We are not working towards enlightenment, we are coming home to ourselves.

Written by Amie on July 15, 2015 – 2:53 am -

“You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle.” ~Eckhart Tolle

 

Yes, the darkness exists

I want you to know that inside each of us is a seed that is a seed of the universe. Inside you is the whole universe in a seed. The universe is vast, it is perfection,it is pure,it is light,it is all. It is you. My favorite quote goes something like this, “you are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop.” I am telling you this because remembering this helped me remember who I really am even when I was feeling worse than horrible. When I would get those dark feelings and I could barely function, I would remind myself that the darkness was not who I am at my core, it is not my truth. Yes, the darkness exists, and it has been part of my journey, but it is not my core seed, the seed of the universe.

I promise you, there is nothing wrong with the core of who you are

We are born pure. Yes, I do believe it is possible to come here with some potential “baggage” from other lifetimes we have lived, but overall, we are born pure. What I mean is, I don’t believe we are born with darkness, I don’t believe babies are born depressed. I do believe some of us are born with a more sensitive nervous system, or are more calm, etc. I don’t want to get into that subject, but I want to acknowledge it. So, I want to assure you, the darkness you are feeling is not who you are, and you are not broken, there is nothing wrong with you. I promise you, there is nothing wrong with the core of who you are, with that beautiful seed that will exist in you forever. This can never ever be taken from you. Yes, it can be buried, it can be covered, it can even be hidden. But, it is always there, always.

87660727_XS

how to separate unhealthy or negative experiences from their core truth (seed)

The analogy that helps me is this; we have this seed in us that is who we truly are. The seed is unique for each of us, but always contains the entire universe within the seed. Which means we have everything we need, always. No matter what happens to us in our lives, we still always have the seed. Depending on our unhealthy life experiences or traumas, the darkness grows if we are unable to separate the experience from who we truly are (the seed within). Children, most of the time, do not have the life experience or awareness to know how to separate unhealthy or negative experiences from their core truth (seed). They will most likely *feel* the truth in their body without understanding what the feeling means. Most of the time a child is unable to decipher what the feeling is telling them,unless they have someone in their life who is able to help them navigate what is going on. I think of these unexamined experiences as cement that covers the seed. Each time we have an experience that is not processed, but instead it is repressed, it is like having concrete poured over the seed.

protecting the seed

If a child grows up in a dysfunction environment, and doesn’t have at least one person helping her understand her feelings, it is more likely she will have a lot of cement surrounding the seed, thus burying her true self. (I need to point out that everyone has negative experiences, and we all can make the choice to chip away the cement in order to unbury the seed within. I point this out because this isn’t a post blaming parents.We can all make the decision to heal our wounds so that we don’t pass on the dysfunction, and so we don’t navigate the world through a lens of our own wounds)The cement also serves the purpose of protecting the seed. What I mean is that if we are consistently exposed to dysfunctional behavior, such as abuse, neglect, etc, our seed goes into protective mode. Our seed instinctively knows to protect us.So, in this way, the cement actually helps us.

Taking care of your beautiful little seed must become your priority

When the day comes that we are able to navigate the world on our own, we can begin the process of chipping away the cement. I think of a sidewalk or a road where you see a little sprout popping up through the cement. The seed is resilient. It knows exactly what to do, and it will try very hard to help you remember who you truly are. It really depends on if you are ready to hear the message that you are a beautiful seed, you are perfection, everything is exactly as it should be. The seed will grow and grow and be seen more and more as you begin taking care of yourself. Once you begin the process of loving yourself and reminding yourself that you deserve a healthy life, your little seed will cheer and cheer until the day comes when you love yourself so much, you will no longer tolerate people in your life who do not respect you and who do not cheer for your seed to grow and to be healthy. Taking care of your beautiful little seed must become your priority. If someone does not see you or hear you, they may not be deserving of your energy.

You are the universe

The cement is not you. It is the negative experiences of your life. Each time you hear a negative message in your head, remind yourself, this is not the seed, it is the cement, and it was poured there without your consent. It was used to bury your truth. Talk to yourself, remind yourself of the universe inside, the seed that contains the whole univese. You are the universe. You truly are pure love. We are not working towards enlightenment, we are coming home to ourselves. We are uncovering the beautiful seed within, the seed that shines your unique self.

Share

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Awareness, Depression, Emotional Wounds, healing from depression, Help with depression, Self-love | No Comments »

Others need to see me in their own way for the benefit of their personal journey

Written by Amie on July 1, 2013 – 11:12 pm -

“You surrender to a lot of things which are not worthy of you. I wish you would surrender to your radiance… your integrity…your beautiful human grace.”~ Yogi Bhajanakes

 

depression is the suppression of the true self; trauma and repressed emotions included

I really love this quote. I have been thinking a lot about how much I surrendered my true self in the past. Mostly, to make those around me comfortable. I don’t beat myself up about this because I know that I did it unconsciously, I know I did it to cope with my life at the time. I know I buried my “radiance, my integrity, and my beautiful human grace”, so that I could get through my days without much conflict, and for the benefit of others. I understand now that people are going to do what they do because that’s what they need to do. It has nothing to do with me. I may just be the mirror they need in order to see what they need to see for their personal journey.  I have a clarity around this now. I know people see in me what they need to see for the benefit of their own journey. I know who I am and what I stand for, but this will not always be what others see. Before I grew stronger in myself, there was a time when I would be deeply hurt by what others thought of me, knowing they were so far off base.  I would internalize their words and I would believe there was something wrong with me, instead of questioning why they would say untrue words. In the past, I would act accordingly to their perspective. I became what they needed me to be, and they would be temporarily pacified. Meanwhile, my true self was dying a slow death. I felt the imbalance deep within me, but I blamed it on “depression”. “The reason I am feeling terrible is because I am so depressed.” I didn’t know to question why my true self was dying.  The definition of depression for me back then was, “There is something wrong with ME”. This was before I understood that depression is the suppression of the true self, which includes traumas and repressed emotions.

they want to see the me that will make *their* story true

I was surrendering to what others needed from me. I was surrendering to what I had to do in order to survive. I surrendered to what I needed to do so that I could cope. And then slowly, I began to awaken. I began to awaken to the truth. The truth that I was “depressed” because my beautiful self had been sacrificed for the sake of others. My beautiful truth had been buried. It is very clear to me now that a person who is living their life from their pain body (unconsciously) will NEVER see the real me. They want to see the me that will make *their* story true. They want to be able to blame others for their problems, blame  others for their circumstances, and blame others for disrupting their story. I feel so relieved now to really see this. It comes back to each of us being a mirror for others. People project their issues onto others when they don’t want to or don’t have the capacity to take responsibility for their own issues. I see now how much easier it is to be able to point the finger at someone else rather than have to make a change in my own life. So many people go through each day pointing the finger at all of “those people” who make their lives difficult. Anytime they are faced with some truth about their own life that makes them uncomfortable, they lash out at those “other people” who are doing it to them. It is easier to lash out than to look inside ourselves. I know this, I used to do this too. I realized that by blaming others for my emotions I was also handing them my power. When I was under the impression that others could “make me” feel a certain way, I was helpless. I gave them permission to control my feelings.

they need to see me in their own way, it truly has nothing to do with me

I’m writing this to say a few things. What others think of me is none of my business. It is theirs. I will not surrender to things that aren’t true. I know who I am and I stand in my truth no matter what words and stories are tossed around. I know my soul. I know I am a compassionate, loving, very caring, passionate and sensitive person. *This* is who I am. This is what I choose to surrender to, the truth. I will not surrender to someone else’s story. It doesn’t help them, and it harms me. I can’t control someone else’s journey. I would love to help them, but it is not always possible, especially when they have bought into their story completely. With all of this being said, I am still working on not allowing someone else’s story or their words to insult who I know myself to truly be. I understand where they are coming from, and I do have compassion, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel pain around it. It is still painful for me when someone who once claimed they loved me to see me from their perspective, (which is that I am acting maliciously and disrespectfully). It is painful when their words are so far from the truth. I continue to remind myself that others need to see me in their own way for their own personal journey, it truly has nothing to do with me. People will find ways of feeding their own story until they make the choice to awaken to their own truth, and own their emotions, circumstances, and behavior. In the past I may have come to the conclusion that, “if I speak my truth, I get abandoned, it is wrong, I am wrong, I need to fix it so they aren’t angry with me, what can I do to make them comfortable, I should not speak up.” Wow, what a heavy energy that is! No wonder I was depressed! The heavy energy has lifted for the most part, which is pure grace. I am very grateful. I see myself as I am, and I truly love what I see. I wish this for you and for everyone.

 

….when you start feeling the truth of who you are and also expressing this, you are loving yourself. When you love yourself, you begin loving the world around you. When you love the world around you, you are open to the love that the Universe has been holding for you all along….

 

 

Share

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Depression, Healing & personal growth, healing from depression, Help with depression, Nurture yourself, Self-love | 2 Comments »
RSS