We are not working towards enlightenment, we are coming home to ourselves.

Written by Amie on July 15, 2015 – 2:53 am -

“You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle.” ~Eckhart Tolle

 

Yes, the darkness exists

I want you to know that inside each of us is a seed that is a seed of the universe. Inside you is the whole universe in a seed. The universe is vast, it is perfection,it is pure,it is light,it is all. It is you. My favorite quote goes something like this, “you are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop.” I am telling you this because remembering this helped me remember who I really am even when I was feeling worse than horrible. When I would get those dark feelings and I could barely function, I would remind myself that the darkness was not who I am at my core, it is not my truth. Yes, the darkness exists, and it has been part of my journey, but it is not my core seed, the seed of the universe.

I promise you, there is nothing wrong with the core of who you are

We are born pure. Yes, I do believe it is possible to come here with some potential “baggage” from other lifetimes we have lived, but overall, we are born pure. What I mean is, I don’t believe we are born with darkness, I don’t believe babies are born depressed. I do believe some of us are born with a more sensitive nervous system, or are more calm, etc. I don’t want to get into that subject, but I want to acknowledge it. So, I want to assure you, the darkness you are feeling is not who you are, and you are not broken, there is nothing wrong with you. I promise you, there is nothing wrong with the core of who you are, with that beautiful seed that will exist in you forever. This can never ever be taken from you. Yes, it can be buried, it can be covered, it can even be hidden. But, it is always there, always.

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how to separate unhealthy or negative experiences from their core truth (seed)

The analogy that helps me is this; we have this seed in us that is who we truly are. The seed is unique for each of us, but always contains the entire universe within the seed. Which means we have everything we need, always. No matter what happens to us in our lives, we still always have the seed. Depending on our unhealthy life experiences or traumas, the darkness grows if we are unable to separate the experience from who we truly are (the seed within). Children, most of the time, do not have the life experience or awareness to know how to separate unhealthy or negative experiences from their core truth (seed). They will most likely *feel* the truth in their body without understanding what the feeling means. Most of the time a child is unable to decipher what the feeling is telling them,unless they have someone in their life who is able to help them navigate what is going on. I think of these unexamined experiences as cement that covers the seed. Each time we have an experience that is not processed, but instead it is repressed, it is like having concrete poured over the seed.

protecting the seed

If a child grows up in a dysfunction environment, and doesn’t have at least one person helping her understand her feelings, it is more likely she will have a lot of cement surrounding the seed, thus burying her true self. (I need to point out that everyone has negative experiences, and we all can make the choice to chip away the cement in order to unbury the seed within. I point this out because this isn’t a post blaming parents.We can all make the decision to heal our wounds so that we don’t pass on the dysfunction, and so we don’t navigate the world through a lens of our own wounds)The cement also serves the purpose of protecting the seed. What I mean is that if we are consistently exposed to dysfunctional behavior, such as abuse, neglect, etc, our seed goes into protective mode. Our seed instinctively knows to protect us.So, in this way, the cement actually helps us.

Taking care of your beautiful little seed must become your priority

When the day comes that we are able to navigate the world on our own, we can begin the process of chipping away the cement. I think of a sidewalk or a road where you see a little sprout popping up through the cement. The seed is resilient. It knows exactly what to do, and it will try very hard to help you remember who you truly are. It really depends on if you are ready to hear the message that you are a beautiful seed, you are perfection, everything is exactly as it should be. The seed will grow and grow and be seen more and more as you begin taking care of yourself. Once you begin the process of loving yourself and reminding yourself that you deserve a healthy life, your little seed will cheer and cheer until the day comes when you love yourself so much, you will no longer tolerate people in your life who do not respect you and who do not cheer for your seed to grow and to be healthy. Taking care of your beautiful little seed must become your priority. If someone does not see you or hear you, they may not be deserving of your energy.

You are the universe

The cement is not you. It is the negative experiences of your life. Each time you hear a negative message in your head, remind yourself, this is not the seed, it is the cement, and it was poured there without your consent. It was used to bury your truth. Talk to yourself, remind yourself of the universe inside, the seed that contains the whole univese. You are the universe. You truly are pure love. We are not working towards enlightenment, we are coming home to ourselves. We are uncovering the beautiful seed within, the seed that shines your unique self.

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Waking up is hard to do and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

Written by Amie on March 31, 2015 – 2:23 am -

waking up to a new reality

It is not easy waking up to realize everything you have believed about your life is no longer true. Many people judge those who say that are awake or who are in the process of waking up, not really understanding what is meant by “being awake”. I know I was asleep to my truth until a few years ago. I started waking up to a new reality after my kids were born. I began working on my inner world. After my brother died 8 years ago, I woke up to an even deeper truth. One of the truths I soon realized is that we are each on a journey, and we are each waking up at different speeds. Some may not wake up in this lifetime. For one reason or another, this is not the time for their awakening. I understand this, but it still isn’t easy to live with sometimes.

Why are we not encouraged to research and question

When we wake up, we are forced to begin seeing things in a whole new way. I woke up to the fact that everything I learned (or was force-fed) about religion is not true. Nothing I was taught makes any sense to me. I always hated going to church but I didn’t know why. Now I know I hated going to church because my true self was saying this makes no sense! Shouldn’t this experience feel good? Why do I feel like a shameful guilty person each time I go? Why is this man standing in front of all of us “sinners” treated like he is better than those he preaches to? Why do we believe he has all of the answers? Why are we not encouraged to research and question and then decide what we feel best fits our truth? This is comical to me now! How easily we are led to believe nonsense. How easily we hand over our souls to someone deemed one of god’s chosen ones. How in the world can these people know the history of the world? Were they there from the beginning? Whose interpretation are we believing? Why are there so many versions? Why are many of the people who claim to live by the bible some of the most judgmental people I have ever met/seen in my life! Why are some of the messages I learned from being around “christian” people, “do as I say, not as I do. The rules I tell you to live by only apply to me if its convenient for me at that time. Just make sure you appear to be a “good” person, your actions don’t have to match what you say you believe.”

This is when I wonder about people

I could probably go on and on….but you get the idea. I am not here to bash religions. I am saying that for me, it doesn’t make sense to just believe someone else’s  ideas without researching and deciding what makes sense to me. I am quite tired of people using religion as a shield to cover up their anger and dysfunction, while trying to act kind and happy. I am quite tired of people using the excuse “we will pray for you”, rather than trying to take action, or actively work out a situation that feels too uncomfortable. If so-called religious people are non-judgmental and loving and accepting (you know, like they say jesus was), how in the world did a law just pass in Indiana that says businesses can now discriminate against gays, lesbians, and apparently anyone they describe as sinners and who these people believe will burn in hell for their sins? Those who are not worthy of their definition of, “god approved people”. This is when I wonder about people. How are you human? How is this okay? How can you justify this? It is difficult to not just give up on this crazy world.

I was shocked to see I hardly had any of my own thoughts and beliefs

This is another reason why waking up is not easy. I didn’t see these things as clearly as I do now. I could feel in my body that certain things did not feel good to me, but as usual, I assumed there was just something wrong with me. When you keep hearing ” you don’t believe THAT do you? over and over as a child, (and into adulthood!), it makes for serious confusion. Waking up means questioning everything about your life, not just religion. Once I started digging around through my thoughts and beliefs, I was shocked to see how brainwashed I was. I was shocked to see I hardly had any of my own thoughts and beliefs about my own life!  The ones I did have, I talked myself out of. I told myself I was a bad person for feeling that way. I couldn’t believe how my “go-to” was to think I was crazy and to think something was deeply wrong with me! It can sometimes be easier to numb out, or to self medicate in order to avoid feeling our truth. The reality can feel pretty harsh when a clear picture emerges. The difference between numbing out when you are awake versus numbing out when you are asleep is that when you numb out while awake, you are aware you are doing it. When you are asleep, you just numb out because that is just what you’ve always done.

If you are depressed, there is a very very good chance you are not feeling your truth

I am here to say, “question everything you have been taught to believe, especially if you feel it in your body that something just doesn’t feel quite right”. Question everything, even if it goes against what your family, friends,community, and world believe! Question everything, even if it means letting go of things in your life that make you feel terrible. It is okay to let go of things that don’t feel healthy to you. Waking up means seeing and acknowledging the way things really are, the way things feel to *you*. Don’t let anyone guilt you or shame you into being a certain way. If you are depressed, there is a very very good chance you are not feeling your truth. There is a very very good chance you are repressing your true self. There is a very very good chance you are angry with yourself or disappointed with yourself for not being able to just “be like others”. (This is a really good thing! But please be kind to yourself, and give your feelings a voice) Waking up is not easy. It sometimes feels very hard. It can at times feel isolating. But it is life changing, in really really good ways. It is learning to love yourself exactly  as you are. Once you love yourself, you will no longer be willing to go along with someone else’s ideas or beliefs unless they feel right *to you*.

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