Rediscover the spark of life you were born with

Written by Amie on June 7, 2012 – 1:07 am -

You have the power to change the course of your life

In order for life to begin flowing through you again, you must learn to listen to that voice that tells you, “No! I don’t like this”, or “I don’t want to do this anymore”, or, “I really don’t enjoy this experience”, or “I really love being with this person”, or “I really love doing xyz.” Start honoring that voice! *That* voice is your spark of life, and once you open up to it, it will lead you to experiences that are for your highest good! You will start becoming aware of opportuities you may not have noticed before. We are all energy, and we must let our spark of life force energy flow through us in order for us to feel alive and healthy. If you are shut down to life, you are shut down to everyone, everything, and all opportunities for growth. If you are shut off from your life energy, your flow of aliveness, you can’t feel anything. You turn off your truth. This is the reason depression is rampant! You have been conditioned to shut down who you really are in order to become someone or something that is “more acceptable” in the eyes of the society around you. It is normal to feel very angry about this!!! It happens within our families as well. We have to turn off who we are in order to be what our family needs us to be. And, since the majority of people come from dysfunctional families, (sorry, but I believe that statement to be true),we must learn to adapt to the dysfunction of the family. We receive messages about ourselves based on the level of dysfunction our parents and past generations have. This in’t anybody’s fault, it has just been the evolution of humanity up to this point. But the key now is to BECOME AWARE! You have the power to change the course of your life, which also has the potential to change the course of your family! Awareness is the beginning! Don’t let people tell you that because so many people in your family are depressed, you must be too, and that you will just have to learn to live with it! That is a bunch of crap! Sorry, but it is! That is part of the dysfunction! Keep doing the same things, and we get the same results.

We received messages from many sources that told us who we really are was not acceptable

Earlier today I was remembering how closed off I felt from everything in life when I was in a deep depression. I was closed off to many people, most experiences, and really to life itself. It may not have looked that way to someone looking in from the outside. It looked like I was happy.  I didn’t realize how I had shut myself off from feeling anything at all.  All I knew is that I felt lifeless. I was just going through the motions of what I thought it meant to “be normal”.   We are all born with a spark of life energy. When I was depressed, that energy could no longer flow through me. Let me explain more. When a person is depressed, they become shut off from life energy. It is not uncommon for this to happen. If a person is severely depressed, their main goal is just to get through the day. So, life energy is shut off. When I say “life energy”, I mean “who you were really meant to be”. As children we lived in the moment, at least for a short time, hopefully. As we grew older, we received messages from many sources that told us who we really are was not acceptable, that we needed to be a certain way in order to live within the society we live in. So, slowly, our true self, the one we were born to be, started being covered up by who we thought we were supposed to be. Many people can continue on this way for the rest of their lives, basically just living, but not really being “alive”. There is a huge difference! Going through the motions of daily life, doing what we need to do to get by, this is not being alive! This is existing!

You always have a choice 

I did this for years. Many people do it. It is the norm of what we are taught is “the way to be”. Go here, do this, get this, do this, have these things, be this kind of person, say this, don’t say that…..etc etc….basically it is like being a robot who may or may not smile occasionally. Living this way means not having any time to feel anything. Keep yourself so busy and so focused on what has to be done next, that there is no time to tune into your inner life. It is always there, it never goes away. But it does get quiet if you never pay any attention to it. You were born with a spark of pure life energy! This is so exciting to me! It can never be taken from you, not ever! So, that is the great news! You always have a choice to look within to rediscover the spark of life that resides within you. No matter how old you are, no matter what you have been through, no matter how depressed you are or for how long, you can choose at any moment to reconnect with that spark of life within you! Being numb to life is a survival tool; a coping mechanism. When we are younger, we have to do this to survive our daily life if we don’t have anyone supporting the truth of who we really are. When we get older and have the freedom to live life our own way, we have to start questioning everything we were conditioned to believe about ourselves. I mean every single thing!!!!

dig deeper inside and really be honest about how fulfilled and connected you feel to life

There is a cure for depression, and it is called saying “no” to all of the BS we have been conditioned to believe. It is standing up and saying, *THIS* is who I really am, and *THIS* is how I am going to live my life. These are the things *I* believe, and I am going to live my life accordingly. Too bad if family members or friends don’t like it or disagree! It is your life, not theirs. Do you feel my passion?lol This is a very passsionate subject for me. Do you know why? Because I am in love with the person I found inside myself that I had forgotten about for what feels like a million years! I had to go through a lot of anger over the subject of ,”I can’t believe I had to hide this beauty for so many years. I have so much to offer this world, and so many years I had to hide that.” SO, please listen to me when I say that your depression is covering up an extraordinary, magnificent being!!! You are depressed because all of those negative experiences, messages, traumas, beliefs…all of the times you felt forced to conform so that you could fit in….are stuck in your body, and they overrule your true self right now. They have been in control for far too long.

Throw them away! Let them go!

These are the blocks to your inner beauty. Start little by little questioning every single thing you think in every single minute. Are they true?? Unless they are positive thoughts about yourself or things that lead to your growth, then they need to be disguarded. Throw them away! Let them go. Be gentle on yourself, this is not always an easy process. Little by little, your magnificence will emerge!!! Don’t believe the sayings, “this is the way I have always been,” or “my life is ok, I have food, clothes, shelter, and a family”……dig deeper inside and really be honest about how fulfilled and connected you feel. If there is emptiness and loneliness, your true life energy is turned way down. Become aware of what dreams or thoughts make you feel butterflies in your stomach, even if that dream feels impossible. Keep thinking about those things. Not in a way that you have to figure out right this second how to get them, just keeping them alive in you. *That* feeling is your truth, that feeling is *life* itself, that feeling is what you deserve to be feeling every single day! Really, I promise! It is possible, and it *will* happen, when you begin your journey of awareness. Question, question, question!!!!!

A video from Gangaji about self hatred:

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Acceptance,shedding the old,and lessons from a lizard!

Written by Amie on February 7, 2010 – 9:32 pm -

According to the growth charts……

Stay with me here, this isn’t completely about my new pet. So I have a new pet lizard…a bearded dragon to be exact. My son bought her from a breeder and took such great care of her. For some strange reason she hasn’t grown much since we’ve had her. According to the growth charts she should be at least double her size by now. My son was very disappointed, as he wanted a “normal” bearded dragon. He said he would like to return the dragon to the breeder and get one that is older and bigger, already growing normally. I have never considered myself a reptile kind of girl! I thought we would just return the little creature, and then find another one for my son. Somewhere along the line I became a wee bit attached to her. Maybe because I helped my son with ideas to get the little one to eat, changing the lighting….trying to get her to grow. Hmmm…..so I started dragging my feet on returning her to the breeder. Let’s just try one more thing….etc. etc.

Can I return her?

The day we were supposed to return her I felt really agitated and “off”. There was something pulling me to keep her. I went over and over it in my head…why in the world would I want to have a lizard? It must be because I just want to make her well, etc etc. I told my son I might keep her. He was a bit shocked at first. I told him I was going to go meditate and I would let him know what I decide. So, I meditated, and it was very clear to me that I should keep her. I surprised myself I do believe!  For some reason, it just felt like the right decision.

beardie

What is “enough”?

So, here I am…..me and a bearded dragon. She is cute for a lizard. Each day I would go in and try to feed her. She wasn’t real keen on eating much. I felt myself wanting so badly for her to “grow normally”, (whatever normal means!). She was doing everything else that classified her as being “normal”, she just wasn’t eating enough to make her grow enough. I tried everything I could think of, I wrote to other people who have bearded dragons, etc. I just kept thinking I wanted her to be healthy like a normal lizard. Then, it hit me. Why not just accept her the way she is? In every other way, she is healthy. She just isn’t growing at the normal rate. She startled easily, and still seemed nervous to be so young in a new place, all alone. Maybe she just needs me to accept her where she is, let her be who she is until she feels comfortable. I know, she IS a lizard, but I still felt like she was giving me this gift of accepting myself exactly where I am. Heck, if I can accept a lizard, I should be able to accept myself, right?

Accepting her and myself exactly where we are

The day after I decided to accept her exactly how she is, she ate triple the amount of crickets! I know, she is a lizard…but still. I feel like she is my mirror in some strange lizardy way. Today she shed her skin. Yet another lesson for me. I am in a huge place of growing right now, and seeing her shed her old skin and embrace the new reminds me that I need to do the same. I am shedding the old beliefs that do not work for me, and I am embracing and honoring my truth. One more layer gone, another layer closer to who I really am. I feel I am constantly comparing my “old” way of being, doing, and thinking, to my new, or rather my true way of being, doing, and thinking.

I am exactly where I’m supposed to be

I would never have thought a little lizard named Na’vi (I loved the Na’vi tribe in the movie Avatar!) could be a teacher. But she is. I think she actually grew a smidgen today too. But, if she did, or if she didn’t…I’m ok with her exactly how she is. She is growing exactly how she should be growing. How do I know this? Because that’s what is right now, so it must be the way it was meant to be. I also accept myself exactly as I am right now. I don’t need to be any further along, because where I am is where I am supposed to be. If I can accept a lizard for where she is on her journey, then I surely can accept myself for where I am. Crickets, anyone?

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