The world has been missing you; begin your journey to discovering the real you

Written by Amie on November 13, 2012 – 2:20 am -

you will start feeling better the minute you decide to start listening to your inner voice

It is exciting to hear about so many people waking up to discover who they really are. I love the thought of people waking up to realize their depression can be “fixed”. Believe me, I know how bad depression can feel, and I know how sometimes it feels as though you will never feel better and what is the point? I am here to say, “please hang in there, you will start feeling better the minute you decide to start listening to your inner voice”. We are living in an exciting time. Trust me, I know it doesn’t feel that way. It feels pretty chaotic right now. I describe it as the storm before the calm. I have been feeling heavy energy for a few months now. My belief is that we, as humans, are waking up at an accelerated speed. Depression is high, anxiety feels unbearable, and people seem to have temporary insanity! lol It is temporary, I do believe that. I have been a witness to several people waking up to realize that all they thought was true really isn’t. It is disheartening for them at first, then they may feel angry, and then they figure out a new way of “being”. And then they wonder why the heck didn’t anyone tell them about this whole other way of being? The answer to that is they weren’t ready until now.

you are depressed because you have buried yourself

Why am I talking about this? Because I want to reassure those who are suffering deeply right now that things will get better and easier. This is true if you are willing to look inside yourself and listen. This is true if you are willing to acknowledge those feelings that you think others may disagree with or may dislike. This is true if you decide that you deserve love, you deserve to be nurtured, and you deserve to express yourself exactly as you need to (assuming you are not intentionally hurting others, or physically hurting others!) I want to add that telling the truth to someone may cause them to blame you for “hurting them”. This is not what I mean  by intentionally hurting others. It is your right to express your truth. How another person responds to you is their truth. If you are willing to look at your life and be honest about the things that are bringing you down, you can begin to find the true soul that has been buried deep within you. You are depressed because you have buried yourself. Remember, it is perfectly understandable why you did this. You did it to protect yourself. At some point in your life, you came to the conclusion that you needed to protect yourself from being hurt by others. You have built in protection, and your body and mind knew exactly what to do so that you could cope with your life.

it is okay to feel angry

Depression is your soul’s way of screaming to you that it wants to be seen. And heard. It is tired of being beat up. You learned to beat yourself up for things that were out of your control. There are so many dysfunctional adults in our world, and they pass along messages of self-hate to their children. They really don’t do this intentionally. It happens because it is too painful for them to get help. It is okay to feel angry at the people in your life who conditioned you to believe there was something wrong with you. It isn’t always productive to express this to them, in my experience. If they have not grown emotionally, then it is mostly a waste of time and energy to tell them how you feel. So, in my experience, it is most helpful to work through these issues with a therapist or people who are also growing, and who see you and accept you and nurture you for who you are. You will truly be shocked at what you have been believing about yourself and those in your life. You will come to see that most of the thoughts in your head are just not true, and they came from other people. You will slowly begin to start questioning why you do everything you do, where your beliefs came from, and who your true self really is. Your depression will begin to fade as you begin to let your voice be heard. You will start to only allow those people in your life that truly support and encourage you to be your true self. You may discover how much you actually hate certain things you have been telling yourself you should love. Resentment will begin to be felt, and this is normal. You may be resentful that you  were conditioned to believe things that simply weren’t true.

discovering who you are is a process

Discovering your true self is an exciting process! It is the process children should be living as a normal rite of passage. Someday, this will be reality. But right now, at this point in the evolution of humans, this is where we are. We are waking up to see that we have been conditioned to hide so as to fit in or appear as though we have it all together.  Well, I say, give yourself permission to begin your process of discovering who you are. The world has been missing you! Start right now. Start by writing down some of the thoughts going through your head for ten minutes. Question them. If you think they are true, make yourself prove it. Pick one nice thing to say to yourself, and repeat it each time you say something negative. Repeat it, repeat it, and repeat it again, even when you don’t believe it. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, “I love you”, even if it doesn’t feel true and you feel goofy saying it. Do that as many times a day as you are willing, but do it at least once. Do one thing a day that feels nurturing to you. Take a walk, light a candle and sit in silence, watch a movie. Do something that feels good. Learn to meditate. There is no “right way”. Oprah had an interview with Deepak Chopra a week or so ago that teaches beginning meditation. And, guess what, you can start by sitting for one minute a day. It is easy to feel afraid to start something new. I understand this, especially when you are feeling really low. I get it, I promise you. But I also know that meditation changed my life. It can change yours too. And, it has nothing to do with religion, if that is an issue for you.

there is nothing wrong with you

So……I want you to know…there is nothing wrong with you…..and there is nothing wrong with you because you are suffering with depression right now……depression is just covering up the real you because you were conditioned to hide your truth. You true self is waiting to be re-discovered. Your true self is how you were born. I promise you…..you are loved….you are perfect exactly as you are…and your depression will begin to lift as soon as you being to look at your truth. Depression can be debilitating, I know from experience. I also know that I am more alive and more authentic than ever before in my life. I want to give you hope, because I *know* without one shred of doubt, that you can feel alive and happy and authentic too. Is it an easy road? Not always, I won’t lie to you. But is it worth it? HELL YES!!!!!

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The added commentary

Written by Amie on October 12, 2009 – 12:41 am -

You had me going!

When I am present, I am able to laugh about the many times my mind tries to tell me stories about the experiences that are happening in my life. If I have more than one or two things that I absolutely have to get done within a few hours, the stories begin…..”Oh my gosh, I will never get all of this done…..I hate days like this…..I feel like I am running all over the place…..why can’t someone else do this”……then I catch myself and laugh. I say to myself, “wow, you really had me going there for a few minutes, I almost fell into the victim role again….a victim to…? oh, that would be to myself! Then, I calmly remind myself of the facts…..”I always have a choice (very important reminder), I can finish these things easily, at 4:00 these things will be behind me, I can make this enjoyable if I change my perspective!” And, usually, within a few minutes I have shifted my mood. There are a few ways of looking at this, but I will share my experience because it is what I know for sure.

All about needs

When I was in this mode I am now able to see without a doubt that it was all about needs. When I felt overwhelmed and like a victim, it was because I was not getting my needs met. My stories would set up the tone of “oh poor me”, and then I would be convinced that my world was falling apart around me. The voices that were telling me stories were also telling me, “don’t bother trying to get your needs met, you will never get them met.” Once we learn that our needs will not be met, we get in the habit even as adults, not to bother asking. Therefore, we unconsciously put ourselves in the role of the victim, hoping someone will notice and then maybe we will get our needs met. This is a passive aggressive way of trying to get our needs met, and may be the only way we have known to try to get our needs met.  It took me a long time to really see this pattern in myself. I am able to see how this pattern was set early on however, and this made a big difference in my healing.  Once I could see what I was doing, it helped me to become more present and aware of the patterns so that I could change them. Identifying our patterns is so helpful in the process of healing.

Healing from depression

When needs are not being met, it is understandable as to why we act the way we do. All humans have needs. It is essential when healing from depression to get in touch with your needs. This is something I still work on because I had no idea how to name my needs. Most of us haven’t learned how to get our needs met. Instead, we make up stories as to why we feel certain ways. We make up stories about why “I have so much to do”, and “I always have to do everything”. A lot of our stress comes from the stories we tell ourselves about our situation. When I first started learning about needs and learning about how to express them, I had no idea that my stories were really the expression of unmet needs.

Stay present with myself

Things feel so much easier when I stay present with myself, and check in with myself many times per day. I check in with myself to make sure there are no stories taking me over like an alien! It takes awhile for the habit of listening to the stories to die down, but it does as long as you are present and aware. When I check in with myself, and the stories are running rampant, I simply ask myself, “what do I need?” I may not always get a quick, clear, answer, but just stopping to ask the question beings me into awareness. It allows me to consider what it is I am needing. Many times I just need understanding. I need someone to hear me and just validate what they hear me saying. Amazing how simple this sounds, but yet most of us have no experience with it. I learned about it when my kids were younger and I have been practicing it for years now. However, it still doesn’t always come easy. But, at least, I am aware of what is going on in my noggin now, so I can call it on the carpet, so to speak!

 

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