Feeling negative emotional energy from others can affect your sense of self-love

Written by Amie on November 3, 2009 – 1:23 am -

Not the greatest idea ever

I think I have finally figured out the reason my dog was brought into my life. Let me start with saying he has been quite a challenge for the past 3 1/2 years! We brought him home less than a week after we had to put our beloved dog Mikka down because she had bone cancer. Needless to say, bringing Owen home was an emotional decision. We were feeling so sad about losing Mikka, we thought bringing home a puppy would help. Someone we knew just happened to have a puppy who needed a good home. Long story short, it was not the best idea we have ever had!  I have been questioning the decision quite often since he has been here.

A challenge?

I vacillated between thinking he was with us for a reason, and we just plain made a mistake. I have read so many stories about how pets can help us become more aware of ourselves, and they help us to grow and heal. That all sounded great, but I still couldn’t see why Owen was brought into our lives. I thought maybe it was because I needed a challenge in my life! I thought maybe it was because I needed to exercise more (which is true!). Maybe he is here to teach me that training a dog is not always easy. No, that is not the main reason. Literally, we have almost gotten rid of Owen multiple times. He is a fearful dog, as I mentioned in another recent post. Therefore, he is very high maintenance. He needs almost constant attention. We have to be mindful of what he is confronted with. Did I mention that I have twins, and I have complained to my husband many times that Owen felt like more work than triplets would be?

Being fearful and sensitive is not a flaw

When I finally “got it” that he is a sensitive and fearful dog, and these qualities are not a flaw, something shifted in our house. When I started treating him with more compassionate kindness, a shift happened. He isn’t as annoying, he doesn’t feel like such a handful. He looks at me as though he understands me. I look at him as though he is a scared child, and I am able to have an enormous amount of compassion for him. Before this shift happened, I kept telling myself that I loved him and I would miss him if we gave him away, but I didn’t *feel* that way. I only said it because I felt guilty admitting the truth, which was that I really didn’t love him much because he was a pain in the butt!  He felt the negative emotional energy around him, and acted accordingly. He tried really hard to get our attention. Then, I got it, and I shifted myself to a place of understanding. This made him react differently, or at least it feels that way!  He is still fearful, but not as much a pain in the butt. My negative energy shifted. I think my words and my feelings match up now. I really do love him and know that he is a sweetheart underneath the fear.

girl & dog cropped

I see myself

The biggest revelation I had was how I can see my own traits in him. He was trying very hard to show me that I needed to be compassionate with myself! He taught me that I can love myself- my fearfulness and my sensitivity included. I am not flawed. Even though my perseption of myself was always that I was flawed, it is just not true. It was my perception because I was a child when this pattern was set. I learned to pick up on how the emotional energy felt around me, not just what people said to me. I kept thinking there must be something wrong with me because I would hear someone say one thing, but in my body I was feeling something else. I felt the negative energy, and *that* is what I internalized. So, even if someone didn’t verbally say something negative to me, I picked up the feelings behind the negative energy, and made the assumption that I was bad.

Negative stores leading to self-hate

It took me years of trying figure this out. I could not figure out where my negative thoughts and beliefs were coming from. Negative stories that led me to hate myself. My kids have taught me about being completely authentic. If I am not being completely authentic in what I am saying to them, they sense it, and they tell me. I feel so grateful that we have a relationship where they know themselves well enough to see this for what it is, and also that we can talk about it. I am healing and growing as I go. This can be very confusing to a child. Their inner guidance is telling them one thing, but they are hearing something else.  A disconnect happens, and many people start operating on an unconscious level.

Love and honor myself enough to listen to my inner guidance

Now I am aware of this pattern, and I can work on healing it. It is all tied in with loving and honoring myself enough to listen to my inner guidance. It never fails me if I listen to it. I can change my perception of the stories in head. I can change them to the truth. There are many reasons why people say one thing and mean another. Most of the time it is because they don’t want to hurt someones feelings. Many times it is because they are coming from an unconscious place, and don’t even know they are communicating in this way. All I know, is it has lessened the confusion for me as to why I would feel a certain way around certain people. I can clearly see that some people aren’t sure how to be authentic. We are all at different places along the journey. I am grateful for my dog for helping me to really get this concept. It only took him 3 years to get me to see it!


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Let your emotions out, people!

Written by Amie on October 8, 2009 – 1:06 am -

The movie The Invention of Lying

I saw a movie tonight called The Invention Of  Lying. It was nothing like I thought it would be, and I am still trying to figure out exactly what I thought of it! I walked away scratching my head, but at the same time, it got my wheels spinning. The short of it was nobody knew how to lie. Until one day a man discovered lying. He was the only one who knew how to lie. Everybody believed every single thing  people said to them. Most of the people seemed depressed and lonely, which is another conversation in itself. One thing I thought about after the movie was how easy it is to believe everything that is said to us personally.  We are born not knowing how to lie, or to exaggerate the truth. Soon, we learn telling the truth doesn’t always get us a positive response, so lying begins. We start to believe what others tell us about ourselves, yet we learn to doubt the messages inside us, the ones telling us the truth about ourselves. The stories don’t match up, but yet we keep hearing the external messages so often we soon forget to listen to the internal connection we have.

Are you telling the truth?

The movie was a catalyst for pondering, no doubt. It also made me think about the people that are smiling saying everything is great, but really suffering in silence. There was a guy in the movie that was depressed and suicidal. Since he couldn’t lie, he just came right out and talked about it. This struck a chord with me because my brother did commit suicide. I knew that he was suffering, but had no idea how badly. This makes me wonder so many things. The biggest thing I wonder is why in the world are people taught that sharing their truth with others is somehow a bad thing?  We are taught that having any kind of emotions is really not OK. You do that in private, by yourself. Suffer in silence. Kids are sent to time out because they are showing emotion. Maybe in the form of a temper tantrum, but that is the only way they know how to express how frustrated they are! So from a young age, many people are taught that expressing their emotions is bad, and it also makes them weak. Expressing emotions is something that can be bothersome to others. I wonder how many people are walking around suffering? I can’t even imagine the amount.

liv shouting

Let your emotions out people!

So, I am here to say, “let your emotions out people!!” I say this with a smile! Seriously, what do we have to lose? Fight those voices that are telling you something is wrong with you, or the voices telling you how lazy you are or the voices asking, “how could you do that”? I say tell those voices to go jump in a lake without a life jacket. Corny? Sure, but you have to have a sense of humor when you talk to the voices in your head, they are not always rational!   As nice as it is to  get gifts, I don’t want anymore dysfunctional gifts, thank you very much. So, here is something to remember, if someone tries to give you a negative message or belief, you can say thanks, but no thanks, even if you say it just to yourself.

Messages you were born with

Here are some of the messages that I want to be coursing through my mind, and ones I put there myself when I need to feel nurtured. At this point, I am beyond caring how this sounds! I know I can’t be the only one out there who needs to hear nurturing beliefs. When I was part of a women’s healing circle, we each came up with things we needed to hear. So, hopefully this will be a gift to you that you can take in and let in to your belief system. The thoughts we were born with that got drowned out. I am saying these to you even though I can’t see you, but I hope that you can feel them. Let them sink in to your cells. Make up your own. Write down things you really need to hear, and say them out loud to yourself.

The truth

You are perfect exactly as you are. I hear you. I see you. I believe you. Who you are is what matters most. I care about you. I respect you. I love you for who you are. I support you. This is just a start……what do you need to hear from the voices inside your head?

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