Depression and the stories we tell ourselves

Written by Amie on June 6, 2011 – 10:52 pm -

You will not believe this…let me tell you

I was just thinking tonight that if we are not aware of our thoughts, ┬áit is so easy to convince ourselves of just about anything. For example, if you are hoping that a friend will call because you miss them and really want to see them, but then they don’t call, the stories begin in the mind. “I bet she just doesn’t want to see me”, or “gosh, I wonder what I did to make her mad”, or “I hope she wasn’t in a terrible car accident and nobody told me.” Have you ever found yourself doing this? I would venture to say that everyone has done this, and most likely on a daily basis. All of these thoughts have a few things in common. They are very likely not true, they bring us out of the present moment, and they try to make us at fault for something that isn’t even true. The mind likes to bring us out of the present moment. It is the habit of the mind. It is also very common in people with depression to go to the worst case scenario in most situations with the blame being on themselves.

Here comes that feeling of blackness again

I wanted to mention the above because I thought it would resonate with most people. I want to take it one step further and point out the stories we tell ourselves about our depression. When I was feeling horrible my first thought was usually,” here it comes again, I will never get rid of this.” And I believed it. I believed it completely. I believed the stories in my head. They had been there for so long, I didn’t know to question them. I see that this has to be the first step on the path to getting through depression. We have to become aware of what we tell ourselves, and then we must give depression a voice. We have to learn to watch the mind and the crazy untrue messages it tells us.

How to do this?

Even if you are convinced that your depression has nothing to do with your thoughts and beliefs or that you don’t say mean things to yourself, try paying close attention for just one hour today. Write down everything that goes through your mind. The key is not to judge yourself. Just look and watch and observe and record. You may be shocked at what you write down. Most of us have an endless loop of negative thoughts and comments going through the mind. So many messages we picked up along the way. The majority, if not all of them, are false! If you don’t believe me, take one of the thoughts you wrote down and prove it’s truth. Prove to yourself it is true. It doesn’t count to say something like, “I can prove that I am stupid because I failed that test.” So you failed a test, how would that prove you are stupid? It doesn’t. There has to be 100% solid evidence that your thoughts are actually true. Good luck proving any of it.

A place of familiarity

Once I became aware that my thoughts are beliefs were not true, I felt a new freedom and excitement! I felt as thought i could start my life again. I learned to question every single thing that went through my mind. I threw them away if they weren’t true. Was it easy? No! Do I still struggle at times? Absolutely! But the difference is awareness. I am aware of my thoughts, and this makes all the difference in the world. Awareness is the first step. Awareness leads to presence. The present moment is all you have for sure, so why not learn to stay in it? The things you are telling yourself about tomorrow or last week or the things you are saying about why your friend hasn’t called-these are ALL just stories your mind is making up to keep you in the place of fear and a place of familiarity. That’s all. A story, just like in a book. Once you can step back and watch your mind telling you stories, you begin to view them as just that. Healing from depression can be hard work, but it is so worth it! If you allow yourself to become aware without judgment, you will begin to open yourself up to the truth of what is inside you. Pure awareness and pure beauty and love. I hope this doesn’t sound to “frou-frou”, as I know what it feels like to be in the bottomless pit. However, I do want to give you tools and give you hope that it can and will get better if you are willing to dig inside yourself to become aware of what is really being said.


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Giving a voice to depression

Written by Amie on June 1, 2011 – 1:33 pm -

A pill to make it go away

For years there was a nagging voice in my head that was saying “some day” you will be ready to speak up. I wasn’t ready until now. For the past few months I have been feeling better than I have ever felt in my life. It is so clear to me that healing from depression is a process. A process that unfolds exactly how it needs to unfold. You can’t rush it, you can’t take a pill to make it magically go away, you can’t push it away, you can’t wish it away. Our bodies are nothing short of a miracle. There is protection in place that will not allow us to push ourselves emotionally farther than we are ready to go. I am convinced of this. There is an unfolding in each of us. This is our journey. Depression leads to self love if we listen to it, give it a voice, and allow it to unfold as it needs to.

Life force

I have done so many things in order to grow through depression and to give my depression a voice. The things that have helped me the most are homeopathy, mind/body therapy, body movement, craniosacral therapy, and working on my throat chakra. So many other things have helped along the way, but right now, I would say these have been the most helpful. I have said it before, but homeopathy has really changed my life. I believe we are all energy, and homeopathy is an energy medicine. It stimulates our life force and assists the body in healing itself.

Shutting off your voice

Every time I shut down my voice, I prolong my depression and I shut off a part of my soul. Every single time. Depression will hang out with you until you are ready to give a voice to what is really true for you. You will do it when you are ready. But it is important to listen and to allow the voice to speak when your body is telling it to speak. It is a habit to shut yourself down. Somewhere along our journey we were taught that shutting off our own voice was what we needed to do in order to survive. It becomes a habit of protection. This is a great thing when we are young. It can keep us stuck when we are adults. Every single person has a right to speak what they feel and believe. Everyone, without question. We all have a right to be happy and to give and receive love. Everyone, without question. By not speaking up and giving a voice to our depression, we remain victims.

Throat chakra

For the past few months I have been focusing on my throat chakra. You might want to read about the chakras in our bodies. I won’t go into detail here. The throat chakra is located in the center of the throat and is linked to the ability to communicate. When we stop voicing out truth, the throat chakra gets blocked. When this happens, we have a difficult time speaking up for ourselves. So, the good news is that it can re-open! I have been going to craniosacral therapy which has helped so much. I also have two necklaces with stones that have the energy to help open the throat chakra. I practice saying what is true for me, out loud. This can be scary at first. It is great if you can say things to a person, but if you aren’t ready for that yet it is still helpful to say them out loud to yourself.

Depression is there for a reason

Depression can most definitely get better! I promise you that if you are willing to look around inside of yourself and allow your true feelings to come up, you can heal your depression. Depression is there for a reason….be grateful for it. I know, trust me, I know. That is not easy to do when you feel so badly that crawling under a rock to die peacefully sounds much better. I’ve been there many many times. But I am here to give you hope. It can and will get better if you are willing to accept who you really are and what is really true for you. It is a process. Let your feelings come and go. Let go of what you think things should look like. Be there for yourself. Be gentle with yourself. I promise you, you deserve joy and love and happiness. You can have that. Be willing to look inside yourself and be willing to voice what is really there. Become aware of what your mind is telling you….and be willing to question those things. Most of them have no truth. Awareness is the beginning of healing. Give a voice to depression. It is just hanging out waiting until you are ready. It will wait forever if need be. So, the sooner it gets a voice, the sooner it moves through.


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