how your thoughts determine how you feel

Written by Amie on April 4, 2012 – 1:29 am -

what would it be like to be trapped in this box?

Imagine you are in a large box. A box that is big enough for you to stand in comfortably, but too tall for you to pull yourself out of. You are trapped in the box. If you reach up high, you can’t reach the top of the box. You are standing there wondering how in the world you will get out. It is too heavy to tip over, nobody can hear you screaming for help, and the box is too thick to punch a hole in. I am sure there are ways out, but please play along with me for a minute. Read this and then close your eyes and really focus your thoughts on what it would be like to be trapped in this box, or somewhere else that feels bad to you. What thoughts are going through your mind? What are you telling yourself? Are you telling yourself you will never get out, you are trapped, you will starve to death, you will die in this box, nobody will help you? This list goes on and on. How do you feel in your body when you really see yourself in the box trapped and unable to get out? Is your stomach tight? Are you starting to feel sick? Tune into what you would feel in your body if you really believe the thoughts you are telling yourself. When I do this, I feel as though it is really happening to me. If you don’t feel this way, then imagine a scenario that would make you feel just as hopeless or negative. Tell yourself things that validate this story. Now open your eyes and remind yourself that none of it is true, it is not happening to you even though your mind is telling you it is happening. The mind is incredibly powerful this way. It will give you all kinds of “evidence” pointing to these thoughts being true.

if your thoughts tell you horrible things,  you believe them, and then your body responds

I want you to see how you can easily convince yourself that the stories you tell yourself are true. Negative thoughts feed on each other, and before you know it, a deep depression has taken over again. Paying attention to what is being “said” in your mind is so very crucial to getting past depression. There were so many times in my past that I was convinced I would never feel better. I told myself things like, “I can’t do this”, “this is as good as I will ever feel”, “this sucks”. These thoughts all feed on each other, and your body responds by feeling sick, or your muscles tighten, your head may start aching….there are so many ways our bodies respond to negative thoughts. Now change the thoughts to things like “I can’t wait to go to my favorite store on Friday”, or “I love hearing my boys laugh and have fun”, or “I am so grateful I am able to take a warm bath”. Say anything that you know makes you feel good. Now notice the contrast…how did your body respond to the negative vs. the positive thoughts? Thoughts are who you are. If your thoughts tell you horrible things, you believe them, and then your body responds with the feeling of “depression”. Depression will continue because your soul knows these things are not true, but your mind is right there trying to convince you these thoughts are true.  Unfortunately, you believe the thoughts because that is what you learned to do. This is not your fault. Therefore, you feel miserable until you decide to work on remembering the truth that is within every single one of us. The truth that you are pure love. You have the power to make this decision at any moment you choose. You can make this decision as many times as you need to.

just as the negative thoughts were learned, they can be un-learned

Don’t believe everything you think! I have this saying hanging in my house. Some people are confused by it at first. Many people believe that if they are thinking something, that makes it true. This is absolutely not true! The negative thoughts in our minds are never true. We were not born to hate ourselves. We were born to love ourselves and others. The self-hate that goes on in your mind is the conditioning you learned. You were not born with these horrible thoughts. These are learned. So, just as the negative thoughts were learned, they can be un-learned. It takes work, with part of the process being having the willingness to feel your emotions as they arise. If you don’t feel your emotions, you will stay stuck in the negative thought process you have learned to use. When you avoid feeling your emotions, you are numbing a part of your true self. When you numb your true self, you will be depressed. You can pretend for awhile, and some people pretend their whole lives. If this is the case, then it may feel as though you are just going through the motions of being alive. In reality, it is like dying a slow death. In order to get through depression, it takes courage and willingness.

our whole mood changes because we believe the thoughts

I am currently reading and listening to teachings by the spiritual teacher Gangaji. She has made the statement several times to “just stop”. Stop identifying with the thoughts in your mind, stop searching for “the answer”, stop looking for enlightenment, just STOP! It took me awhile to really understand what she was trying to say. Now I see, (at least I think I do!). Just stop the mind. Your mind is telling your stories to keep you stuck. Instead, feel your emotions, observe the thoughts, and most definitely do not follow the thoughts! They are just thoughts! We get into the trap of believing our thoughts, and then our whole mood changes because we believe the thoughts! We truly do have everything we need right inside of us. It takes a conscious effort to make the decision to begin questioning your thoughts to get back to the truth of what you have had inside all along. You have love, and you have the answers that you thought you could only find outside of yourself. When you continue believing your thoughts, and you continue following some external happening (such as looking for enlightenment, or looking for the magic answer to fix your depression) you will stay depressed. Instead, the next negative thought you become aware of, try saying to yourself….just stop…that is a story…just stop…it isn’t true. And then, notice how your body feels. You just took some power back, and doesn’t that feel good?! Enjoy and remember what that feels like! *This* is your true nature!! I promise you!

A video of Gangaji:

 

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Rediscovering the messages we are all born with

Written by Amie on April 17, 2010 – 9:24 pm -

Positive messages and how they become permanent in my brain

Falling back on the old messages that run through my head is easier than practicing and rediscovering the truth hidden underneath, but only because it is my mind’s habit. It feels familiar, but it doesn’t feel good. I want to wake up each morning knowing deep in my heart that I am loved unconditionally, and I belong here. I do know these things on an intellectual level, but my body does not completely believe them *yet*. Some days, yes, I know without a doubt that these things are true. Other days when I am not feeling as great, not so much. I am really noticing that I need to practice, practice, practice. I used to think positive messages would just start coming to me automatically, as I started healing past issues. But this is not the case. I have talked so much on here about those negative voices that are *not* who we are, and are not true. What I know for sure now, is that it took years for these beliefs to take hold, and it may take years for my true beliefs to overpower the negative, untrue ones. But I am so optimistic because I do have many days and sometimes weeks and maybe even a whole month where I go each day *feeling* that I am unconditionally loved, and I have a purpose here. So, I absolutely know that I am on the right track.

Practice the new beliefs

I am able to step back and see that just like I “practiced” the negative thoughts in my head, even if it was on an unconscious level, I must practice the new beliefs. Now that I know *for sure*, that my thoughts are not me, I am able to keep moving forward with this new practice of rediscovering my truth. I know that I was born with joy and love coursing through my veins. Now it is my job to get back to that, and have deep feelings of this vibrating in every cell in my body. I know that I will revert back to the old stuff, that is part of the process. But the practice of saying nice things to myself and treating myself with love and compassion helps me push the old stuff back to where it belongs. It does not belong in my head at all. Yes, it is a part of me in the sense that I can’t change the things that made these thoughts show up. However, I can start right now, today, and know that I am not those thoughts. My thoughts are generated by my mind, or the ego. My mind helps me out a great deal, but it can also get in the way of my flow of joy. I have to train it in goodness rather than it training me with negativity. Sounds like I have multiple personalities?! I don’t, but I do sort of think of my mind as being separate from who I really am. My mind is something I utilize to help me in many daily activities, that’s a given. However, when it comes to describing who I am, well, it doesn’t always help. This is when I practice separating my mind from *me*. I am in charge, and I now know that I decide what my mind tells me.

Thanks, but no thanks

This is when the practice comes in handy. If my mind is telling me something that I now know to be untrue, I listen, but I don’t believe it. I don’t try to push it away, I just say, thanks for that, but I no longer believe that to be true. Then, I say what I know *or want* to feel true, and I say it many times. I notice now that I am remembering to question the thoughts more often, rather than just letting them run ramper through my mind, and believing them just because they are there! Just because they are there does not mean they are true. They are there because my mind learned them and kept repeating them, making them feel like reality. What a relief to know that the negative thoughts and beliefs are just a bunch of conditioned lies that I didn’t know to question!

You are loved!

The bottom line is, I must love myself

There are so many people with great books and lessons about how to get rid of negative messages. I have read most of them! I feel so incredibly grateful for the path I found. I have taken things from each book and used what felt good to me at the time. I learned that no matter what I do, none of the techniques or lessons or ideas will ever help me unless I start at the place of loving myself. I know this for sure. If I don’t love myself, I can everything there is that “looks good on paper”, but I will not heal unless I love myself first. A catch 22, right? How do I get to the place of loving myself?

I was born with loving messages

There are so many suggestions out there, but I keep coming back to the same few processes that help. The most important thing for me is to give myself a break! When the judgments begin, I practice noticing them, and then giving my mind the true statement. This is crucial for me right now. I keep reminding myself that I was born with these messages, and they are there inside me, I am in the process of redisovering them. The next thing is that I meditate every day. I give myself time to just *be* with myself. No pressure, no obligations, just sitting with myself giving myself the time to enjoy my own company. The other thing that helps is to remember to be grateful for what I do have. This has become a very important ingredient in my life. When I was feeling horribly depressed, it was difficult to feel grateful for anything. I knew I *should* feel grateful because I am very fortunate. But when I felt such self hatred, I could not wrap my head around feeling grateful. When I am feeling down these days, I still try to make myself write down things I feel grateful for. Even if I don’t feel it. Another thing I do is to make sure I do something every single day that is special for me. Even if it looks like something very small, like buying a purple pen because I love pens and I love purple! My newest joy is rocking in my hammock chair. It is so nurturing! I use all kinds of visions of who or what is rocking me. It is awesome! The biggest thing is to try to be in each moment right as it is happening. Not always easy, but I try to use reminders, like my reminder bracelet. It helps me if my mind is venturing off somewhere to come back to what is right now. I also practice *going to* my body when I start feeling off. I ask my body instead of my head what it is feeling. I go for the body sensations first, and they usually have a story to tell me. I have to say that homeopathy and EFT have played an enormous role in helping me re-learn the truth of who I really am. I am loved unconditionally, and I my birthright is joy and love. Also, changing my story and using law of attraction is huge in my life.

Nurturing yourself after neglecting yourself is not always easy

I want to acknowledge how difficult it can be to start nurturing yourself after years of neglecting your true self. It has taken me years to get to where I am, and I don’t always feel as good as I do right now. In fact, if you read a few posts back, you will see that I was full of anger just a short time ago. I want to say this because if you came to this website looking for help with healing depression, I want you to know that I understand how difficult it can be. During those times when I was very down, I would go to a website and read joyful things, and I would feel so frustrated, and the stories in my mind would play on. “I’ll never get better, this person is so far ahead of me,  I will suffer for the rest of my life, etc etc.” I know what that is like. I am here to share what has worked for me, and I really hope that you can pull something from my experiences that might help you on your journey. You are loved just because you are you. That’s the truth, and I hope you are able to find that inside yourself soon.

*Under featured videos there are some great quotes by Eckhart Tolle. Enjoy, and take it in.

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