Meditation and connection to my truth

Written by Amie on December 8, 2009 – 1:40 am -

I professed to know myself

It is rare that I miss a day of meditation. I feel as though a part of me is missing if I happen to miss a day. I really believe that meditation has been one of the most important tools in recovering from depression. My depression was severe because of so many things, but the main one was the fact that I was completely cut off from my inner self. I always professed to “know myself”. Boy was that a mistake! I had no connection with the quiet voice inside me. Therefore, I was basically a body walking around going through the motions of being alive. There were times when I was connected in with those around me of course; my husband, my children etc. But, I was pretty much cut off from myself and my truth.

child-meditating

Stay busy to avoid feeling

I think this is true for so many people. Many people learn to shut down their connection because it becomes too painful to leave the connection open. They start becoming who they believe they are supposed to be. Many people keep themselves so busy because it is scary to think of spending quiet time alone. If we are quiet with ourselves, our truth starts to emerge, and many things may be revealed that had been forgotten. It is not always easy work, but it is necessary if you are to heal from depression. We must become attentive to what is going on within us. Honestly, when I first started down this healing path, I heard people talking about their needs, desires, and their discoveries about their truth. This sounded like they were speaking a language I had never heard.

Will fireworks go off when I meditate?

When I started meditating, I expected huge things to happen. I thought I would have these incredible insights every time I decided to meditate. Heck, I didn’t have a clue how to meditate. I sat and waited, resisting my thoughts, pushing them away. So, of course it felt as thought I was at war with myself. That didn’t feel good. I would give up and then come back a few weeks later to try again. Meditation is being with yourself, listening. It doesn’t have to be a war, but sometimes it is. The more I meditate, the quieter my mind is. I keep reminding my mind that I am giving it time to rest. After all, it works triple time on some days!

A sense of connection

Lately, my meditations are deeper, and I am able to sense a connection that gives me information. There were many times I felt angry that I didn’t sense this connection. When I let go of my expectation for a certain outcome, things got much better. When I allow myself time to just be, things go better. I feel a deep reassurance that I am OK. It feels good. I believe that meditation is an innate need we all have. I also believe that each individual will begin meditating when the time is right. Not everyone is ready to spend time in quiet with themselves each day. I just know that in my experience, it is one of the best tools I have in my toolbox, and it has helped me more than words can say.

Check out Osho’s book called From Medication to Meditation, or Nothing Happens Next by Cheri Huber, or Present Moment Wonderful Moment by Thich Nhat Hanh just to name a few.

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