The other side of depression….feeling alive again

Written by Amie on October 6, 2011 – 2:40 am -

Your depression can be healed

I keep sitting down to write and then I can’t seem to finish. I am going to try again! A friend of mine helped me see that I may be having a difficult time writing because I no longer suffer from depression. This is an incredible gift! This site began because it helped me to write about my journey with depression. So, maybe I just need to change the focus a bit. First of all, I want you to know that *your* depression can be healed. I promise you that. As long as you are willing to do the work, you can feel better. I feel so grateful for the way I feel right now. I honestly can say I have never felt better in my life. I have never felt this alive ever before. It is so obvious to me now that I was completely shut down for most of my life. I was depressed for many years. So, here I am….really feeling fantastic! Please don’t read that and get discouraged if you are feeling horrible right now. I remember feeling horrible and then reading something positive and just wanting to punch the screen. I would mumble under my breath some pretty nasty remarks to the person who was feeling good. I know, pretty helpful, huh? So, please stay with me here, and keep reading. My intention for this website has not changed. I truly want to help others who are suffering. I want to share the things that have gotten me to this much healthier place.

Homeopathy

I must give homeopathy a huge shout out because I believe that without it, I might still be struggling. I was very very depressed. I thought I was as low as I could go. I was wrong. My brother committed suicide. There was a lower place than where I was. I honestly didn’t think I could pull myself out of it. But, I did. With the help of an incredible therapist, an incredible homeopath, the best friends ever, family support (which is difficult when you are all suffering from the same trauma), and some other tools. However, the fuel for my recovery was homeopathy. It helped ignite my life force. It wasn’t fast and it wasn’t always easy, but it was the best thing I have ever done. And believe me, I have tried so many avenues. I knew that antidepressants were not an option this time. I realized that I had to *feel* and not try to push away my truth. Homeopathy fit the bill. It helped me to do all of the other things that have been instrumental in my healing. E-mail me if you need a recommendation for a homeopath.

I woke up!

The fact that you are searching the Internet and the fact that you landed here tells me that you are awakening. This is the most exciting thing ever!!! If you stay with yourself, and allow yourself to *feel*, you will heal your depression. Waking up is the beginning. Knowing that you don’t want to suffer anymore is key. Seeing things for what they truly are, and seeing people in your life for who they truly are keeps you moving on the path of awakening. My soul woke me up. The birth of my children began the process for me. I saw in them what I was missing in my life. The love I showered on them was the love I missed growing up. Their birth awakened something deep deep inside me. I was able to *feel* the giant hole inside me that needed to be filled. As time went on, I continued to grow. I continued to see things more clearly. I saw people in a different light. The most important thing is that I was truthful with myself. I started finally telling myself the truth of  what I felt and what I needed and what I like and dislike. This was huge! I had to learn how to allow all of this without holding on to the guilt and shame that was attached to it. 

I love myself now!

This is the most incredible feeling in the world! I can honestly say I am completely in love with myself now. And I do not feel an ounce of guilt saying that! It began with learning to nurture myself. I learned to do things that fed my soul, my spirit. I learned to tell people no! I learned to stay away from people who didn’t feed the goodness in me. Was it easy? Hell no!!!! But am I stronger? Hell yes!!! Do I know for sure I am a strong empowered woman? Hell yes!!!! It takes work. It takes learning to talk back to the voice inside your head that is feeding you lies. Trust me, the voices are not you! They are lies. Loving myself feels so wonderful, I can’t describe it. I meditate every day. I feel out of sorts without it. I exercise at least 5 days a week. All of these things happened because I was ready. I do not push myself to do any of it. It all comes natural now. I crave doing things that feel good. And, back to homeopathy-it is the driving force. I believe these things all come naturally to me now because I am more in balance mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. There is so much more, but I must go to sleep.

Contact me with questions, as I am truly here to help

 

You are love….you have the answers you need right inside you…..dig through the old lies and stories to re-discover the truth you were born with…..you are a beautiful soul…..you deserve to be here…..you deserve to feel joy every day……let go of the old stuff you have carried around for years…..question every single thing you tell yourself…..only keep it if you know it to be 100% true….that means you have to prove that it is true! Do something for yourself that feels good…right now….love…

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Posted in Awareness, Depression, Healing & personal growth, Homeopathy, Meditation, Nurture yourself | 8 Comments »

How do I win this battle? Or do I need to?

Written by Amie on February 7, 2011 – 12:02 am -

Resistance and letting go

I have been pondering exactly what it is that I am trying to “get to” or what goal I am trying to reach when dealing with depression. When I feel really out of sorts and down, I keep thinking there is some end result-like if I can just beat this depression I will be so happy! I am realizing this is just another way to resist what is really happening in this moment. It is a way to keep me from just being in my truth; feeling what is really going on right now. How do I feel in my body? What is that tight knot in my stomach? If I keep focusing on this happiness point, the conditioned me takes over and keeps me farther away from my real self. Resistance and not letting go are tough lessons to learn. I keep thinking that I should be able to just beat depression once and for all. If I just do xyz…..fill in the blank, then I will have it all figured out and I will be so happy all of the time.


Protection from feeling pain

Well, reality is here to show me that I am making things so much harder than they need to be. I am spending so much energy trying to change “what is”, that there is no way I can ever truly be in the moment. My truth lies in the moment. Feeling resides in the present moment. Suffering happens when I try hard to change what is true right now in this very moment. Being in the moment can be scary so my mind tries to keep me focused on that “goal” as a way to protect me from feeling too much pain. I guess resistance can be viewed as a defense mechanism. My mind’s way of protecting me from feeling emotional pain is to keep me busy by telling me all of the reasons why I need to fix my depression, why I need to change this or that, and why I am flawed because I have depression. The best way for my mind to keep me from experiencing my feelings is to tell me that I will never truly feel good. Why is it the best way? Because it has been repeating to me so many times, I have come to believe it! Bingo! My mind wins, and I lose. It keeps me focused on the past and future, which keeps me out of the truth-the present moment.

I want to be alive and present

I am grateful for my mind for trying to protect me like this. I am sure it was a wonderful thing when I was a child. I am sure that focusing on something else kept me from being hurt emotionally. However, I want to be alive and present in my life. I want to experience all of it. I don’t want to be checked out to avoid pain. Part of being human means experiencing some pain. The more I allow myself to experience real life as it happens, the happier I am. Being happy is not my goal, beating depression is not my goal. Staying true to who I am in each moment is what I want for myself. Because by doing this, I am authentic. Being authentic is what I want. Breathing and living in each moment is what I want to do. I have no goal. I just am. In this moment, I will be.

Surrender or suffer

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