Claiming my power; a huge step toward healing depression

Written by Amie on June 24, 2010 – 4:37 pm -

The gift of learning to question everything

I have always had a rebellious streak (which I was led to believe was negative, but now I see what a gift it is to be able to question everything!!!) inside me, but there were more times than not that I shoved it down just to go along with other people. I used to be a peace keeper. Of course, I am still for peace, but I am not THE peace keeper. I learned to not “make waves” so to speak. It felt easier at times to just go along with others so that I didn’t risk being vulnerable by stating the way I really felt. I have written so many times on here about how I believe depression comes from repressing your truth, or ignoring who you are. Lately, I have come to see it as giving away my power. Whenever I don’t speak up on behalf of my truth, I am giving away a part of myself; I am giving away my power. When I give away my power, it seems natural to feel depressed.  I have been  doing this for most of my life, which makes sense that I would suffer from depression for a very long time. The more we teach ourselves to repress our truth, the more power we loose. Bit by bit, the power gets buried. Each time you give some away, your true power gets pushed down further inside you. After giving away most of ourselves, depression feels permanent. It feels like we may as well just give up on thinking we can feel better. I want you to know that it is not permanent, you can heal and go on to feel strong and powerful. Your power is just buried, but you can dig it out again.

You are not responsible for what happened to you as a child

When children are forced to give up their power because the adults in their lives do not have the skills/energy/knowledge to nurture and protect them, children learn that there is something wrong within them. They learn to hide their deepest emotions and feelings so that the adults in their lives will love and accept them. This is when children begin the process of losing their true self and their true power. When you are a child, you rely on adults to help you navigate the world. Children need adults to nurture them for exactly who they are. I am saying this because  I want people to realize that they had no control over this when they were children. When you don’t get your needs met as a child, it is not your fault. There was never anything wrong with you, and there isn’t anything wrong with you now.  Being a mother myself, I also want to say that I am not writing this so that parents beat themselves up for not meeting their child’s needs. We all do the best we can, and if we didn’t get what we needed as a child, it takes a lot of effort to change the path with our own children. But it is very possible to change paths, AND it is never too late. We are all here to heal and grow, and I do believe we are always exactly where we need to be on our path. This is where I am supposed to be; how do I know this? Because this is where I am. I think this quote by Maya Angelou applies here, “when you know better, you do better.”

I AM responsible for myself as an adult

So, back to claiming my power. I suppose it can be viewed as “re-claiming” my power. We all have this power within. It has taken me a very long time to see that I did not have power over my truth when I was a child. I hid the real me so that I could attempt to get my needs met. Of course, I did not realize what I was doing when I did this, I was just a child trying to cope with the circumstances around me. Children want to be loved, and they will do almost anything to feel loved, including hiding their truth. This is the most important point I am trying to make (finally, right?!) I realized for myself, finally (I say this without judgment because, if I was supposed to realize it sooner, I would have realized it sooner), that I am responsible for me NOW. I am an adult now, and even though I didn’t get my needs met as a child, I am old enough to take responsibility for my truth and power NOW. No matter what happened to me or to anyone in the past, we do not have to let that define us NOW. We can choose to do something different, we can choose a different path, we can choose to give ourselves the gift or nurturing ourselves or finding others in our lives who nurture us. On some level I have known this all along, but not to the extent that I get it now. I *feel* my power being restored each time I speak up and say my truth, each time I make a decision that is right for *me* even though someone else may not like it. Even though I have been doing things that feel nurturing to myself for quite awhile now, I was still practicing the coping skills from my childhood in some situations. I wasn’t always speaking up when I didn’t agree, I would still go along with some things even though that voice inside was screaming, “NO, you don’t really want to do that!”

The power of  your inner guidance

Listen to that voice inside, it always guides you to your truth. I can’t explain the power I feel right now. When I say power, I mean my inner guidance, my inner knowing that *all is well with me*. I have a beautiful friend that has helped me see that I have a right to claim my place here, and so do you!!! We all do, we were put here deliberately. There is a reason that I am here, you are here, each one of us. We  are all here to heal and grow and to help each other. We are all ONE.  As each of us heals and grows, we are helping each other, which helps the collective energy of the world. You are here for a reason, you deserve to be here, you deserve JOY, and it is OK to claim your place in this Universe.

Enjoy this video by Abraham-Hicks called Before you Became Physical


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Posted in Depression, Healing & personal growth, Mindful/respectful parenting, Self-love | 4 Comments »

Rediscovering my inner voice

Written by Amie on June 11, 2009 – 2:33 am -

Just 2 more bites

Imagine sitting down for dinner with a friend, a spouse, a partner, someone that you love and trust. Now imagine that you decide you are not hungry anymore, or that you would like to get up and move around before eating. Imagine if the person you are with holds onto you and will not let you go until you take 2 more bites of the food on your plate. They tell you no, you can’t get up to move around until after you finish eating, even though your body is telling you it really needs to move around right now.  For many children, this begins the path of learning to ignore their inner voice. They learn to shut off their truth, or to judge themselves  as “bad” for thinking something other than what they were taught is “right.” Many people have  been taught that someone else will tell them what to do, what to feel, and what they need. The inner voice gets turned way down so that it can’t be heard.

Am I hungry?

Many children are not even given the opportunity to decide when they should eat or sleep, the most basic of needs. They have been told since birth when they should eat, and when it is time for them to be tired. When did we lose touch with each other so much, that we are willing to listen to an “expert” over listening to our baby, or to our own inner guidance?  I witnessed a mother refusing to feed her baby because it hadn’t been 3 hours! The baby was clearly hungry, screaming, and the mother would not feed him. The mother claimed to be teaching the baby that he needs to be on a schedule. What he learned was that even if I scream, my needs will not be met. He learns to stop screaming, and the mother thinks she is successful with her lesson. In reality, the baby is on the path to losing himself. We have learned not to trust our own instincts. When we do decide to listen, it somehow feels wrong to us because we have never experienced what it feels like to honor our own voice. When we allow ourselves to listen again, we discover that inner guidance that was buried.

The good news!

The good news to all of this is that we can decide to start listening to our truth at any time we choose. It is waiting for us. Yes, it takes practice at first, but the more you listen to your heart and honor your truth, the stronger you get. Once I became aware that I wasn’t listening to what was true for me, a whole new world opened up. I honestly wasn’t aware that I had needs other than the basic ones. I was accustomed to paying more attention to what others thought of me than to pay attention to what I needed. Learning to listen to our inner voice is much easier to learn if we start young.  If you have children in your life, give them the gift of loving and honoring their voice that is there to help them discover their truth. As always, please be gentle with yourself while you are honoring yourself and rediscovering your own inner voice.



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Posted in Depression, Healing & personal growth, healing from depression, Mindful/respectful parenting, Self-love | No Comments »