Taking back your power from depression

Written by Amie on February 6, 2012 – 1:20 am -

You are love….you have the answers you need right inside you…..dig through the old lies and stories to rediscover the truth you were born with…..you are a beautiful soul…..you deserve to be here…..you deserve to feel joy every day……let go of the old stuff you have carried around for years…..question every single thing you tell yourself…..only keep it if you know it to be 100% true….that means you have to prove that it is true! Do something for yourself that feels good…right now….tell yourself you are falling in love with…..YOU! 🙂

You have power!

Okay, here we go…….I have been having a bit of trouble writing lately because there is a tiny part of me that does not want to own my true power. I am right on the edge of stepping 100% into who I truly am. What am I afraid of? I am a tiny bit afraid of being seen as a “know it all”. Honestly, that is my truth right now. Up until a few years ago, I played small. I played the game of pretend….pretending I didn’t have power inside me….pretending I didn’t know how powerful I really am. When I say powerful, I do not mean this in an ego-based way….I am talking about the power every single one of us has because we are all a part of the same source. The only problem is, so many of us either do not recognize it, do not own it, or choose to keep it hidden. This is sad. Instead, most people are taught to play small; to go along with the crowd so as not to “make waves”. That was me. Until now.

threshold of fear

Here I go….I am stepping over that tiny threshold of fear, and letting go of the untrue thought that people will think I am a know it all. Even if someone does think that, it really isn’t about me, it is about them. I want to share with you what I *know* for certain. When I was severely depressed, this message most likely would not have made a difference to me, so I understand if this does not resonate with you *right now*. This is what I have come to know without an ounce of doubt and I want to share it with each and every person I come into contact with. Maybe you already know this and feel this deep in your bones. I pray that you do!!! I began the journey of learning this message after my kids were born. However, I did not *feel* it so deeply until the last year or so. If I could explain to you how I felt at the beginning of this journey, and how I feel now….you would be utterly amazed beyond words. I know I am. I came back to the truth that I know we are all born with.

So, this is what I know. These words are not mine. I just happen to be the conduit for them.

blaming others 

Depression is your soul’s way of trying to wake you up to remember your truth. I know I have said this before, but I must keep repeating it. Depression is your soul’s way of screaming (gently!) to you to please come back to realize you are magnificent. One reason you are feeling so badly about yourself is because you bought into (innocently)the nonsense that people who were supposed to love and protect you, either told you, or showed you, via their actions. This is not the fault of anyone. They were taught the same lessons they passed on to you, and for whatever reason, it was not their time to wake up and realize how dysfunctional their behaviors were. Many people have very sensitive souls. If this is the case for you, it was even more difficult for you to be with dysfunctional people in your life. Your soul was screaming out your truth, and this truth was shut down by dysfunctional people and/or a dysfunctional society. You learned to hide. If we stay hidden for too long, we have no choice but to shut down the truth that we were born with.

learning to take back your power

I am not saying all of this so you can blame your depression on someone else. That is not my message here. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Your life experiences made you the perfect soul you are today. I am telling you this to encourage you to take back your power. When you allow yourself to see and feel the pain and hurt you have endured in your life, you automatically take back the power that was taken from you. Each time you question something you were taught to believe, you gain back power.  The more you question, the more you gain your power back. I am telling you this so that you can understand why you may be hating yourself right now. Your soul is weighted down with self-hate messages that are just plain lies. When you believe the self-hate, you can’t function in your truth. You are fighting against self-hate. The way to get out of depression is to start loving yourself. And, please believe me, I understand this does not always happen overnight. I say “not always”, because I want to leave the possibility open for you to believe it actually *can* happen overnight. Self-love begins when you start listening to and questioning the voices and messages in your head. Replace the lies with the truth. The truth is, every single one of us is here to give and receive unconditional love.

we are all mirrors for each other

We are here to see the beauty in each and every living being we come into contact with. Each being we come into contact with is a mirror for us. Each being has a part of us in them. We are all a part of each other. What I dislike in another person, I also dislike in myself. What I love in another, I love in myself. What irritates me in another, also irritates me in myself. This is a difficult pill to swallow sometimes, but it is the truth. Once we can see ourselves in every single living person/animal/flower etc., we will know unconditional love and we are free. Start by looking at every thought that goes through your mind….every reaction you have……every belief you have…..every choice you make…..and then question it…..while always being as gentle with yourself as you would be with a young baby. Nurture yourself by allowing your truth to surface without judging it. Replace the self-hate with a loving thought, even if it doesn’t feel true right now.

 

You are love….you have the answers you need right inside you…..dig through the old lies and stories to re-discover the truth you were born with…..you are a beautiful soul…..you deserve to be here…..you deserve to feel joy every day……let go of the old stuff you have carried around for years…..question every single thing you tell yourself…..only keep it if you know it to be 100% true….that means you have to prove that it is true! Do something for yourself that feels good…right now….tell yourself you are falling in love with…..YOU! 🙂

 

 

 

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Have you had your dose of silence today?

Written by Amie on August 27, 2009 – 2:32 am -

Walking & pondering

I was on my walk today, pondering again. Maybe I should call it a walking meditation? I was thinking about how we get caught up in our everyday routines and things that have to be done. There are things that need to be done each day like making food, cleaning up, driving kids around, going to work, etc. But, somewhere in there we need to take a few minutes to just be with ourselves. We need to take time to be in the silence. How many people really do this?  I remember before I started meditating, it was very difficult for me to allow myself to take a few minutes for just me. I also remember feeling really nervous to be alone with just me! I was afraid of the feelings that might come up, and that I wouldn’t know what to do with them.

woman_writing

I can do it!

I was finally able to start a meditation practice, telling myself it would be for just 5 minutes. How many feelings could possibly come up in 5 minutes? I could do it, I told myself. Well, it took some reminding and prodding to get to the point of doing it everyday. I started with 5 minutes and worked my way up. Being in silence doesn’t have to mean meditation, this is just what feels good to me. Journaling, or listening to soothing music is very healing and nurturing as well.  Once I realized how nice it felt to just be there with myself, I felt less afraid. Yes, sometimes strong feelings would come up, but mostly not. Most of the time, I would just feel total freedom and no pressures. I felt connection with the realm of silence.

Being with me is priority

Now that I know what I was missing, in terms of making sure I take time just to be with myself, it is a priority. I set the intention that I do one thing everyday just for me. Some days, I am able to do more than one thing, and that feels really good! But, I think by setting the intention and making sure I follow through, I am sending myself the message that I am worth it and I am important. These messages are an integral part of healing from depression. These messages are also the starting point for self-love. When I feel depressed, I am the last person on my list. I don’t even make an attempt to do things that nurture me when I am feeling depressed.

The message sinks in

Once I was able to just “be” with myself comfortably, I was able to step back and really see how important it is to make sure we do things for ourselves that feel nurturing. I have heard this message over and over, but it didn’t sink in until I was sitting alone just learning to be comfortable with me. I would go to the grocery store or go to a movie by myself thinking this was nurturing because I didn’t have anyone else with me. However, I soon realized that yes, this is nice sometimes,  and I really do enjoy going to movies, but it isn’t the same thing as being by myself in silence.

Giving ourselves a gift

Being alone in silence is a gift we can give ourselves every single day. We learn to be with ourselves in a loving way. Our self love grows the more time we give ourselves. Even when our lives feel chaotic, we can take a few minutes out to just sit and breathe. We can feel the breath that keeps us alive moving in and out all on it’s own. We can begin to honor ourselves for all we do, honor our bodies for keeping us healthy. We can accept what is true in our lives in the moment. We can feel grateful for being here. We can begin or continue the journey of self love. If depression is present in our lives right now, we can accept it as it is, and just let it flow through us. We can surrender to the feelings without resisting. We can feel our aliveness in silence. We can feel our connection to ALL when we are in the silence. Healing happens in the silence.



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