We have been taught to avoid feeling our greatness

Written by Amie on April 11, 2015 – 2:38 am -

The message is well ingrained

We are so much more than this temporary shell (our body) we live in. Our soul (or our true self) has been taught to live in a state of being shut off from its truth. This message is loud and clear starting from the time we are babies and children. (there are different degrees of this, with some parents who are awake and who see and respond in a healthy way to their babies and children). However, in this post I am talking about the majority of people(in my opinion) who are raised with the message that they need to shut off their truth. Most people in one way or another have gotten the message that their true self, their true beauty, their true magnificence, should not be seen or heard. This message is taught to babies and children, and also is carried into adulthood. By the time we reach adulthood, the message is well ingrained. I am here to say, this can be healed, it can be reversed. Your true self can shine!

until they were indoctrinated

I observe people, it is what I do. I notice how uneasy people are around other people in general. I watch at the grocery store, and I see people afraid of making a mistake. “Oh no, I thought that cost $5, I am so sorry I told you the wrong amount”. And they go on and on berating themselves for making an innocent mistake. “gosh, I can’t believe I did that, I should have noticed that, how did I miss that?” All while feeling ashamed to look at the other people for fear the others will agree, that yes, you are in fact, stupid. This breaks my heart in so many ways. (And, I used to be just like that. I would beat myself up all day for one little mistake) I see people who are so wounded inside, but yet trying to appear “normal” and happy. They believe the stories and lies they learned, and they are living from this place of untruth. They have completely forgotten their beauty, the true magnificence of their soul, the perfection they were born with. The beauty they knew at a very deep level, until they were indoctrinated with the message of who they truly are is not okay. Watch people. Watch how uncomfortable so many people are with feeling afraid when they think they cut in front of you in line, or afraid to speak up if something is not really what they want, or making sure others go before them even when they were there first. (because maybe I am not worthy of being treated kindly, or I don’t want you to think I feel I am better or more important than you) There are also the messages from many religions that say we must not be selfish, always put others first. So even in those times when you  really don’t want to put others first, you do it anyway, so as not to be seen as a bad person. Oh…..the lies run deep.

An “anger trance”

Our true self (our essence, our soul, our spirit) does not match up with the outer world we are living in. (the outer world is like a movie, it is made up) Our minds have been trained to see in a very muted, dysfunctional way. So, after years and years of this muting of our true self, many people may become very angry. There are different degrees of this. Many people live their lives in an anger trance, feeling grumpy and mean most of the time, while sometimes putting on a “happy face” to convince others of how happy they are. Or the anger takes over and they lash out and hurt others around them. Or they become very deeply depressed and can barely get through the day. Or they turn on themselves with self hate. Or a combination of these things. Many people self medicate trying to shove down the bursting of the soul’s cries to be seen and heard. Sometimes this works for a lifetime, sometimes not.

avoid feeling and seeing our own greatness

We have been taught to avoid feeling and seeing our own greatness, at any cost! As some children we are told to be quiet, shhhh, stop bothering people, or can you please just stop talking, or don’t be a show-off, or be nice to your friend, don’t be mean, or stop being a know it all, or you can’t like that activity, it is weird, it doesn’t make sense, or no, that is not ok, or why do you have to do that, or just do as I say, you are just a child you don’t know what’s best for you, or stop doing that, people are staring, or you are fine, that didn’t hurt!, stop being a baby, or go to sleep, there is nothing to be afraid of, or you must be mistaken, I doubt that really happened. I’m thinking most of you may be able to add to this list?

Nobody knows better than you, what is best for *you*

Children *know* and act out their greatness, their magnificence! This is what we need to come back to. How do we do this? We start observing every single thought we are having. We pay attention to how our body feels, and we explore what those feelings are. We decide what feels good and what doesn’t. We do things that feel good. We take care of ourselves in all ways the best we can.We practice being kind to ourselves. This is so very important! Once you are able to be kind to yourself, the rest will fall into place. Some people may no longer be welcome in your life. Many things may change, or not. It is all about learning to love yourself. I promise you, the reasons why you are cruel to yourself stem from learned behavior. The thoughts about yourself that are anything but magnificent are NOT true! I am not saying we are all perfect and we will be happy every single second. No. This is unrealistic. But, yes, we are perfect in the sense that nothing is wrong with us. We only learned that something must be wrong with us. Our world is set up to make us think we should dim our light. It is set up to keep us feeling like we should “obey” authority figures, or that someone else knows what is best for us. NO! Nobody knows better than you, what is best for *you*! Shine your light! That is why you are here, to be in your magnificence.

you may need to go slow and grow into your truth

The outer world is is not who you really are. Your inner soul is who you are. Yes, we need these bodies in order to function as humans, but we are not our bodies. If you sit quietly and just *be* with yourself you will soon feel your true self. You will begin to “hear” (not audibly) who you are. You will begin to know who you are. You will know the part of you (the authentic part) who is magnificent, the soul you are. You may not trust this message at first, you may need to go slow and grow into your truth. It is a process. It takes practice to begin hearing your true self if you have spent most or all of your life being taught to ignore it. Your truth is there, inside you, I promise. All of the answers you need are there, always. Nobody can take them from you. You are brilliant! You are a beautiful magnificent soul! Ahhh…….

“I am Light” by India Arie

 

 

Share

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Awareness, Depression, healing from depression, Help with depression, Nurture yourself, Self hate, Self-love | No Comments »

Stop thinking, just *feel*; using movement to release emotions

Written by Amie on November 16, 2011 – 2:13 am -

Learn to become “the observer” of the one having the negative thoughts

I want to talk more about releasing emotions through body movement. Many people e-mailed to ask what this process looks like for me, so I thought it would be helpful to write about it here in case others have the same question. When I first started using movement to release emotions, I was pretty judgmental of myself. Even though I locked myself in a room and turned the lights down, I was still self-conscious. If I could go back and give myself encouragement, I would tell myself that the mean voices in my head are not true, and more importantly, they are not who I am. They are conditioned beliefs that have nothing to do with who I am. They are the dysfunctional messages passed on by dysfunctional people and systems. So, to begin with, using movement to release emotions is also a practice in meditation. By this I mean you must learn to become “the observer” of the one having the negative thoughts. Keep moving your body while just noticing the thoughts. Don’t buy into them. Remember you are *not* your thoughts, you are the watcher of your thoughts. There is a *very* big difference. It takes diligent practice to make this become real in our bodies. The more you remember it, the easier it gets. This is about becoming aware. Awareness of what you are telling yourself.

Stop thinking, and FEEL

I always know when I need to move. It is usually when I am “trying to process” some feelings that have come up. I know if I am thinking too much or trying to figure something out, it is better for me to start moving. I know the main thing to remember is to *feel*. When I stay with my thinking too much, it is usually because I don’t want to feel. This is a very common protective response. I internalized the message, “if I feel, it will hurt”. I know this is not a true statement any longer. Sure, there are painful emotions, no doubt. But, we hurt when we start telling ourselves stories *about* those feelings. Feelings and emotions are energy. If thinking didn’t exist, we would just notice sensations in our bodies when we have a reaction to something. It is the added stories we start telling ourselves that make the experience painful. We believe these stories. Again, this takes some “re-training” of the brain. Our brains are trained to react a certain way, and they will continue to do that unless we decide to change it. It takes practice.  When I start feeling restless and I am focusing too much on “why” or “how” or obsessing over a detail, I  *know*, or rather my body knows, it is time to move!

90 second rule

I want to share this from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s book called My Stroke Of Insight (a great book, btw!). “When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop. Something happens in the external world and chemicals are flushed through your body which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body it takes less than 90 seconds.

This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can feel it happening, and then you can watch it go away. After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking that are re-stimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological response over and over again.”

Lock the door, light some candles, dim the lights, and shake shake shake!!!

Sounds like an interesting title, don’t you think?! That is a shortened version of  my routine. I must also mention that I have a punching bag which is sometimes part of my routine. I absolutely love it! It is so helpful when I am feeling strong anger in my body. The important thing is to always stay in touch with your body and your body sensations. I hold most of my emotions in my stomach. My stomach feels tight or it feels as though someone is squeezing it when I have strong emotions. . I hold my breath as well. Another learned response. Just wanted to point that out because it is very common to hold your breath when you are trying to hold back strong emotions. So, a reminder to breathe is always very important. Hanging reminders around the house is a great idea! Seems simple, but it is incredibly helpful! I use an iPod to move to. I have a very wide range of music. I almost always start with hip hop and very upbeat fast music. This may not work for some people, but it is what works for me. It is fun to experiment with different kinds of music to see what your body loves. Listen to your body, you will *feel* a difference when you like a certain type of music and when you don’t.

Stay in your body

I have noticed there are times when I just need to shake every body part. If my body feels tense and I feel as though I may explode with emotion, I shake each limb and each body part. I continue doing that until I feel the intensity lessen. Then I move move move. I usually move fast for at least 30 minutes, but do what feels right for you. After that, I move slower, more like the video in my last post. Honestly, it really depends on my body, so it is key to pay attention to your body, and to follow what it tells you. There have been numerous times when I just have to stop moving and allow myself to sob. This is a good thing! My body is releasing unprocessed, stuck emotions. Sometimes I go back and forth between dancing/moving and punching the punching bag. It feels so good! It is all about staying with yourself; staying in your body. Just feel the sensations, and breathe. It can be helpful to journal after moving if that feels good to you. Hopefully this was helpful. Please feel free to comment, ask more questions, or tell me about your practice. It is always helpful if we share with each other. I am grateful you are here reading, and I really hope this was helpful for you. Happy dancing and moving!!!! Also, if you want a guided body movement, I strongly recommend Gabrielle Roth’s song “Body Parts” on her CD called “Endless Wave”

 

Share

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Awareness, Healing & personal growth, healing from depression | No Comments »
RSS