We are not working towards enlightenment, we are coming home to ourselves.

Written by Amie on July 15, 2015 – 2:53 am -

“You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle.” ~Eckhart Tolle

 

Yes, the darkness exists

I want you to know that inside each of us is a seed that is a seed of the universe. Inside you is the whole universe in a seed. The universe is vast, it is perfection,it is pure,it is light,it is all. It is you. My favorite quote goes something like this, “you are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop.” I am telling you this because remembering this helped me remember who I really am even when I was feeling worse than horrible. When I would get those dark feelings and I could barely function, I would remind myself that the darkness was not who I am at my core, it is not my truth. Yes, the darkness exists, and it has been part of my journey, but it is not my core seed, the seed of the universe.

I promise you, there is nothing wrong with the core of who you are

We are born pure. Yes, I do believe it is possible to come here with some potential “baggage” from other lifetimes we have lived, but overall, we are born pure. What I mean is, I don’t believe we are born with darkness, I don’t believe babies are born depressed. I do believe some of us are born with a more sensitive nervous system, or are more calm, etc. I don’t want to get into that subject, but I want to acknowledge it. So, I want to assure you, the darkness you are feeling is not who you are, and you are not broken, there is nothing wrong with you. I promise you, there is nothing wrong with the core of who you are, with that beautiful seed that will exist in you forever. This can never ever be taken from you. Yes, it can be buried, it can be covered, it can even be hidden. But, it is always there, always.

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how to separate unhealthy or negative experiences from their core truth (seed)

The analogy that helps me is this; we have this seed in us that is who we truly are. The seed is unique for each of us, but always contains the entire universe within the seed. Which means we have everything we need, always. No matter what happens to us in our lives, we still always have the seed. Depending on our unhealthy life experiences or traumas, the darkness grows if we are unable to separate the experience from who we truly are (the seed within). Children, most of the time, do not have the life experience or awareness to know how to separate unhealthy or negative experiences from their core truth (seed). They will most likely *feel* the truth in their body without understanding what the feeling means. Most of the time a child is unable to decipher what the feeling is telling them,unless they have someone in their life who is able to help them navigate what is going on. I think of these unexamined experiences as cement that covers the seed. Each time we have an experience that is not processed, but instead it is repressed, it is like having concrete poured over the seed.

protecting the seed

If a child grows up in a dysfunction environment, and doesn’t have at least one person helping her understand her feelings, it is more likely she will have a lot of cement surrounding the seed, thus burying her true self. (I need to point out that everyone has negative experiences, and we all can make the choice to chip away the cement in order to unbury the seed within. I point this out because this isn’t a post blaming parents.We can all make the decision to heal our wounds so that we don’t pass on the dysfunction, and so we don’t navigate the world through a lens of our own wounds)The cement also serves the purpose of protecting the seed. What I mean is that if we are consistently exposed to dysfunctional behavior, such as abuse, neglect, etc, our seed goes into protective mode. Our seed instinctively knows to protect us.So, in this way, the cement actually helps us.

Taking care of your beautiful little seed must become your priority

When the day comes that we are able to navigate the world on our own, we can begin the process of chipping away the cement. I think of a sidewalk or a road where you see a little sprout popping up through the cement. The seed is resilient. It knows exactly what to do, and it will try very hard to help you remember who you truly are. It really depends on if you are ready to hear the message that you are a beautiful seed, you are perfection, everything is exactly as it should be. The seed will grow and grow and be seen more and more as you begin taking care of yourself. Once you begin the process of loving yourself and reminding yourself that you deserve a healthy life, your little seed will cheer and cheer until the day comes when you love yourself so much, you will no longer tolerate people in your life who do not respect you and who do not cheer for your seed to grow and to be healthy. Taking care of your beautiful little seed must become your priority. If someone does not see you or hear you, they may not be deserving of your energy.

You are the universe

The cement is not you. It is the negative experiences of your life. Each time you hear a negative message in your head, remind yourself, this is not the seed, it is the cement, and it was poured there without your consent. It was used to bury your truth. Talk to yourself, remind yourself of the universe inside, the seed that contains the whole univese. You are the universe. You truly are pure love. We are not working towards enlightenment, we are coming home to ourselves. We are uncovering the beautiful seed within, the seed that shines your unique self.

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Suppressing inner beauty and truth

Written by Amie on December 27, 2011 – 2:23 am -

holding in those sensitive, heartfelt feelings I feel

I had another a-ha moment the other day. I have had the same one before, but this felt like it reached a much deeper level of a-ha. (haha) I was getting ready to send a note back to someone who sent me an e-mail. I wanted my note to reflect the sincere heartfelt feelings I felt at that moment. Instead, I found myself questioning whether or not to send my note back exactly as I wanted it. For about 30 seconds my mind told me not to send my note as I had written because the other person might think I am being insincere (because it might sound “too nice”), or they may think I am weird for saying the words I wanted to say, or they may think I am wanting something in return from them. Wow, where did all of this come from, I asked myself. I went ahead and sent the note exactly as it came to me. Then, I pondered the messages I heard in my mind. It took about a minute to realize they were a part of my conditioning. I learned to protect my inner truth by holding in those sensitive, heartfelt feelings I feel when someone or something brings joy to my life. I had learned to cover up my heartfelt emotions when I witness something beautiful, witness someone expressing kindness to another person, hear a beautiful story, see a beautiful piece of art, hear a beautiful piece of music, or feel a deep connection with another person.

how deeply I feel things

I felt very sad about this realization. This a-ha moment felt like it hit a deeper level than when I discovered it a few years ago. A few years ago I came into the truth of seeing how deeply I feel things. Up until that point I believed the conditioned message that I was “too sensitive”, and that there was something weird about me for caring deeply for others (all living beings). I learned to shut down my inner truth so I would appear to be “like everyone else!” Sad. The other day I got to the deeper understanding of why I really needed to shut this side of me down. I was able to step back to see this as another way of protecting myself. I learned that when I show my true self-the one who is sensitive and compassionate and awake to others, most people could not meet me at that place in my heart. Everyone is on a different place in their journey, and sometimes seeing someone else’s truth can make a person feel too vulnerable. I understand this reaction. So, why would I want to continue giving away my sacred inner truth to people who aren’t capable of really “seeing” me? In order to protect this part of me, I had to learn to shut it off.

I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me 

I feel so much gratitude for the awareness I have at this point in my life. I feel so grateful for the change in my thinking that allows me to “see” those comments I was telling myself about worrying what someone will think of me. The truth is, I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me anymore. It is not my problem if someone thinks I am being “too nice”, or “too sensitive”. Those reactions are not really about *me*, they are the other person’s issue to deal with. Everyone is on a different place in their journey, and some people are not able to meet others in a place of open-heartedness (is that even a word?! It is now!). It can feel very scary for some people. I understand that, and I respect that. However, it will not stop me from being who I am and who I need to be. If I feel like telling someone I love them or that I appreciate them, I will do that. It is up to them how they respond to me. And, it is up to me how *I* respond to their response. Hope that makes sense!

Gaining self-love by showing inner beauty to those I trust

Over the past couple of years, I have started really trusting certain people with my inner beauty. I have learned to show my inner self to the outer world. I am careful who I show myself to however. When I meet people, I do so with an open heart and with love, but if I don’t feel safe around them, I will not show them the fullness of my heart. So, although I am very open to people, I also conserve my energy for only those I trust and feel safe being vulnerable with. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but I also go by the very true quote by Maya Angleou that says, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” So, it is possible to live with an open heart, but to protect yourself at the same time. I will not be open with someone who doesn’t care to see me as I am. It is that simple. I will give with all of my heart to those who are willing to be vulnerable and are willing to honor my inner beauty and truth. If there are people in your life who are not able to see you and accept you exactly as you are, it may be time to question whether or not they are deserving enough to be in your life.

 

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