Taking back your power from depression

Written by Amie on February 6, 2012 – 1:20 am -

You are love….you have the answers you need right inside you…..dig through the old lies and stories to rediscover the truth you were born with…..you are a beautiful soul…..you deserve to be here…..you deserve to feel joy every day……let go of the old stuff you have carried around for years…..question every single thing you tell yourself…..only keep it if you know it to be 100% true….that means you have to prove that it is true! Do something for yourself that feels good…right now….tell yourself you are falling in love with…..YOU! 🙂

You have power!

Okay, here we go…….I have been having a bit of trouble writing lately because there is a tiny part of me that does not want to own my true power. I am right on the edge of stepping 100% into who I truly am. What am I afraid of? I am a tiny bit afraid of being seen as a “know it all”. Honestly, that is my truth right now. Up until a few years ago, I played small. I played the game of pretend….pretending I didn’t have power inside me….pretending I didn’t know how powerful I really am. When I say powerful, I do not mean this in an ego-based way….I am talking about the power every single one of us has because we are all a part of the same source. The only problem is, so many of us either do not recognize it, do not own it, or choose to keep it hidden. This is sad. Instead, most people are taught to play small; to go along with the crowd so as not to “make waves”. That was me. Until now.

threshold of fear

Here I go….I am stepping over that tiny threshold of fear, and letting go of the untrue thought that people will think I am a know it all. Even if someone does think that, it really isn’t about me, it is about them. I want to share with you what I *know* for certain. When I was severely depressed, this message most likely would not have made a difference to me, so I understand if this does not resonate with you *right now*. This is what I have come to know without an ounce of doubt and I want to share it with each and every person I come into contact with. Maybe you already know this and feel this deep in your bones. I pray that you do!!! I began the journey of learning this message after my kids were born. However, I did not *feel* it so deeply until the last year or so. If I could explain to you how I felt at the beginning of this journey, and how I feel now….you would be utterly amazed beyond words. I know I am. I came back to the truth that I know we are all born with.

So, this is what I know. These words are not mine. I just happen to be the conduit for them.

blaming others 

Depression is your soul’s way of trying to wake you up to remember your truth. I know I have said this before, but I must keep repeating it. Depression is your soul’s way of screaming (gently!) to you to please come back to realize you are magnificent. One reason you are feeling so badly about yourself is because you bought into (innocently)the nonsense that people who were supposed to love and protect you, either told you, or showed you, via their actions. This is not the fault of anyone. They were taught the same lessons they passed on to you, and for whatever reason, it was not their time to wake up and realize how dysfunctional their behaviors were. Many people have very sensitive souls. If this is the case for you, it was even more difficult for you to be with dysfunctional people in your life. Your soul was screaming out your truth, and this truth was shut down by dysfunctional people and/or a dysfunctional society. You learned to hide. If we stay hidden for too long, we have no choice but to shut down the truth that we were born with.

learning to take back your power

I am not saying all of this so you can blame your depression on someone else. That is not my message here. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Your life experiences made you the perfect soul you are today. I am telling you this to encourage you to take back your power. When you allow yourself to see and feel the pain and hurt you have endured in your life, you automatically take back the power that was taken from you. Each time you question something you were taught to believe, you gain back power.  The more you question, the more you gain your power back. I am telling you this so that you can understand why you may be hating yourself right now. Your soul is weighted down with self-hate messages that are just plain lies. When you believe the self-hate, you can’t function in your truth. You are fighting against self-hate. The way to get out of depression is to start loving yourself. And, please believe me, I understand this does not always happen overnight. I say “not always”, because I want to leave the possibility open for you to believe it actually *can* happen overnight. Self-love begins when you start listening to and questioning the voices and messages in your head. Replace the lies with the truth. The truth is, every single one of us is here to give and receive unconditional love.

we are all mirrors for each other

We are here to see the beauty in each and every living being we come into contact with. Each being we come into contact with is a mirror for us. Each being has a part of us in them. We are all a part of each other. What I dislike in another person, I also dislike in myself. What I love in another, I love in myself. What irritates me in another, also irritates me in myself. This is a difficult pill to swallow sometimes, but it is the truth. Once we can see ourselves in every single living person/animal/flower etc., we will know unconditional love and we are free. Start by looking at every thought that goes through your mind….every reaction you have……every belief you have…..every choice you make…..and then question it…..while always being as gentle with yourself as you would be with a young baby. Nurture yourself by allowing your truth to surface without judging it. Replace the self-hate with a loving thought, even if it doesn’t feel true right now.

 

You are love….you have the answers you need right inside you…..dig through the old lies and stories to re-discover the truth you were born with…..you are a beautiful soul…..you deserve to be here…..you deserve to feel joy every day……let go of the old stuff you have carried around for years…..question every single thing you tell yourself…..only keep it if you know it to be 100% true….that means you have to prove that it is true! Do something for yourself that feels good…right now….tell yourself you are falling in love with…..YOU! 🙂

 

 

 

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My pain is still my pain even if there are other people who have it “much worse” than I do

Written by Amie on November 9, 2010 – 10:51 pm -

My pain is not that bad compared to others! Argh…..

I feel the need to talk about this because it has “triggered” anger in me lately. I have realized that for most of my life, I have put my own pain in the category of “not that bad” compared to many other people. This is true, there are so many other people who have had horrific things happen to them. It is difficult for me to even hear some of their stories. I usually end up in tears. However, just because others have had worse experiences and maybe more pain, it does not discount my pain. I can have deep compassion for others, while still honoring my own experience. I think it is common for us to be conditioned to shrug off our own pain and suffering because, “we should be grateful, we are so lucky compared to other people.” Again, I don’t mean to discount others’ pain either. That is not my point. My point is that everyone has some emotional pain and/or physical things that have happened to them. Each individual must honor their own situation, and know that their pain and suffering is just as important as everyone else.

I shame myself

I think it is very important to honor the fact that your pain is just as valid as the next person. When I tell myself that “I should be grateful, I have xyz, and I am able to do xyz”, I feel guilty for talking about my pain. I shame myself for even thinking I have a right to have pain, anger, sadness, emptiness etc. I can see how we are conditioned to always look at the other person, and give them empathy and compassion. Don’t get me wrong, these are incredible things to give someone. But, not always at the expense of ourselves. A friend of mine was talking about another friend who, “is so giving”, and “he gives of himself constantly”. Then in the next breathe he told me how depressed his friend is and that he isn’t taking time to honor that in himself. “Others are suffering more” he thinks. This could be true, but it also might not be true. And, it really doesn’t matter if it is true. What matters is that he honors himself so that eventually he will be able to help others on the same path. I truly believe we need to heal our own wounds before it is possible for us to help others in an authentic way. I was able to go through the motions many times to help others because I felt my pain was “nothing” compared to what they needed from me. However, inside I was dying, and when I don’t honor the part of me that is suffering and needing nurturing, my own pain gets worse, and in turn makes it nearly impossible for me to help others.

Guilt and Shame

I feel angry that my own pain and my own situation was discounted. I am also angry that I learned to start ignoring myself and my needs because I got the message that I should just be thankful…for my family….for my health….for all of the material things…..blah blah blah. Please don’t misunderstand…..I am beyond grateful for these things, but that doesn’t mean I should ignore that inner voice screaming my truth. There have been times when life just did not seem worth it to me. But I suffered rather than tell anyone. There were times when I wanted to just give up, and on some level I did. Then I attached shame and judgment to it. You know what I mean,”how can I think these things? ” I am so lucky to have what I have and be in the situation I’m in.” The main message I sent myself was that I should not ever “complain”. I was being an ungrateful baby and I should look how bad other people have it. Ugh……….starting now…..this is the affirmation I will use when I hear myself saying, “I shouldn’t feel xyz…..or “Why can’t I just be happy with the way things are”………Affirmation: I honor my feelings, and my feelings are valid regardless of other peoples’ experiences. This affirmation helps me to remember that I am, in fact, responsible for my life. I take more of my power back by doing this.

Honor yourself

Honor and accept yourself and honor your feelings. Your feelings are valid regardless of what someone else tells you and regardless of what your shaming judgmental voice is telling you. Your experiences are valid, and you have a right to feel exactly as you feel. Breathe…..breathe…..honor….love yourself……you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Remember the mean voice that is telling you to discount your own pain is NOT who you really are. That is the voice from the past that conditioned you to believe untruths about yourself. Just BE with YOU. You are worth being with and you deserve to be heard. Namaste.

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