We are not working towards enlightenment, we are coming home to ourselves.

Written by Amie on July 15, 2015 – 2:53 am -

“You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle.” ~Eckhart Tolle

 

Yes, the darkness exists

I want you to know that inside each of us is a seed that is a seed of the universe. Inside you is the whole universe in a seed. The universe is vast, it is perfection,it is pure,it is light,it is all. It is you. My favorite quote goes something like this, “you are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop.” I am telling you this because remembering this helped me remember who I really am even when I was feeling worse than horrible. When I would get those dark feelings and I could barely function, I would remind myself that the darkness was not who I am at my core, it is not my truth. Yes, the darkness exists, and it has been part of my journey, but it is not my core seed, the seed of the universe.

I promise you, there is nothing wrong with the core of who you are

We are born pure. Yes, I do believe it is possible to come here with some potential “baggage” from other lifetimes we have lived, but overall, we are born pure. What I mean is, I don’t believe we are born with darkness, I don’t believe babies are born depressed. I do believe some of us are born with a more sensitive nervous system, or are more calm, etc. I don’t want to get into that subject, but I want to acknowledge it. So, I want to assure you, the darkness you are feeling is not who you are, and you are not broken, there is nothing wrong with you. I promise you, there is nothing wrong with the core of who you are, with that beautiful seed that will exist in you forever. This can never ever be taken from you. Yes, it can be buried, it can be covered, it can even be hidden. But, it is always there, always.

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how to separate unhealthy or negative experiences from their core truth (seed)

The analogy that helps me is this; we have this seed in us that is who we truly are. The seed is unique for each of us, but always contains the entire universe within the seed. Which means we have everything we need, always. No matter what happens to us in our lives, we still always have the seed. Depending on our unhealthy life experiences or traumas, the darkness grows if we are unable to separate the experience from who we truly are (the seed within). Children, most of the time, do not have the life experience or awareness to know how to separate unhealthy or negative experiences from their core truth (seed). They will most likely *feel* the truth in their body without understanding what the feeling means. Most of the time a child is unable to decipher what the feeling is telling them,unless they have someone in their life who is able to help them navigate what is going on. I think of these unexamined experiences as cement that covers the seed. Each time we have an experience that is not processed, but instead it is repressed, it is like having concrete poured over the seed.

protecting the seed

If a child grows up in a dysfunction environment, and doesn’t have at least one person helping her understand her feelings, it is more likely she will have a lot of cement surrounding the seed, thus burying her true self. (I need to point out that everyone has negative experiences, and we all can make the choice to chip away the cement in order to unbury the seed within. I point this out because this isn’t a post blaming parents.We can all make the decision to heal our wounds so that we don’t pass on the dysfunction, and so we don’t navigate the world through a lens of our own wounds)The cement also serves the purpose of protecting the seed. What I mean is that if we are consistently exposed to dysfunctional behavior, such as abuse, neglect, etc, our seed goes into protective mode. Our seed instinctively knows to protect us.So, in this way, the cement actually helps us.

Taking care of your beautiful little seed must become your priority

When the day comes that we are able to navigate the world on our own, we can begin the process of chipping away the cement. I think of a sidewalk or a road where you see a little sprout popping up through the cement. The seed is resilient. It knows exactly what to do, and it will try very hard to help you remember who you truly are. It really depends on if you are ready to hear the message that you are a beautiful seed, you are perfection, everything is exactly as it should be. The seed will grow and grow and be seen more and more as you begin taking care of yourself. Once you begin the process of loving yourself and reminding yourself that you deserve a healthy life, your little seed will cheer and cheer until the day comes when you love yourself so much, you will no longer tolerate people in your life who do not respect you and who do not cheer for your seed to grow and to be healthy. Taking care of your beautiful little seed must become your priority. If someone does not see you or hear you, they may not be deserving of your energy.

You are the universe

The cement is not you. It is the negative experiences of your life. Each time you hear a negative message in your head, remind yourself, this is not the seed, it is the cement, and it was poured there without your consent. It was used to bury your truth. Talk to yourself, remind yourself of the universe inside, the seed that contains the whole univese. You are the universe. You truly are pure love. We are not working towards enlightenment, we are coming home to ourselves. We are uncovering the beautiful seed within, the seed that shines your unique self.

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Who am I? The truth

Written by Amie on March 22, 2012 – 2:32 am -

I will believe the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful it is

“I will believe the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful it is.” This is a song/chant I learned the other day. How does it make you feel when you read it? Was your first thought something along the lines of, “I can’t call myself beautiful, that sounds arrogant”…..  The first part of the chant sounds believable, right? Then you get to the second part, and the negative thoughts come? I love the way these words make me really question where my thoughts are in the moment, and how I am feeling about myself. Something happens when I say these words and I am forced to really think about what they mean to me. Depending on how I am feeling, the words elicit different feelings for me. The first time I heard this song, I was in a really great place emotionally, so I was able to take it in and feel the truth in my body. The words are true for each and every one of us, without question. Sometimes we just forget this truth. Did you know you were born beautiful on every level?

being depressed does not mean you are sick

The truth is, you are beautiful. You were born with a purpose. Your job is to discover that purpose. This is what I am working on right now. I believe I know my purpose. Now I am growing into the space of knowing how to utilize my purpose for the greater good. Once I came to the place of discovering who I am and discovering my purpose, other parts of my life became more clear. Before I finish that thought, I want to be clear on what I am saying here. I most definitely do not have “the answer”. I don’t believe anybody does. I also don’t believe we ever stop evolving and changing. So, just because I am no longer depressed, does not mean I have “the answer”.  Depression isn’t something we have to be “healed” from because being depressed does not mean you are sick, or that there is something terribly wrong with you. I need to keep saying that because the point I truly hope you take away from this is that there is nothing wrong with you if you are feeling depressed. Depression is a gift that will allow you to remember the truth of who you really are, IF you keep coming back to your truth and allowing that truth to speak.

 You are not broken, there is nothing wrong with you, and there is not “one answer”

Okay, now I can move on to the rest of my thoughts here. The part of my life that became more clear was the part that showed me that my job in this life is not to “fix myself”. I was not broken, and neither are you. I promise you. Your job is not to “fix” yourself, as you are not broken. Your job is not to find that one answer that will finally bring happiness to your life. Your job is not to finally figure out “what is wrong with you”, so that your depression will go away. You are not broken, there is nothing wrong with you, and there is not “an answer”. But, don’t listen to me, listen to you. You *do* have all of the answers inside you right now. You really do. Because, guess what? You can believe the truth about yourself, no matter how beautiful it is. Because, the truth *is* so very beautiful!!! You are one part of the whole, and something is missing when you don’t show up as yourself. The good news is that “the whole” is very patient. It will keep nudging you until you remember the truth of who you really are. And, when you are ready, you will *feel* your beauty, and you will know, without a doubt, that yes, you are beautiful.

I *knew* something was wrong with me

When I was in a deep depression, I *knew* without a doubt that there was something flawed about me (or so I “thought”). I knew something was wrong with me  (or so I “thought”). I know now that these are both thoughts, not truths. These are thoughts about myself that I bought into without even knowing I was buying into them. They seeped into my being from outside sources and experiences. Now I know, *without a doubt* that even in my deepest darkest “depression”, there was nothing wrong with me, and I was most definitely not flawed. I know this for sure. The reason I was depressed was because my truth was hidden from me. All of the thoughts and conditioning I received were covering my truth. I was buying into (unknowingly) the lies about myself and I didn’t know to question these thoughts. The truth is that I am one part of the whole, I am perfect as I am, and I am beautiful.  And, I am not arrogant for saying that. The thoughts, beliefs, and conditioning I received have nothing to do with who I really am.  I find it so sad that we have been taught to tone ourselves down, or dim our light, so to speak. To show our true selves does not make us arrogant! Showing our true selves makes us who we really are…exactly what the world needs….for everyone to show their true beauty and strength.

Whenever I hide a part of who I am, I am short changing everyone, especially myself

I learned to stop searching for an answer that doesn’t exist. Instead, I learned to speak my truth as often as possible, and to process my feelings as they arise. Of course, this doesn’t mean saying every single thing that comes to mind! I just mean that I want speaking my truth to be the norm, even if those around me don’t particularly like it. My journey unfolds exactly as it is supposed to as long as I am willing to stay with the truth of each moment. This may not always be possible, so I don’t want to give the impression that I think I stay in the moment every single moment of my life. I’m sure I don’t, but I do know that I am now aware of when I stay in the moment and when I leave it (sometimes after the fact I realize I chose to leave the moment). I am a work in progress, and always will be. Whenever I hide a part of who I am, I am short changing everyone, especially myself.

the depression I experienced was a long term, chronic feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness

When I thought I was “healing my depression”, what I was really doing was remembering my true self. So, this is what I mean when I say there is nothing wrong with you if you are feeling depressed. The word depressed is just a word used to describe the feeling we feel when our soul is screaming out in pain. Our soul is screaming to us that we are not living an authentic life. We are hiding our truth, and we are believing the thoughts and conditioning we received verbally and non-verbally over the years. (Just to clarify, there are other circumstances for depression, usually termed “situational depression”, but I am talking about chronic depression that doesn’t seem to have a “cause”). I am talking about when you feel as though your life doesn’t matter, and it is almost too painful to want to continue hanging out here. Again, this can be a feeling one has, due to the death of a loved one, a painful break up etc. The depression I have experience with was a long term, chronic feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness. Years of this. I just want to clarify. I know and feel the truth of who I am.  I know that there was not something inherently wrong with me. And I know there is not something inherently wrong with you. I think depression is your incredibly intelligent body and soul telling you that you are beautiful, and that it is time for you to remember this.

Stop looking everywhere else, and focus on what you feel 

 I am hoping this will encourage you to stop the search for the magic answer because it truly doesn’t exist. The magic answer I can give you is that your life in unfolding exactly as it should be. I can tell you that if you are willing to dig around inside yourself, and feel the truth(not the lies and dysfunction you have been conditioned with) , you are on your way to remembering the truth of who you are. I am saying you are not broken, so you don’t need to be fixed. If you allow yourself to FEEL all of your truth as it presents itself to you, you will begin seeing and remembering your beautiful self. Depression is a wake up call, and if you listen to it and you are gentle with yourself, you will be rewarded with looking in the mirror and seeing the most beautiful person you have ever seen! You will see the best version of yourself you have ever seen! I am not talking about physically. I am talking about the whole package; physical, emotional, and spiritual. Inner that matches the outer. Whole. You will be back to the perfection you were born with. This is what every single person deserves. Stop looking everywhere else, and focus on what you feel inside. I am not saying this work is easy, because the truth is not always easy. It will be painful at times. But it is so worth it.

“There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle.”—Deepak Chopra

 

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