurturing if it seems someone needs it. Most importantly, I want to be able to be a conscious presence for others, and I want to be ok with their emotional pain. If they cry when I hold them, I want to be there to just be a conscious loving presence for them. I hope I am also able to ask someone to just BE with me when I need it.

One Hug At A Time

I think we can change the world starting with one present, loving, nurturing hug at a time. Let’s be vulnerable and not worry about what someone “might” think about it. ((((((((((((Hugs to ALL!!!! ))))))))))))

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Beautiful song, Landslide sung by beautiful chidren!

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