The other side of depression….feeling alive again

Written by Amie on October 6, 2011 – 2:40 am -

Your depression can be healed

I keep sitting down to write and then I can’t seem to finish. I am going to try again! A friend of mine helped me see that I may be having a difficult time writing because I no longer suffer from depression. This is an incredible gift! This site began because it helped me to write about my journey with depression. So, maybe I just need to change the focus a bit. First of all, I want you to know that *your* depression can be healed. I promise you that. As long as you are willing to do the work, you can feel better. I feel so grateful for the way I feel right now. I honestly can say I have never felt better in my life. I have never felt this alive ever before. It is so obvious to me now that I was completely shut down for most of my life. I was depressed for many years. So, here I am….really feeling fantastic! Please don’t read that and get discouraged if you are feeling horrible right now. I remember feeling horrible and then reading something positive and just wanting to punch the screen. I would mumble under my breath some pretty nasty remarks to the person who was feeling good. I know, pretty helpful, huh? So, please stay with me here, and keep reading. My intention for this website has not changed. I truly want to help others who are suffering. I want to share the things that have gotten me to this much healthier place.

Homeopathy

I must give homeopathy a huge shout out because I believe that without it, I might still be struggling. I was very very depressed. I thought I was as low as I could go. I was wrong. My brother committed suicide. There was a lower place than where I was. I honestly didn’t think I could pull myself out of it. But, I did. With the help of an incredible therapist, an incredible homeopath, the best friends ever, family support (which is difficult when you are all suffering from the same trauma), and some other tools. However, the fuel for my recovery was homeopathy. It helped ignite my life force. It wasn’t fast and it wasn’t always easy, but it was the best thing I have ever done. And believe me, I have tried so many avenues. I knew that antidepressants were not an option this time. I realized that I had to *feel* and not try to push away my truth. Homeopathy fit the bill. It helped me to do all of the other things that have been instrumental in my healing. E-mail me if you need a recommendation for a homeopath.

I woke up!

The fact that you are searching the Internet and the fact that you landed here tells me that you are awakening. This is the most exciting thing ever!!! If you stay with yourself, and allow yourself to *feel*, you will heal your depression. Waking up is the beginning. Knowing that you don’t want to suffer anymore is key. Seeing things for what they truly are, and seeing people in your life for who they truly are keeps you moving on the path of awakening. My soul woke me up. The birth of my children began the process for me. I saw in them what I was missing in my life. The love I showered on them was the love I missed growing up. Their birth awakened something deep deep inside me. I was able to *feel* the giant hole inside me that needed to be filled. As time went on, I continued to grow. I continued to see things more clearly. I saw people in a different light. The most important thing is that I was truthful with myself. I started finally telling myself the truth of  what I felt and what I needed and what I like and dislike. This was huge! I had to learn how to allow all of this without holding on to the guilt and shame that was attached to it. 

I love myself now!

This is the most incredible feeling in the world! I can honestly say I am completely in love with myself now. And I do not feel an ounce of guilt saying that! It began with learning to nurture myself. I learned to do things that fed my soul, my spirit. I learned to tell people no! I learned to stay away from people who didn’t feed the goodness in me. Was it easy? Hell no!!!! But am I stronger? Hell yes!!! Do I know for sure I am a strong empowered woman? Hell yes!!!! It takes work. It takes learning to talk back to the voice inside your head that is feeding you lies. Trust me, the voices are not you! They are lies. Loving myself feels so wonderful, I can’t describe it. I meditate every day. I feel out of sorts without it. I exercise at least 5 days a week. All of these things happened because I was ready. I do not push myself to do any of it. It all comes natural now. I crave doing things that feel good. And, back to homeopathy-it is the driving force. I believe these things all come naturally to me now because I am more in balance mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. There is so much more, but I must go to sleep.

Contact me with questions, as I am truly here to help

 

You are love….you have the answers you need right inside you…..dig through the old lies and stories to re-discover the truth you were born with…..you are a beautiful soul…..you deserve to be here…..you deserve to feel joy every day……let go of the old stuff you have carried around for years…..question every single thing you tell yourself…..only keep it if you know it to be 100% true….that means you have to prove that it is true! Do something for yourself that feels good…right now….love…

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Posted in Awareness, Depression, Healing & personal growth, Homeopathy, Meditation, Nurture yourself | 8 Comments »

Meditation and connection to my truth

Written by Amie on December 8, 2009 – 1:40 am -

I professed to know myself

It is rare that I miss a day of meditation. I feel as though a part of me is missing if I happen to miss a day. I really believe that meditation has been one of the most important tools in recovering from depression. My depression was severe because of so many things, but the main one was the fact that I was completely cut off from my inner self. I always professed to “know myself”. Boy was that a mistake! I had no connection with the quiet voice inside me. Therefore, I was basically a body walking around going through the motions of being alive. There were times when I was connected in with those around me of course; my husband, my children etc. But, I was pretty much cut off from myself and my truth.

child-meditating

Stay busy to avoid feeling

I think this is true for so many people. Many people learn to shut down their connection because it becomes too painful to leave the connection open. They start becoming who they believe they are supposed to be. Many people keep themselves so busy because it is scary to think of spending quiet time alone. If we are quiet with ourselves, our truth starts to emerge, and many things may be revealed that had been forgotten. It is not always easy work, but it is necessary if you are to heal from depression. We must become attentive to what is going on within us. Honestly, when I first started down this healing path, I heard people talking about their needs, desires, and their discoveries about their truth. This sounded like they were speaking a language I had never heard.

Will fireworks go off when I meditate?

When I started meditating, I expected huge things to happen. I thought I would have these incredible insights every time I decided to meditate. Heck, I didn’t have a clue how to meditate. I sat and waited, resisting my thoughts, pushing them away. So, of course it felt as thought I was at war with myself. That didn’t feel good. I would give up and then come back a few weeks later to try again. Meditation is being with yourself, listening. It doesn’t have to be a war, but sometimes it is. The more I meditate, the quieter my mind is. I keep reminding my mind that I am giving it time to rest. After all, it works triple time on some days!

A sense of connection

Lately, my meditations are deeper, and I am able to sense a connection that gives me information. There were many times I felt angry that I didn’t sense this connection. When I let go of my expectation for a certain outcome, things got much better. When I allow myself time to just be, things go better. I feel a deep reassurance that I am OK. It feels good. I believe that meditation is an innate need we all have. I also believe that each individual will begin meditating when the time is right. Not everyone is ready to spend time in quiet with themselves each day. I just know that in my experience, it is one of the best tools I have in my toolbox, and it has helped me more than words can say.

Check out Osho’s book called From Medication to Meditation, or Nothing Happens Next by Cheri Huber, or Present Moment Wonderful Moment by Thich Nhat Hanh just to name a few.

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