Love yourself, heal yourself; love everyone, heal the planet

Written by Amie on June 13, 2013 – 2:25 am -

65% of people are unhappy

The energy in the universe is so heavy right now. I feel it on a daily basis. I believe that if each individual person can work on healing themselves, then the whole planet will shift. In fact, I believe we are in the midst of a huge shift of consciousness right now. I believe that the negative energy of each individual is fueling the negative chaotic happenings in the world at this time. And, people are at a very heightened stage of negativity. So many people are depressed. I heard a statistic the other day that said 65% of people are unhappy. Things are happening more rapidly, and time feels as though it is moving faster. Things in the political arena have gone haywire, and people are doing crazy things. People are desperately trying to hang on to the “old way” of doing things, which is not working, but many are having a difficult time letting go. With all of this being said, I think this is a good thing. Negative, traumatic, hateful, old beliefs and patterns, old ways of being with each other that are not nurturing, sadness, grief, etc….all of these things are coming up in people because the universe wants us all to heal. These things are coming up so that together, we can work on healing ourselves which in turn will heal the planet. The unhealthy state of the planet is equal to the unhealthy state of the human population. When we are able to heal our self-hate and judgment of one another, and instead come together to listen to and love each other, the planet will heal. Every time a person heals themselves, more love is put into the universe. When groups of people come together in mediation and/or prayer, healing for the whole universe happens. Focusing on loving ourselves is the same as loving other people. The more we love ourselves. the more we love others, and the more the planet heals. Love heals.

permission_to_shinekellyraeroberts

(this beautiful creation is by Kelly Rae Roberts. My sister gave me this, and it is so special to me)

YOU ARE THE MIGHTY OCEAN IN A DROP

In order to get to self love, we must look at the darkness within. It can be scary, it can be painful, and there may be a lot of grief to get through. But each time you peel back a layer of darkness, you put more love into your soul and more love into the soul of the universe. You are a piece of the whole. This is one of my favorite quotes:  “YOU ARE NOT JUST A DROP IN THE OCEAN. YOU ARE THE MIGHTY OCEAN IN A DROP.’ by Rumi.  It is so true. We are each other, we are the universe, we are every single being, plant, water, animal, everything. So when we hurt ourselves, we hurt everyone and everything. When we love ourselves, we love everyone and everything.  *This* is how powerful you really are. I promise you. When you get through the conditioned lies that you have lived with up until now, you will see your pure loving soul. You will see how bright your light is shining right inside you. You are depressed for a reason. The reason is that it is your time to heal so that you can be a light to others, to help them see their light. You are not the stories you have been told, you are not the pain you have endured, you are not the mean hateful accusations that others have spewed at you. Each and every one of us is born pure love. Over the years we are dealt different levels of lessons. Some we label painful, some we label traumatic, some we label horrible, etc. But all of these things made you who you are today. And you are perfection. If you can find it in your heart to face the darkness, do your work to overcome the lies and untruths someone else put on you, then you will begin to see the beauty inside you.

each of us has the responsibility of healing our own pain

When others lash out at you, it is their emotional pain talking.  Remind yourself that it is their emotional pain being expressed externally. They feel so horrible inside, that they aren’t able to contain it or express it in a healthy way, so they may lash out at others. It is not about you. It is best to move away from them if they continue to do this. It is not your responsibility to take on anyone else’s pain. Each of us has the responsibility of healing our own pain. In fact, we are the only ones who know our own pain and suffering. One factor of depression may be the result of taking on others pain and suffering. Others can be helpful and supportive, but we have to feel the pain, and allow the process to evolve. Sometimes, it is too painful, and one may choose to stay in denial. It is understandable. What I am saying is that if one wants to live a fully awakened life, sharing and loving with others, the hard work has to be done. Living is very different than just surviving your day. Fully living means to feel and be in the moment as it happens. Depression and anxiety can be overwhelming when our pain takes over. I understand this completely. And this is the reason that self compassion and self love have to practiced. Loving self talk has to the first step in healing. You have been beating yourself up for way too long. And, you don’t deserve to have someone else’s negative self talk running through your head as though it is truth. Negative self talk is the accumulation of dysfunctional behavior, other people’s emotional pain, and conditioned messages you picked up from traumatic or very stressful events in your life. You were not born with negative self talk. It was learned. And the awesome news is that it can be unlearned! I promise you!!! Little by little, or sometimes big by big, this self talk can be quieted and loving, nurturing talk can replace it. It takes awareness and practice, while you are working on peeling away the layers of untruths, and working through stressful traumatic experiences.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”~the Buddha(although many say the Buddha didn’t say this, I still love the quote!)

 

begin loving yourself right in this moment, even if it feels fake

I know how difficult depression is, I promise you, I have been so low I didn’t think I would survive. But I am here to tell you, you are pure love, you can heal, and there is nothing wrong with you. Right now, you are already perfect. Begin loving yourself right in this moment, even if it feels fake. Nurture yourself every single chance you get, even if it feels undeserved. Reach out to those you feel connected to. Distance yourself from those who hurt you, unless they are actively working on healing their own pain. If you choose to have them in your life, set boundaries to protect yourself from negativity and hateful words and actions until they can meet you in a healthy place. You can still have compassion for them without allowing them to hurt you. Give yourself time and space and love and nurture and connect with those who love and support you. Self love takes practice. Write yourself loving reminders, hang pictures that remind you to love and nurture yourself, read books that remind you to love yourself. Take time to process the experiences in your life that hurt you but remain repressed. Find a therapist who can gently help you through the process. We are all human and we all have emotional baggage and pain. It is what we decide to do with the pain that will determine how much love will be in our lives. Love yourself, heal the planet. You are loved!

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the need to feel connected; learning self love and self compassion

Written by Amie on April 19, 2013 – 1:05 am -

feeling safe to express who you really are

Underneath the feelings of depression, sadness,guilt,shame,grief, (and I believe most emotions), is the need to feel connected to ourselves and to others. When I was depressed, I was completely shut off from myself and from others. When I was depressed, I would isolate myself. What I really needed was someone to be there with me, holding me and reassuring me. Sadly, I felt I didn’t deserve to have this, and I also felt that nobody would want to be there for me anyway. So I was not able to ask for what I needed. I believe most people (people who are not in touch with their true feelings) feel too ashamed that they have the need to be connected to others. It makes them feel weak to need other people. When I say “connected”, I mean in an authentic way. I mean being able to feel and to express your deepest, most sacred feelings. I mean feeling safe to express who you really are.  What I was truly craving when I was feeling the most hopeless, was to have  someone there with me to witness the emotions I was having, and to be present with me, without trying to “fix it”. Instead, I felt guilt, shame, and self-hatred because I couldn’t “feel better” on my own. I felt as if something was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I just “snap out of it”, or “find something positive to focus on”. Well, now I know why.

our  emotions trigger a reaction inside them

Most of us were conditioned to shut off our emotions and to believe that we “shouldn’t” need anybody when we are having “strong” emotions. People may tell us to reach out, but many people are not capable of handling us if we actually do reach out. Many people try to “say the right thing” by offering to be there for us, but when it comes down to it, we learn that it isn’t safe to express our true selves. We learn that when we  reach out we hear the message, “you will be OK”, “tomorrow is another day to start over”, “can you exercise, will that help?”, “maybe you should do…xyz”. Don’t get me wrong, most people are well intentioned.  The problem is that our  emotions trigger a reaction inside them, so they want that feeling to go away quickly, as it feels very uncomfortable. They want you to be “all better” so that things can feel “normal”, and so that they can go back to feeling comfortable. What we really need is just to be heard, validated, accepted, and loved. These feelings make us feel connected to each other.  Deep inside each of us is the need to feel connected and accepted, especially when we are feeling horrible about ourselves. When we share our sacred feelings with someone and the reaction we get back is one of dismissal, or of them trying to “fix” us, this reinforces our feelings of self-hatred. Even though they are attempting to make us feel better, we feel worse because we are not being heard and our feelings are not being validated. By trying to fix us, we get the message that something really is wrong with us. So, we decide that isolating ourselves is the answer. Who would want to be around someone who is depressed and can’t “get over it”? The self-hate messages convince us that we don’t deserve to be listened to and loved. (please keep reading, as there are most definitely ways to get your needs met in this situation).

even when we feel dead inside

Many of us were conditioned to hide our feelings, to hide until we “feel better”. We have been conditioned to put on a smile even when we feel dead inside. I remember  “acting as though everything is fine”. That is, until I couldn’t do that for one more second! I thought I would go completely insane if something didn’t change. I knew I needed people in my life who could love me and support me for being exactly as I am. I didn’t “mentally” think this, if that makes sense, but I *knew* in my body that I needed to be connected to others in a healthy way. I was craving like-minded, accepting people. In general, if a person could stop and really get in touch with their true feelings, they might notice how they are craving authentic connection with others. Imagine if it became “normal”, healthy behavior to answer the question, “how are you today?” with a REAL answer instead of, “fine, thanks, how are you?”! You might say, “well, actually I am feeling sad today because my cat is sick. I am afraid she might die, and I’m really scared.” Imagine if the person responded to you with authentic heartfelt words that really connected you to them. Imagine if that person looked you in the eyes and really “saw” your pain and your fear, without trying to make you “all better”. Imagine if they just simply connected with you in a way that you truly felt heard and validated?  Your truth is being shared with another being, and you feel connected and you feel safe. Imagine what this world would feel like!! Imagine how each of us would feel if we felt connected to all of the people in our lives in an authentic way. Imagine if we didn’t feel the need to hide or pretend how we are feeling in order to protect ourselves emotionally.

Depression is your soul’s way of saying, “enough beating”

Connection is at the heart of being human. Humans need authentic connection in order to be healthy. We can only pretend for so long. Sadly though, there are some people who go through their whole lives without having real connection. We are all craving authentic connection. I believe this 100%. But we have been shamed and guilted into believing we shouldn’t show our true selves. The way our world is set up right now, it is difficult to feel connected in an authentic way with others because most people are in “pretend you are happy” mode. This does a disservice to everyone for so many reasons. It is very difficult to be vulnerable with someone who appears to “have it all together”, or with someone who appears to have  no worries.  Remember, most people may be pretending, so try not to compare yourself with others. Healthy people do exist though, lol, I promise you that!  Some people who appear to be happy, are in fact, happy and healthy! As you become more and more aware of your own emotions and truths, you will begin to have a feeling about others who might be a safe choice for you to express your true self. The path to connection begins with self-love and self-compassion, two things most of us were not taught. We must begin the practice of being easy on ourselves. We have been shut down emotionally and beat down mentally, for possibly our whole lives. Depression marks the turning point. Depression is your soul’s way of saying, “enough beating”. “Enough self-hatred”. It is time to begin the journey to loving yourself enough to fill the need for connection. You deserve connection and love.

The Good News! Your Way to feeling and being connected

Now for the good news! When we don’t feel safe enough to express our true selves, we are not connected to anyone, let alone to life itself. Cutting ourselves off from our true selves and from others, we also cut ourselves off from our life force. I don’t believe it is possible to feel connected to anyone or anything in an authentic way unless you love yourself. You can only feel love and connection to the degree in which you feel it towards yourself. (two exceptions in my opinion, are children and animals) Life doesn’t want us to feel disconnected. It is there just waiting for us to reconnect. Learning self love and self compassion is key. I went from completely hating myself to being completely in love with myself. (it has taken several years, and I continue to grow stronger and stronger in this, as the journey goes on forever) I tell you this because I want you to know that this is possible for you too to love yourself no matter how hopeless you are feeling in this moment! It is a process of unlearning the self hate messages and beliefs that have been on “automatic” in your mind for probably most of your life. So, for me, I began with nurturing myself whenever I possibly could. I picked nurturing music, I read healing books, I found a loving therapist (who focuses on self-love and body/mind/spirit), and I became part of a healing, women’s growth group, I danced more, I got healing massages and learned all kinds of body healing techniques, and very importantly, I started working with a homeopath. I bought myself small gifts when I could; pens and pads of paper being my favorites. I asked the universe to bring healthy people into my life, and then I paid attention. I began meeting people who I feel safe being vulnerable with. I also stopped opening myself to people who weren’t yet capable of receiving me and my truth. It is a process to learn to take good care of ourselves. Becoming aware of your thoughts is imperative. When you hear self-hate in your thoughts, choose self-compassion instead. Have compassion for yourself as you would have for a small child or a loving pet. Talk to yourself as you would talk to them. Listen to the pain going through your head. It is painful to tell yourself hurtful thoughts. Give yourself compassion around this. Fill your thoughts with self-loving words, even if they don’t feel true. Someday they will, and you won’t need to say them anymore, your body will *know* them to be true, your body will *feel* them.

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